Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye
by Hermione Eveningfall
Summary: Jack and Kate are off the island and happily married, until Kate learns a secret... a secret that threatens to tear them apart, possibly forever.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye

Author: Hermione Eveningfall

Fandom: "LOST"

Rating: PG-PG13 (mild PG-13 since I don't really write graphic sex scenes)

Summary: A year or so after being rescued from the island, Jack and Kate are happily married and going on with their new lives. However, Jack is holding a dark secret; one that will eventually tear them apart…

Chapter 1

The alarm clock ran shrilly, causing Kate Shepard to wince in discomfort. It wasn't possible morning was here already; she felt as though she'd just closed her eyes and drifted off. Blinking in the darkness, she lifted her head, finding her husband still laying by her side.

Kate rested her chin on her hands, smiling as she listened to Jack's steady breathing and occasional snore. It seemed cruel to wake him up, on their first Monday morning together as a married couple. In fact, they only returned from their honeymoon that weekend; having spent two weeks traveling through Paris, Rome, and London. Most couples tended to go and spend their romantic vacation on a tropical island, but Kate had no desire to do that again anytime soon.

After all…only a year had passed since their rescue from the island on which the Oceanic 815 flight crashed.

"All right…" Kate began, struggling to sit up, and slid off the bed. She walked across the floor to the enormous window, pulling open the curtains. The sky was still an inky black, but the lights of Los Angeles were flickering, providing the room with a soft, orange glow. Jack made a small noise as Kate came over to him, kneeling down so she was at eye level. "It's five thirty," she announced, kissing him gently on the lips, and amused when she saw a smile creep across his face. He grunted and turned over, burrying into his covers.

"Five more minutes," Jack grunted, and Kate blew a strand of her dark hair out of her eyes.

"No," she replied. "Come on." she hopped back onto the mattress and placed her hands on his bare shoulders, fingering the familiar tatooes on his right bicep. She remembered teasing him about them on the island: _"You must be one of those hardcore spinal surgeons._" she could hear his laughter in her head, and thought about Charlie's definition of their flirting: "verbal copulation".

Speaking of Charlie, he and Clare were living together with baby Aaron in the same city.The two had no plans on getting married anytime soon; after all, they'd only officially agreed to start dating before the rescue arrived, so it was quite a bit to work on. Still, Jack and Kate were glad to double date with the younger couple, and occasionally went out to dinner, to the movies, or just hung out at one another's apartment. Jack and Kate were also willing to watch Aaron if Charlie and Clare wanted to have a night to themselves…that was one reason why they bought the two bedroom highrise apartment. Clare officially named Jack the baby's godfather, which was a great honor.

Jack eventually flipped over on his stomach, grabbing her from around the waist, and pulling her against him. Kate gasped as she landed on his stomach, which felt so warm from being covered. She kissed him passionately, smoothing his whisker-covered face with her palms.

"It's time to get up already?" he whined, relishing the taste of her lips. He was thrilled Kate agreed to marry him; after the confusion surrounding her relationship with Sawyer, he feared that she would disregard his presence in her life forever. Once they rescued him from the Others, Kate insisted that her love making with Sawyer in the cage meant nothing; it had been an act of sheer impulse. She hadn't even said she loved him when he asked, and begged Jack to forgive her for being so stupid.

_It did take some time, _Jack thought as he sat up, massaging his forehead. _After all…when you love someone so much, and you think they're being disloyal to you, it hurts like hell. _

The wedding itself had been very simple, held in the local Catholic church. Kate had no specific religion she followed, and agreed to be baptized as Catholic. She looked absolutely beautiful walking down the aisle, wearing a white dress and with Clare at her heels as the bridesmaid. Charlie participated as Jack's best man, and the rest of the former castaways sat in the pews as the main audience. Even Desmond attended the ceremony, though he'd shown up at the last minute. Sawyer didn't come at all, which wasn't surprise…he'd called Kate to give her a half-hearted congratulations afterwards, and that had been the last they'd heard from him since.

"Unfortunately," Kate replied, letting him sit up after a moment or two. "Better get a shower and get dressed…you have a surgery at seven thirty, right?" she reached over him and flipped on the light, squinting a little until she adjusted.

"Mmmhmm." he got out of bed, stretching, and peered through the window, watching as the traffic began to accumulate for the morning. He eventually went into the bathroom, and Kate, after listening to the shower turn on, began to get her own clothes ready for work. She waitresses at a somewhat fancy resturaunt about ten minutes away, so her hours were sporadic.

Kate rooted through her closet and found a pair of black slacks and a white collared shirt, which was the normal attire besides a black apron. She lay the clothes over the chair by the desk, and sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. She'd been working at the resturaunt for a month and a half, and found it to be exhausting but satisfying at the same time. Her boss complimented her on how fast she picked up the daily routine of things, even though a settled routine wasn't something Kate was used to.

The urge to run was still engraved in her mind; she grew bored with the same thing every single day, but she loved Jack too deeply to leave him. After all, her first husband suffered under her spontaity--he hadn't even known her real name. As soon as she met Jack in the jungle on the first day they were on the island, she'd known they were soul mates. Something about him was incredibly special…she knew she couldn't be without him, ever.

Jack came out of the bathroom about five minutes later, holding a towel tightly around his waist. "Oh, Kate?" he began, before going to his dresser. "I'll be late coming to your resturaunt tonight…I have an appointment after work around 5:30." At least twice a week he visited _The Palace _resturaunt to visit Kate, and usually ordered dinner. The food was excellent, and Kate smiled when she thought of his usual drink: vodka on the rocks with a hint of lime.

She glanced at him, confusion in her eyes. "What kind of appointment?" she asked, standing up, and he smiled at her.

"A doctor's appointment," he replied. "Remember that knee I told you about that was hurting me all through our honeymoon?" he asked; it ached this morning, even, and he had difficulty standing on it for too long.

"Oh good," Kate breathed, running her fingers through her hair. "I was hoping you'd go and have that looked at. You were in so much pain by the time we came home." she shook her head, and Jack nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm sure I just twisted it somehow." he shrugged, and she raised her eyes, wetting her lips.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Jack," she replied, and headed into the shower herself.

Jack dressed quickly in khakis and a button down shirt, wondering what on earth made him so lucky. His life had been a downhill spiral since the plane crash…he shuddered, trying to put it out of his mind. He had a surgery to perform, and all of his focus had to be on the patient.

Jack cringed at the soreness in his knee as he sat down on the edge of the bed, struggling to put on his shoes. He tried to remember what he could have possibly done to injure it…he hadn't gone running again since he bolted up and down those steps of the gymnasium before his father's sudden death. That, of course, was the first time he'd met up with Desmond, and he'd been shocked to discover the Scottish sportsman was the man in charge of the mysterious hatch.

When Kate came out of the bathroom, Jack kissed her gently, brushing a couple of drops from her nose. "Have a good day, huh?" he asked, and she gave him a tiny slap on the behind.

"You too," she replied. "I'll see you later." she waved as he hurried out the door, and adjusted the towel around herself. After he was long gone, Kate began the process of getting dressed. She blow-dried her hair, peering at her reflection in the mirror, and realized with a start at how pale Jack seemed before she saw him go. In fact, he seemed paler than usual…she pulled her now dry hair into a messy bun, using bobby pins to keep it from falling out. Of course, Jack never really let her know when he wasn't feeling well…it was like pulling teeth to get that information.

_It must be a doctor thing_, she thought. _And besides…he doesn't seem sick. Just tired, and we got back from Europe only a few days ago, so we're still adjusting to normal United States time. _She shrugged as she slipped into her pants and shirt, checking her make up and glancing at her watch. She had to be to work from 9-9, a lovely twelve hour shift that was all too frequent. As she pulled her cell phone out of her purse, she saw a text message from Charlie:

_Clare wants to know if you guys want to go out Saturday night. Sawyer's in town…ran into him while on the beach with Aaron yesterday. Just thought I'd warn you. Loves--bye! _

Kate closed her eyes as she re-read the message, and blew out her breath. Sawyer…she had absolutely no idea what he was doing now; or where he lived. Ironic enough that he was in Los Angeles…probably on some con assignment he'd gotten himself into.

Deciding she wouldn't worry about it, she text messaged Charlie back, saying that sounded like a great idea for Saturday, and to thank him for the warning. Afterwards, she slipped into her shoes and headed to one of her favorite café's for coffee before heading to work.

As usual when he was in the midst of a spinal surgery, Jack retreated into a complete zone. He blocked out all of the noise around him, so he could focus on the task ahead…one mistake could cause serious problems with the patient in question. In fact, he'd been through that situation before, with his first wife Sarah.

The white mask covering his mouth and nose was extremely uncomfortable; hot, itchy, and contained the metallic smell of blood. Jack rarely spoke with the assistants surrounding him during the procedure; only to ask for this or that instrument he needed at the time.

The surgery was going very smoothly…it was "textbook material" as he told Kate sometimes, and was finished within a three and a half hour time span.

"Well done, Dr. Shepard," his one female assistant, Elizabeth, complimented him after he removed his filthy gloves, and went to wash his hands.

"Thanks,' he replied, watching as the patient, a middle-aged male who was a Hollywood photographer…was wheeled out of the room towards the recovery area. After his lunch hour he would return to check up on Mr. Lorins, to explain the procedure for home care…usually patients spent at least two weeks in the hospital until their scar healed enough to be jostled.

Jack decided to go to one of the café's nearby for lunch, and lifted his face to the sun. He had to stop at once and grip onto the rail of a subway station entrance, for a sharp pain ripped through his knee. Gritting his teeth, he breathed very slowly through his nose, counting in his head: _One…two…three…four…five…_

He cleared his throat as the pain began to subside, and sat down on the closest bench. He hadn't been entirely truthful with Kate about the appointment, and as he sat closing his eyes and trying to relax, the guilt nibbled on his insides. Sure, he was in deed having the knee checked on, but not by just any ordinary doctor. He was going to an oncologist.

Jack blew out his breath once he was able to stand again, feeling like a crippled old man. Three years before the plane crash, he'd been struck with a rare type of bone cancer, and it started in the particular throbbing knee. He wouldn't have even known about it if he hadn't slipped on a puddle of water at work and fallen, spraining that leg. Jack went through the normal procedure of receiving chemotherapy treatments, which made him horribly sick and weak, causing him to miss quite a bit of work due to his symptoms. He even came in sometimes, and spent most of his lunch hour vomiting in the public bathroom.

This of course, lead to the extreme tension between he and his father, who he used to work with before the death occurred. Not that Mr. Shepard Senior and his son had gotten along before, but Jack's illness made him more irritable and their relationship strained to the point of it being unfixable.

After a year of chemo, the cancer went into remission, and the knee didn't bother him again for a while. The entire time he was stranded on the island, and captured by the others, he never experienced any pain. _I'm sure the memory of my own battle with the disease had something to do with my refusal to do Ben's surgery, _he thought, accepting his sandwich and cup of strong coffee from the café employee. He sat outside, unwrapping the food and taking a small bite…his appetite wasn't at its best, but he knew he had to eat something. _I didn't want to remember it…not on his miserable existence. _

He knew he should have told Kate about his illness, but he didn't want that to interfere with their marriage. However, now that the pain was coming on again, he felt fear gripping his chest. _It's too soon, _he thought, sipping from his cup of coffee. _Too soon to have this happen. Please, God…let the tests come out clear. _Jack felt a single tear roll down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away, and tried to focus on a boy walking his yapping dog down the street.

As he was returning to work, he received a call from Kate, who was on her break as well. "How's it going?" she asked, and he smiled faintly.

"Great," he replied. "The surgery went excellent. I'm heading back to check on Phil…that's the patient's name. What's new?"

Kate told him about Sawyer's sudden visit to Los Angeles, and Jack frowned deeply.

"Did Charlie say why?" he asked, wishing he could smash his coffee cup against a brick wall.

"No," Kate answered. "He didn't go into specifics. Just that he saw him, and that I should be wary. I'm sorry, Jack…I just thought you ought to know."

Jack nodded in understanding. "I'm glad you told me," he replied. "Be careful, all right? At least he doesn't know where you work…yet."

Kate smirked. "That's true," she admitted. "And Charlie also asked if we wanted to go out on Saturday with he and Clare. I said I'd ask you and get back to him when we had a verdiect."

Jack was relieved…he needed an outing, something to take his mind off of his worries. "Sounds good to me," he replied. "Let me know what time."

"Oh, guess what?" she added, and Jack raised an eyebrow. "I heard our song…the one they played at our wedding when we shared that first dance."

Jack laughed. "Show me heaven," he said, and she nodded, smiling to herself.

"And I started jumping up and down when I heard it. My co-workers told me they could tell I was a newly wed, and I'll probably be bitching and moaning about you in a few months."

Jack snorted. "That's highly doubtful," he said. "We spent months already doing that on the island." he smirked. "I think we're bitch and moaned out." Kate laughed heartily, knowing how true that was. She and Jack had personalities like fire and water, and were equally stubborn on certain matters. "Listen, I have to go, okay? My lunch is almost over. I have some charts to finish up before I leave. Be careful, okay?"

Kate promised she would, and after saying she loved him, hung up. Jack sighed and put the cell phone into his pocket, rubbing a hand over his face. Sawyer was in town…what a way to complicate matters.

He went to visit his patient as soon as he put his things at his desk, and Phil was awake, looking rather confused at what was going on. "How's it going?" Jack asked, folding his arms, and the young man turned to him, frowning.

"Good I think," he replied. "Did it…did everything go okay?"

Jack pulled up a seat, and nodded. "Perfect," he promised. "You're going to be just fine in a few weeks."

Phil sighed with relief, a small smile creeping over his face. "I owe you my life," he whispered, and Jack shrugged.

"It was all in a day's work," he replied. "Now…you'll be hanging in here for a week or so, until the scar starts to heal. Then at home, you'll be asked to remain on bedrest for another week…your work is aware that this definitely requires a leave of absence, right?"

Phil nodded. "Yes, sir," he answered.

"Otherwise…you're doing good. Let me know if you need anything…I'm here till five, but nurses are on the floor all day and night. That red button up there is all you need to hit if you have an emergency."

Phil thanked him again, and Jack wandered out of the room, gritting his teeth as more pain struggled to wind through his knee.

_"And a spinal surgeon just happened to fall out of the sky. It was a miracle."_

Jack growled under his breath as Ben's voice entered his head again, and plopped down onto his wheeley chair, flipping open the folder full of half full and blank sheets on his desk.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kate, meanwhile, was overwhelmed with patrons for the late afternoon rush. Her section was packed, and she ran back and forth from the kitchen to the tables as though she were in a marathon. _Perhaps this is why I like my job so much, _she thought as she carried yet another heavy tray of steaming hot plates across the room, nearly tripping over a kid who was running around yelling at the top of his lungs. _I can run around…I don't have to stay in one spot for too long. _

"Here you go," she breathed once she reached her table, frowning as the little boy was dragged back to the table by his mother. "Two roast beef clubs, a chicken salad…" she lifted her head just in time to see the main door open, and Sawyer come through. It took all the willpower in the world not to drop everything and bolt. He didn't seem to be looking for anyone in particular, and was being led to a table in the section behind her.

"Miss?"

Kate realized she'd been completely ignoring her current customers, and turned to them, frowning.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, passing out the rest of the food and drinks, agreeing to bring a refill of a Coke afterwards. She cleared her throat as she juggled the platter, unsure of whether or not she should walk over and say hello. It was awkward, certainly…she hadn't seen him since the rescue, really, and he looked exactly the same.

Sawyer was just about to order a drink from the other waitress when he caught her eye, and his face turned white. _Dammit, _Kate thought, blowing out her breath. _He saw me. Now I have no choice. _she came over after her co-worker left, and he blinked.

"Well, what are the odds?" he asked. "I would never have guessed to see you in a place like this, Freckles."

Kate rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder as a burst of laughter protruded from a party taking place in the sun room.

"What's it look like?" Sawyer asked.

"No, not here," Kate answered. "I mean, here…in Los Angeles?"

Sawyer gave her one of his famous grins, and shrugged. "Can't a guy pay a visit to his friends every now and again?"

Kate snorted. "Oh really…friends? You didn't even come to our wedding, Sawyer…"

"Don't go there," he broke in, and Kate wet her lips…this wasn't going smoothly at all; though what did she expect? No matter what she said to Sawyer, he always managed to come up with a smart retort.

"It's true," she admitted. "We haven't seen you since we were rescued."

"And you have Michael to thank for that," Sawyer replied dryly, and Kate raised an eyebrow. She still had trouble fathoming that Michael had been the one to come back for them, after blowing them off completely when the Others held them captive on the docks. He had also been responsible for shooting Ana Lucia and Libby, but yet he returned…a few weeks following their escape from Ben's grasp.

It had taken the other castaways a while to forgive Michael, even though he did return for them. Hurley was especially bitter, because he'd been involved with Libby romantically, and they were planning their first date when she'd been shot. In fact, Hurley almost refused to get onto the rescue boat altogether, saying he'd rather "stay here than go home with a murderer." Michael was another who kept his distance, though Kate did appreciate his change of mind.

"Oh?" Kate continued to keep an eye on her tables, to make sure no one needed her.

"Miss?" someone called in the distance, and Kate sighed.

"I have to go," she groaned. "Listen…are you staying long in LA? Seriously, we should catch up."

Sawyer looked uncomfortable, and shifted in his seat. "I'm sure the good doctor wouldn't be appreciative of my showing up at your place."

Kate let out a small laugh. "I don't mean at our place…we can go out for lunch or something."

Sawyer agreed to do so; he explained that he was in LA on an assignment for the construction company Michael belonged to, and would be there for about a month.

"Same cell number?" he asked when the customer called again, and Kate nodded, apologizing and hurrying to the table in question. Sawyer watched as she busied herself with work again, unsure of what he'd initially expected when she came over to him. Kate had been very clear about her feelings towards him, and seeing her so happy with Jack prevented him from making an appearance. _But dammit Freckles, I miss you, _he thought, leaning back in his booth.

As Kate continued to work, she kept glancing at him, wishing Jack were there. _I just have to think of him to feel safe, _she thought. _Nothing can break what we have. Never. _She never had a feeling of relief so strong as when Sawyer left after he was finished, though it took quite some time to will her heart to beat at a normal rate.

Jack walked into the oncology department of his hospital after he finished work, and felt his stomach cramping with nerves. He hadn't been here since December of 2003, which marked a good three years at this point. The office of Dr. Olina was not crowded, and he only had to sit for about ten minutes after signing in with the receptionist.

While he waited, he tried to flip through a magazine, but he couldn't move past the first paragaph in the article he'd chosen. Instead, he sat watching as patients came in and out, and jumped when the middle-aged female doctor called his name. He limped a little on his way down the hall, and gritted his teeth once he was sitting down on one of the thin cots. It was like a regular doctor's office, quite honestly.

"How are you?" Dr. Olina asked, shaking his hand once she took a seat at her desk. "I haven't seen you for a few years, which is a good sign." she flashed a smile. "So, what can I do for you today, Jack? You said you were having some pain in that knee?"

He nodded, stretching it out, and gasping. "Yes," he replied. "It hasn't really bothered me for a while, but when my new wife and I were in Europe on our honeymoon for the past few weeks, it was driving me crazy."

Dr. Olina congratulated him on the news, asking about Kate. "Well, we er…we met when we were on an island about a year ago," he replied. "Um…we were on this plane that crashed, and somehow we survived…"

Dr. Olina blinked. "Not the Oceanic 815..."

"You know of it?" Jack asked, and she nodded.

"It flew out of LA, and it was very strange…no one could track down the location for the longest time. Thank God you're all right!"

Jack snorted; they'd escaped slightly unscathed. "Me too," he replied. "But I wanted to have some x-rays done for the knee, and have some blood drawn…" he cleared his throat, not wanting to say what he was going to say next. "I'm trying really hard to be positive about it, but do you think I could have it again?" he raised his eyes. "I mean…remission doesn't necessarily mean anything."

Dr. Olina looked at him seriously. "Jack…"

"Tell me the truth," he begged. "I've had to put up with cover ups way too long."

"I don't deny it could be the cancer returning," she said softly. "But…Jack, if you want the truth…the second attack is a lot more difficult to fight off than the first."

Jack swallowed; as though the first bout of cancer hadn't been difficult enough.

"Have you told Kate about your previous experience?" Dr. Olina asked, her voice quiet, and Jack peered into her eyes. "Oh boy. Might I ask why?"

Jack shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face. "I couldn't," he replied. "I don't know. When we met, we were in a state of shock from the crash…I…" he blew out his breath. "And now…I've never seen her so happy, and I didn't…I didn't think I was going to have anymore trouble, so…" he shrugged, and Dr. Olina smiled.

"Well, wait until your test results come back before you scare her," she continued. "Unless your symptoms worsen and she inquires. I wouldn't lie to her, Jack. Not so soon into your marriage…it sounds like what you have is incredible."

Jack nodded, clearing his throat. "Thanks," he said weakly, and she encouraged him to hold out his arm while she prepared for the blood test. Jack always felt a little odd when he took over the role of patient, and Kate reminded him that he was brutal when he was in that position.

Once the phial was capped, she encouraged him to follow her down to the x-ray lab, which was a large room and freezing. Jack shivered as he lay down on the metal table, glancing at the ceiling while she covered him with a protective padding against UV rays.

X-rays weren't difficult to do, but it was hard to lay still as he waited for each tiny beep to go off. He tried to picture Kate's face in his mind, and smiled when he saw her laughing as she explained to him about guava seeds.

"_Ah…gross little grayish yellow things…"_

He was relieved when Dr. Olina told him they were finished, and had him sit up and wait for a moment or two before standing.

"How long until the results should come back?" he asked, and she looked at him.

"I'd say about two or three days," she replied, and Jack felt his heart hammering in his chest. There was a possibility of it being before their next outing with Charlie and Clare; he couldn't imagine going out and attempting to have a good time when he had that rain cloud hanging over him.

"All right," he sighed, nodding.

"Think positive, Jack. For all we know you could have twisted your knee while on a hike or something."

Jack smiled faintly…he'd had plenty of those hikes while stranded on the island. After thanking Dr. Olina for her time, he made his way out to the parking lot, pressing the back of his hand against his lips as he felt tears welling in his eyes. He couldn't cry…he couldn't break down now, not when he was about to visit Kate.

Sniffing hard he climbed into his car after unlocking it, and headed towards _The Palace. _It took a few minutes for him to gather the strength to get out of the car once there, and he entered just in time to see Kate coming out for her short break.

"Oh hi!" she greeted, beaming, and threw her arms around him. He laughed at her enthusiasm, and kissed her.

"Where are you going?" he asked, tapping her on the nose, and she smirked.

"On my ten minute break. Want to join me outside and then we can get some dinner for you?" she winked at the hostess who nodded her approval, and the two of them sat outside enjoying the warm sunshine. "Sawyer came in," she began, and Jack stared at her, folding his hands on his lap.

"Oh?" he asked, and she smiled.

"He didn't try to cause any trouble…no more than usual," she added, and Jack chuckled. "But I think the two of us are going to have lunch one day and catch up, just as friends," she added quickly when Jack started to respond, and he nodded.

"How is your day going?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She smelled like fried chicken, but he didn't mind.

"Crazy," she breathed. "How did the surgery go?"

Jack looked at her. "Beautifully, thank goodness. Another textbook success."

Kate rolled her eyes…she loved when Jack used silly terms like that.

"And the appointment?"

Silence filled the air, and Kate raised an eyebrow. "What?" she asked, and Jack shook his head.

"Nothing," he insisted, and she frowned.

"What's wrong, Jack?" she asked. "Did something happen…"

"No," he promised. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day."

She touched his cheek, asking if he wanted to go home and lay down, but he shook his head, insisting he was actually pretty hungry. When the ten minutes were up, Kate led him inside and brought him to his favorite seat by the window, overlooking the ocean. It was a beautiful mid-August evening, and Jack smiled at her when she changed her smiling face to one that was amusingly stoic.

"So what did you and Sawyer talk about?" Jack asked while Kate flipped her pad open for a fresh order form. Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing really," she replied. "Just what's going on with him. He's doing construction for Michael's company, ironically enough. He's here for a month or so on assignment."

Jack smirked, ordering his usual vodka with lime…he needed something strong that night, to keep his mind off of things.

"As usual," Kate laughed. "And for dinner, you're planning on having the plate of stuffed crab legs, right?"

Jack gazed at her. "I think I'll go with something different this time," he replied, and Kate pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. She waited patiently for Jack to exmaine the menu, wondering who he was and what he'd done with her husband.

"I think the scallop pasta will do it," he replied, and Kate smiled.

"Seriously, Jack, what happened today?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

"What…" he began. "Can't I change my mind once in a while?"

Kate shrugged, jotting down the order on the pad. "It's just not you," she added, and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it firmly. "I'll be back," she added, not wanting her manager to think she was slacking. Of course, Kate's co-workers all knew Jack came in, so they were not pushy during those times. Still, the patrons didn't care one way or the other, and wanted their food asap.

Jack sat watching as people came and sat or up and left, and then turned his attention towards the ocean. The sun setting over the sea was a beautiful sight; it made the water shimmer, and seagulls cried as they flew overhead. Jack couldn't remember seeing any seagulls on the island…in fact, there weren't many animals besides boars and polar bears that he'd come in contact with. Well, Kate had come in contact with the polar bears while on a hike with Sayid…he'd been in their cage while captured by the others.

_"If you want the truth, Jack, I don't deny it can't be the cancer returning…"_

Dr. Olina's voice remained in his mind, and by the time Kate came back with his order, he'd finished the glass of vodka.

"A refill?" she asked, and he smiled at her.

"A glass of water will be fine, thanks," he replied, and Kate set the plate of pasta down in front of him, putting her hand on her hips.

"You know refills are free for you, Doctor Shepard. You deserve one."

Jack gave a small sigh, and nodded. "All right," he agreed, and watched as she went back to make it.

He sat eating for a good hour, listening as the band came in to play for the evening. When Kate finally got off at 8:30, he took her down to the beach where they stolled hand in hand along the water's edge.

The moonlight reflecting off of her dark hair made her appear as though she had a halo of some sort.

"It's so beautiful, Jack," Kate breathed, having fallen deeply in love with California. She grew up in Canada, where the weather was much cooler due to the northern location of the country. It was taking a bit to realize they wouldn't have to worry about the change of seasons, but it was wonderful being so close to the beach. "I couldn't imagine living anywhere else."

Jack chuckled. "I'm glad you're happy," he replied, and she beamed.

"You seem kind of out there tonight," Kate told him. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but something's weird."

Jack pulled her close, kissing her passionately, until she reached up to touch his cheek with her fingertips.

"Let's focus on us," he replied, and Kate wet her lips, still tasting his. She burried her face against his chest, allowing him to hold her tightly, enveloping her against the night breeze. After a few moments he lifted her in the air, swinging her around, and causing her to laugh.

"Do you think that's really good on your knee?" she asked after he kissed her again. "I'm not exactly a lightweight."

Jack squeezed her stomach gently with his thumb and forefinger, making her shriek with surprise and swat him away. "You're thin as a weed," he teased.

"It's from all of that running," she replied, winking, and Jack laughed heartily.

"If you really want to, Kate…I'll watch you run to the pier there. I know you're thinking about it."

Kate grinned at him. "Jack…" she began, and he stroked her hair.

"Go on," he encouraged, and Kate bolted, allowing the wind to carry her as she flew across the sand, holding her arms out to her sides. When she reached the end point, she turned around, and saw Jack standing about one hundred yards away. She shouted, "I love you!" from where she stood, and Jack laughed as she fell back in the sand, letting her feet sink in. He walked up to her and knelt down as a wave crashed upon the shore, and kissed her after bending over her body.

"What would I do without you?" she asked, sitting up, and shaking the sand from her hair.

"Dry up and shrivel away?" Jack teased, and she giggled.

"That's about right," she replied,and he helped her to her feet. "Well, let's head back…I promised Charlie I'd call him and give him the head's up for Saturday. We're still going, right?"

Jack nodded. "Yes, as far as I know," he replied, and she took his hand, leading him off the beach and up to the boardwalk.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Over the next day or so, Kate began to notice a significant change in Jack's attitude. He jumped every time the telephone rang, and seemed generally nervous all around. Whenever Kate asked what the matter was, he would insist he was fine and comment on the weather.

He even stayed later at work, which was a good indication he was avoiding her, but Kate knew better than to press him. She set up a lunch meeting with Sawyer on Wednesday to take her mind off of her worries, and the two of them sat on the boardwalk eating hot dogs. For a while, neither of them spoke, but focused only on their lunch…it was still awkward between them.

Sawyer eventually started a conversation about his construction work, and announced that he would probably be going to Europe the following year for a gig. Kate looked at him with her mouth full, swallowing before she answered.

"Really?" she then shoved the last of her hot dog into her mouth, and crumped up the wrapper, squeezing it tight. Saywer raised an eyebrow, smirking.

"Hungry, Freckles?" he asked, and she snorted.

"Sorry," she apologized, letting out a belch that caused her to blush with embarassment. "I haven't been eating much the past couple of days…I'm worried." she shrugged, and Sawyer cocked his head to one side.

"About what?" his eyes narrowed, and Kate lowered her head, unsure of how to respond. She never had heart-to-heart chats with Sawyer on the island…unless you count for the unfortunate situation involving their sexual encounter in the cage. Other than that, she tried to avoid him at all costs, not wanting to hear his smart-ass comments.

"I'm sure it's nothing," she replied. "But Jack's knee's been hurting him ever since we left for Europe on our honeymoon. He went for some tests on Monday, and he won't tell me anything the doctor told him. I just…" she shrugged. "I can't help it, Sawyer."

Sawyer scoffed. "Yeah, Doc was always the stubborn type." he blew out his breath, pulling a pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his blue jeans. He offered one to Kate who declined; smoking was one habit she never brought herself to begin; and then took one for himself. It took him a second or two to light the end, for there was a steady breeze where they sat. "So what's going on, sweet cheeks?" he asked, and Kate raised an eyebrow at him.

"Can't you ever call me Kate?" she inquired, and Sawyer gave her one of his mischievous grins.

"I could," he replied, puffing on the cigarette and blowing a ring of smoke into the air. "But that would make life way too easy."

Kate chuckled, fiddling with the wedding ring on her finger. Jack had gotten her a beautiful silver band, containing a sqare diamond that changed colors depending on the angle the sunlight touched it.

"What's going on between us, Sawyer?" she asked, and he turned to her, rather startled by the question.

"What d'you mean?" he asked, and she blew out her breath.

"Are we friends, or…" she peered into his eyes, and he straightened up.

"I don't know," he replied. "Are we?"

Kate again, was at a loss for words. "I've thought about it," she told him quietly, and Sawyer gave a low scoff. He and Kate were more alike than they preferred to realize; they both shared a career of breaking the law, and had difficulty staying in one place for very long.

Kate frowned…she'd been arrested shortly after returning to the states, and had only been garunteed a full pardon after Jack paid for her release from prison. She was told that if she could truly settle, then they would let her go…that phrase was all too familiar.

"Sawyer," Kate began, "When I…when I agreed to make out with you in the cage with the Others, I…"

Sawyer held up his hand. "I understood," he insisted. "You don't have to feel guilty anymore, as I told you."

Kate sighed heavily. "It was about tension release," she continued. "But I still care about you, as weird as that sounds…"

Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Cut the crap, Kate," he retorted. "Don't pretend like you care…"

"I do," Kate insisted, and the two of them were now standing, and facing each other. "I care about you, but just not in a romantic way. I want to be your friend, Sawyer, and I…" she closed her eyes, and was just about to continue when her cellphone rang. Stunned, she reached into her pocket, and peered at the caller ID screen. Jack's cell number appeared, and her heart raced anxiously.

Quickly answering it, she held up a finger for Sawyer to wait, and wondered what on Earth Jack could want at this time of the day. He usually took his lunch around 1, and it was already 3:00. Kate preferred to eat later in the day, probably thanks to her insane work schedule--she thankfully had off that afternoon.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked, and Sawyer turned towards the beach, taking another drag from his cigarette.

"Kate?" Jack began, his voice very quiet and uncertain. "I need you to come and see me at the hospital in ten minutes; I'll be waiting for you on the fifth floor."

Kate raised her eyes, not having a single clue of what he was talking about. "Jack…" she began, and he cleared his throat.

"I'll explain everything to you when you get here, sweetheart," he replied. "Tell Sawyer I'm sorry if you're still hanging out…but I need you…"

Kate nodded, wetting her lips. "I'll be there," she insisted, flipping her phone shut, and held onto it for a moment.

"What the…" Sawyer began, and she looked at him after a second.

"I have to go," she whispered, and he stared.

"You're serious?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Jack needs me to come to the hospital…"

Sawyer started to protest, but Kate put her purse over her arm, and gave him a reassuring hug. "I'm sorry…" she added, and rushed to her car, leaving Sawyer in a state of bewilderment. He raised his arms into the air, cursing loudly, and kicked the rail of the boardwalk roughly. He had a feeling that the situation with he and Kate would always remain a mystery, no matter how hard they tried to figure things out.

He stood watching as Kate disappeared into the crowd on the street, and ran his fingers through his thin, dark blonde hair. "Son of a bitch," he muttered under his breath, still holding the cigarette between his teeth, and strolled away down the opposite end of the boardwalk.

Kate reached her car in record time, barely hopping in as she turned on the engine. She had no idea why Jack wanted her to come to the fifth floor…she didn't even know what the significance of it was. Normally she turned on her music full blast while driving, but she was much too nervous to do so this time.

It took a few minutes to find a parking space once at the hospital, and she ran for the door once she opened the door and grabbed her purse. Panting, she reached the receptionist area, and inquired what the fifth floor contained.

"Oncology patients," the older woman replied with a smile, and Kate's entire body seized with fear. Jack hadn't mentioned anything about going to an oncologist--she felt tears welling in her eyes as she in the elevator, and was afraid she'd be sick.

When she reached the fifth floor, she found Jack sitting in the waiting room. He stood as soon as she entered, and immediately came to embrace her.

"What's going on, Jack?" she demanded, looking into his eyes. "Why are you here…"

Jack cleared his throat, squeezing her hand. _God you're freezing, _she thought with alarm, and bit her lip.

"I've been an idiot," he whispered, and she blinked.

"No…" she replied, but he touched her lips.

"I'm sick, Kate," he added, and every noise in the room seemed to vanish. She stared at him, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I--" she squeaked, "I don't under--"

Jack blew out his breath; he was having a lot of difficulty keeping his own emotions under control.

"Before the crash, I had bone cancer in this knee," he explained, pointing to the one that had been hurting him. "I went through treatments, and was in remission."

_This isn't happening…wake up, Kate…dammit, wake up! _Kate shook her head, backing towards the door.

"Kate, come here," Jack ordered, taking her hand, and pulling her close. "Please…"

She broke down at last, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. "Hey," he whispered, kissing her forehead. "Shhhshhs…"

Dr. Olina came out at that moment, and paused when she saw the two of them holding each other, and when Jack noticed her, he touched Kate's cheek.

"Come on," he encouraged, and she wiped her eyes, apologizing, and he shook his head, slipping an arm around her waist for support. Dr. Olina lead them both into her office, and encouraged them to sit in front of her.

"So this is Kate," she began, shaking Kate's hand, and smiling. "I've heard so much about you."

Kate managed a laugh, glancing at Jack awkwardly. "All good things, I hope."

Jack laughed too, and placed a hand on hers. "Of course," Dr. Olina chuckled. "Now we received the test results back," she began, pulling the x-rays out of a manilla envelope, and Kate wiped her eyes, still damp from crying. Jack took the x-rays and peered closely at them using the sunlight for a better angle. He noticed dark spots surrounding the one knee, and the other was clear with the exeption of slits where each bone connected.

"You remember from before what the cancer cells looked like," Dr. Olina said quietly, and Kate sniffed, looking at the doctor.

"Yes," Jack sighed, closing his eyes, and Kate squeezed his arm after he returned the x-rays, not wanting to look any further. "How bad is it?"

"Are you serious?" Kate asked, and Dr. Olina nodded.

"It's at stage one now," she continued, and Jack cleared his throat, sitting up straighter.

"That's good, right?" he asked, and Kate's eyes widened. She still couldn't believe they were sitting here having this conversation. Jack had been perfectly fine earlier this week…what the hell had happened? Why?

"That is good, yes," Dr. Olina replied. "However, as I told you before, Jack, it isn't always easy to beat the second round of cancer cells. But, it's not impossible, either, and we're going to start you on another session of chemotherapy."

Jack groaned, and Kate closed her eyes, more tears welling up. "When would he have to start?" she asked. "And…what are the side effects?"

Jack rubbed the back of her neck, and glanced at the doctor. "He'll most likely experience nausea and vomiting, and occasionally hair loss is another," Dr. Olina replied, and Kate nodded, accepting a pack of tissues from Jack.

"I'd like to start next week," he began, and Kate stared at him.

"Don't you think we should start now…" she asked, and he smiled faintly at her.

"We have a date with Charlie and Claire on Saturday," he replied. "I don't want to miss that…we haven't spent time with them in a while."

Kate eventually let the tears come, apologizing as she began to cry again, wrapping her arms around Jack and burrying her face against his chest. She was furious…furious that this had to happen now, furious that Jack hadn't told her sooner. When she told him this, he rubbed her back, gazing up at the ceiling.

"I had no reason to tell you before," he replied. "Kate, I was fine when we were on the island. What was I supposed to say; 'Hi, I have cancer, how are you?"

Kate choked on a laugh, and touched his cheeks, reaching up to brush a hand over his forehead. "No," she replied. "But you did ask me to stitch you up like patching a pair of jeans, which wasn't much better." she winked, and he grinned sheapishly. "I think I would have taken the cancer news a little easier…" she had to bite her lip, for even mentioning the dreaded word was enough to make the waterworks begin again.

"Besides," he added. "We were both keeping some secrets at the time, huh?"

Kate's eyes suddenly darkened. "Jack…that was totally different…"

"No it wasn't," he insisted. "Kate, I wanted to start over. I needed to believe I was well, and to start anew felt like the right path to choose. I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily, when we already had enough to worry about."

Kate blew out her breath, looking down at her lap, and Dr. Olina made a small noise to get their attention.

"Sorry," Jack apologized, and the oncologist nodded.

"Kate, Jack didn't want to worry you, especially if the tests came out clear. He wanted to be entirely honest with you, and there was no need for the both of you to worry."

Kate looked at Dr. Olina, and then at Jack. "You shouldn't have to bear your fear alone," she whispered, and Jack smiled softly. "I'm apart of you now." she traced his lips."I always was."

He took her hand and kissed it, smiling when she touched his cheek with her fingertips. "I'll remember that in the future," he replied, and she smiled, her eyes still filled with tears. She eventually snuggled against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart.

"What are his odds?" she asked, and Jack rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Right now they're good," Dr. Olina replied. "But as I said, cancer can be tricky the second time around. I want to make sure you know that before you get your hopes up."

Kate didn't want to let go of Jack; she'd almost lost him once, and didn't want to loose him again.

"How about we schedule our first appointment of chemo for Monday?" Jack asked. "I have to talk to my boss and let them know what to expect."

Dr. Olina nodded in agreement, and wrote the information down on her calander. She stood and so did Jack and Kate.

"I'm so sorry," she replied. "I wish we were wrong about this, but unfortunately the blood tests don't lie."

Jack nodded, still holding Kate, and shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you," he whispered, and Dr. Olina led them out before taking another patient. Jack kissed Kate's temple once they signed out of the office and left, and she took him in, breathing deep.

"I took off early," he whispered into her ear, and she looked into his eyes. "I've been an ass, Kate, and I'll admit that," he added, and she kissed him. "I should have told you."

She nodded, wetting her lips. "I'm going to stand by you through all of this, Jack Shepard," she added. "I love you. And you're going to get well."

Jack smiled, lacing his fingers through hers as they headed out of the hospital. "I know I can count on you Kate," he replied. "I love you so much."

She smiled back, but then frowned. "What are we going to tell Charlie and Claire?" she asked quietly, and Jack blew out his breath.

"The truth," he replied. "Kate, look at me." he turned her to him, and she peered into his eyes again. "I really am sorry…"

Kate nodded. "I know," she replied, touching his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"So how did the lunch with Sawyer go?" he asked, and Kate glanced over her shoulder as they walked towards the elevator. She turned back, feeling comforted with Jack's arm around her shoulders.

"It went," she replied. "I don't know, Jack. If you thought you were a stubborn ox, then he's more of one."

Jack smirked. "That bad, huh?" he asked, and Kate nodded.

"He'll never forget what happened in the cage…" she closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that…"

Jack smiled faintly. "It's okay," he insisted. "It's in the past."

Kate looked at him, and at that moment, they reached the lobby. Once outside, Jack put his hands in his pockets, and rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Are you going to be okay driving home?" he asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah," she replied. "You?"

Jack wet his lips. "I'll be fine. Do you mind if we stay in tonight?" he added, and Kate shook her head. "I just want some peace and quiet."

She agreed, and after hugging and kissing him passionately, parted ways towards her car. She of course, cried all the way home--this seemed like some sort of nightmare. Only when Charlie called halfway through the trip did she stop, and she had to force herself to sound cheerful as she answered. "Hey…" she began, and she heard music playing loudly for a moment or so, causing her to hold the phone away. "What the hell…"

Charlie laughed afterwards, and she blew out her breath. "We made number one this week," he exclaimed. "Drive Shaft's still riding high…"

Kate grinned. "That's wonderful, Charlie," she replied, and she heard Claire's voice in the background, trying to soothe baby Aaron who was whining about something.

"So…we still on for Saturday?" Charlie asked, and she nodded to nothing in particular.

"So far," she replied, and then she heard a few baby noises, and said hello to Aaron before hanging up. Once back at the apartment, she saw Jack pull in, and hopped out to greet him. He smiled at her as they met up, and she cocked her head to one side.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking we need?" she asked, and he laughed.

"A little floor play?" he asked, and she slapped his chest jokingly.

"More like bed play," she replied, grabbing his arm, and practically dragging him inside.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kate was never more grateful to be scheduled for work the next two days. The news that Jack was sick still echoed in her mind, and she found coming to terms with it difficult. She tried to make life as easy as possible for her husband, knowing all hell would break loose once the chemotherapy began.

Jack tried not to bring the subject up when they were both home together, but Kate knew how hard it was. He was trying to be strong for her, though occasionally his voice would crack, an she would take hold of his hand.

"I think we should bring it up casually to Charlie and Claire on Saturday night," she suggested, as they cuddled on the couch, watching an old TV movie. Jack had his arm around her shoulders, which was the best blanket she could have. "You know how Claire can get if we're too blunt."

Jack nodded, kissing her. "I'm scared,' he whispered, and Kate immediately reached for the remote, turning the television off. She didn't want to distract any feelings Jack wanted to get out…and he didn't even protest.

"The doctor said the cancer was only at stage one," she reminded. "we can still beat it."

Jack blew out his breath, fiddling with the silver wedding band on his finger. Kate watched as he did this with a smile, and glanced once again at her beautiful diamond.

"I know," he replied. "I just--she said the second found is more difficult than the first."

Kate rolled her eyes, hugging a throw pillow to her chest. Jack didn't understand her obsession with those…every couch had at least two or three pillows on them, and Kate's side of the bed had three stacked up.

"Doctor's aren't always right," she insisted. "As hard as that may be to believe." she gave him a mischievous smile, and he chuckled, pretending to give her a bit of a headlock. Kate choked on laughter, kissing his chest until he released her. "I wouldn't rely fully on her diagnosis…people have been told they only have one week to live, and they last a year," she reminded, and Jack folded his arms, blowing out his breath.

"I guess I just keep thinking about what I told Ben when I was refusing to do his surgery," he began, and Kate's eyes raised with shock. How could Jack possibly compare himself to that man? She started to say so, but the look on Jack's face told her it wasn't wise to speak at that time. "I told him…I said… 'I just want you to understand how you're going to die.'" he wet his lips, and Kate took his hand, pressing it against her cheek. "This must be some kind of sick irony."

"Stop it," she hissed, kissing his knuckles. "Don't you give up on me, Jack…not when we've come this far."

He held her, rubbing her back, and encouraged her to lay across his lap for a few moments. Kate allowed her feet to rest against the arm of the couch, and closed her eyes when he massaged her scalp. It wasn't something he did often, but it was heavenly each time his fingers scratched under her hair.

"I'm just so angry," he whispered, and Kate rolled over on her back, looking up at him.

"Jack, crying is okay," she promised. "I've been doing all of that lately…it's about time you shed a few tears."

Jack snorted, turning away, and she turned his face towards her. "It's just the two of us," she said, and he hesitated for a moment before enveloping her into an embrace, burrying his face against her shoulder. Kate held him tightly as he sobbed, reaching under his shirt to rub his back gently.

He hadn't cried like this in years…Jack sniffed, lifting his head, and apologizing for having soaked Kate's shirt. He'd trained himself not to loose control over his emotions, because when you were in the medical profession, it was critical to remain calm and collected at all times. The situation might seem hopeless, but it wasn't going to help anything by sobbing like a baby. However, it felt so good, just to let all of his emotions spill out at once.

Kate offered a tissue from the box on the coffee table, which he accepted gratefully. "I promise it'll be all right," she said, after he'd blown his nose and wiped his eyes. Jack kissed her passionately, and she gently touched his whiskery cheeks with her fingertips. Once they parted for air, he gave her a small, tired smile.

"I hope you'll still want to do this once I'm on chemo," he whispered, and Kate grinned.

"Under all that…it's still you," she replied. "It's still my Jack."

Jack kissed her again, pushing her downwards, causing her to groan with pleasure. She accidentally leaned on the remote at that point, and the television flipped back on.

"Oops," she laughed, and Jack got off of her, blowing out his breath.

"Sorry," he apologized again, and Kate cocked her head to one side, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"For what?" she asked. "We're married."

Jack looked down at his lap. "I guess I like each moment to feel special," he explained. "Not when I'm a blubbery mess."

Kate snorted, tickling him. "That was so corney," she teased, and he stuck out his tongue, whacking her over the head with one of the pillows. She opened her mouth in surprise, immediately beginning her tickle torture. Jack eventually got up and lifted Kate into one arm, causing her to shriek with laughter, and she began punching him on the back, demanding he put her down.

"You brought this on yourself," he replied, carrying her all the way into the bedroom, and Kate shrieked again as he gently let her tumble head first onto the mattress. She remembered when he carried her over his shoulder in a vain attempt to escape the Others…well, she only remembered after he told her about it later. At the time, she'd been going into a sort of seizure from the dart that hit her neck in an attempt to knock her down.

"So what are you going to do to me, doctor?" she asked, a big grin stretching across her face as he began to undress her, starting first with her shoes. "Oh, playing dirty, mmm?" she asked, and he looked up, only his dark eyes visible from where he knelt. She loved when he did this…starting from the bottom and working his way up.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out," he replied, and she bit her lip as he ducked down again, and closed her eyes, allowing the euphoria to take over.

Afterwards they both lay on top of the covers, breathing hard. Jack turned to face her, and she smiled as he traced her lips. "I seriously wonder what I would have done if I hadn't met you," he began, and Kate propped herself up on her elbows, for she'd always wondered the same thing.

"You wouldn't have had anyone to sew up your wound," she replied, and Jack chuckled, brushing a strand of hair away from her cheek. "Sayid told me back in our first week, that he thought the odds of our surviving that plane crash should have been slim to none. That's why I think we were soul mates…destined to be together." she closed her eyes, a single tear rolling down her face. "I just can't…" she sobbed, and Jack pulled her close, kissing the tip of her nose. "I can't…I…" he shushed her softly, allowing her to lean against his chest.

"As you said tonight, Kate," he replied, "we're going to make it through this. You told me not to give up, and I won't…I've always been strong for you, and I'm going to continue to do so. I refuse to leave you alone."

Kate smiled weakly, gripping his shirt, just as her cell phone began blaring. Jack stared at her with surprise, and she sat up, noticing it was on Jack's bedside table. "Can you get it for me?" she asked, yawning. "it's probably Charlie."

Jack sighed as he reached for the cell, and flipped it open. "Hello?" he asked, and there was a pause.

"Well, well, well…if it isn't the infamous Doc Giggles himself."

Jack felt his blood run cold, and Kate noticed the immediate change of expression on his face. _Oh shit, _she thought knowing it could only be Sawyer.

"What the hell do you want, Sawyer?" he asked, and Kate snatched the phone from Jack, promising she'd go into the living room.

"No," Jack replied, "I want you to talk to him right here."

Kate bit her lip…no matter how hard she tried, Jack didn't trust her alone with Sawyer. Not anymore. Still, he let them have lunch alone together, but that was only after she'd practically gotten down on her knees and begged. She reminded him of this, and he blew out his breath, nodding his agreement.

"Jack," she hissed. "It's nothing. I promise."

Jack's eyes were still narrowed, and she kissed him reassuringly before going out into the living room. He flopped back against the pillows.

Kate sat down on the living room couch again, taking a deep breath. "You have the worst possible timing in the world," she said, and Sawyer smirked.

"I didn't exactly expect old Jackass to answer, did I?" he asked, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"We're living together, so there's a chance he will," she replied. "on occasion. So…what's going on?" she asked, and there was another pause.

"You tell me," he answered. "What the hell was up with your bolting away last time? We were just getting to the good stuff."

Kate sighed shakily, unsure if she wanted to tell Sawyer about Jack's illness. He would no doubt make a mockery of it in any way he could. "I'm sorry," she apologized, her heart racing. She had to tell him…couldn't lie to Sawyer and feel good about it. _Funny…at one point I could, _she told herself with a roll of her eyes.

"Jack's sick," she explained, and Sawyer snorted.

"What?" he asked, and she glanced over her shoulder towards the bedroom, where Jack was waiting anxiously for her.

"He's sick," She repeated. "We found out he has cancer in his right knee."

There was silence in the air now, and Kate felt tears welling in her eyes again. _No, no, no, _she begged. _You can't loose control in front of him again. Not after…_she cleared the thought from her mind.

"Are you pulling my chain, Freckles?" Sawyer asked, his voice serious, and Kate shook her head.

"God," she choked. "I wish I was."

Another pause. "Damn," Sawyer breathed, and Kate bit her lip, sniffing hard. "He gonna be okay?"

Kate shrugged, folding her one arm around herself. "I don't know," she admitted. "The doctor said he has a chance of being all right, because the cancer isn't spreading yet…but he's going to start chemo tomorrow, so we'll see." she sighed shakily.

"You really do love him, huh?" Sawyer asked, and Kate raised her eyes.

"Are you crazy?" she asked. "I love him more than anyone in the world! I wouldn't have married him if I didn't."

Sawyer nodded to himself. Kate glanced towards the bedroom again, and saw Jack peeking out at her from the doorway. "It's wrong that I was hoping you'd say you weren't sure," he replied, and Kate closed her eyes.

"Sawyer, you knew how I felt about him," she said quietly, and the door to the bedroom closed gently…she could hear the creak. "You've always known."

"Unfortunately," Sawyer growled. "But you know…as they say, life's a bitch. However, I was thinking about your prospect of being buddies."

Kate held her breath, fingering a fray on the band of her underwear. "Yeah?" she asked, unsure of what to expect.

"I think we could try that," he added, and she sighed with relief, sinking down into the cushions. "I don't know how good I'll be at it…I've never exactly been the friendship magnet of the century, but I could give it a whirl."

Kate laughed gently to herself, and nodded. "I'm glad," she said. "Sawyer, Jack's worried…it took a lot of convincing to let me talk to you alone in the living room. I think the two of you need to get together and work out your issues."

She wasn't surprised to hear silence on the other end again, and heard Jack cough in the other room. She got up to go and check on him, and he was laying under the covers with a book in his hands.

"You out of your mind?" Sawyer asked, and Kate rubbed Jack's chest, causing him to smile and touch her hand gently.

"I'm serious," she insisted. "You two need to get over this high school jealousy thing you have going."

Jack raised an eyebrow as he set the book down, and Kate kissed him on the forehead.

"Whatever, Freckles…I'm in your power," Sawyer replied, and Kate smirked.

"Okay.Well, I should go…" she took another breath. "It's getting late."

Sawyer agreed, and after saying goodnight, she hung up, sitting next to Jack in silece for a time.

"What's up?" he asked, and Kate put her cell phone into the charger on her bedside table, and slid under the covers with him. She lay her head on his chest, listening to the beating of his heart.

"I think you and Sawyer need to work things out between you," she began, and Jack stroked her hair.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," he replied. "I might beat the crap out of him."

Kate snorted. "Jack, you guys are such babies with this whole thing. Yeah, we both made a mistake with the situation in the cage, but that doesn't mean we cant be friends. I love you…but I love Sawyer as well, in a totally different way. I can't just throw him out of my life."

Jack smiled sadly, and Kate kissed him again. "Please do this for me?" she asked, and he closed his eyes, shutting the book and setting it aside.

"I guess," he answered. "But hopefully you plan on doing this before Ill be sick as a dog."

Kate chuckled warmly. "I'll try," she replied. "Now let's go to bed…we have to be ready for our date with Charlie and Claire tomorrow." she shut off the light, and immediately snuggled back up to him.

"Charlie…can you find my hair clip?" Claire called in her thick Australian accent from the bathroom of the condo they shared. It was around six thirty on Saturday night, and they were planning on meeting Jack and Kate in a little less than an hour. Aaron was at one of Clarie's co-worker/friend's apartment for the night, which she appreciated greatly. She loved her son, but he could be a handful at only two years old.

"Huh?" Charlie came out of the bedroom, peering in, and smiled when he saw his girlfriend brushing her long, golden locks.

"Hair clip?" she repeated, smiling back when he kissed her, and he nodded, pointing to the bedroom.

"I'm on it," he replied, and after he left, Claire leaned her hands on the sink. She was glad to have met and fallen in love with Charlie Pace, who was the former singer of the famous British rock band, Drive Shaft. Of course, while the band had broken up a short while before, Charlie was persuing his own solo career.

She was so proud of him…out of all the castaways on the island, Charlie had come the furtherst. He started off as a struggling cocaine addict, which sent their relationship adrift for a fair amount of time. Now he was going on his first full year of being clean, and she was relieved…especially since he was going to be the father of her second child. Clarie closed her eyes as she placed her hand against her flat stomach, which would soon bear another heavy watermelon-shape.

The news that she was pregnant again had just come the other day, and she would have called Kate immediately, but wanted to surprise them at the dinner that night. Charlie came in at last, carrying a black hair tie.

"Thanks," she said, pulling her hair into a messy bun. Charlie nodded, peering downward.

"I've almost forgotten what you looked like with a pregnant belly," he teased, bending low and placing his own large hand over her bellybutton. Claire giggled, biting her lip.

"You'll soon be reminded," she laughed, for she'd given birth to Aaron on the island. That had been a trauma in itself, especially with the threat of harm coming to the child over and over. Thankfully, Aaron came off of the island with his mother, safe and sound.

"I can't wait to see the look on Jack and Kate's face," Charlie laughed, his cheeks turning red with excitement. "I still cant believe I'm going to be a daddy." he embraced her tightly, thinking how beautiful she looked in her slim, black dress and flats. Claire sighed happily as they walked out of the bathroom once she finished putting on her make up and perfume.

"Want me to give them a buzz and let them know we're on our way?" Charlie asked, watching as Claire put a black glitter shawl around her shoulders.

"Go ahead," she insisted, and he grabbed his cell phone, stuffing his leather wallet in his jean's pocket. He called Kate's cell, grinning when she picked up straight away. "We're heading out now," he announced, and Kate held Jack's hand from where they sat in the living room, relaxing until their guests arrived.

"All right," she replied. "See you in a few minutes."

Charlie hung up and held out his hand for Claire, who grinned and accepted it.

'Thank you," she replied, and the two of them headed out to the car. The drive to Jack and Kate's apartment was only ten minutes, so they arrived by 6:45, and headed up the stairs through the front door of the lobby.

Jack stood when he heard knocks at their own door, and Kate went to open it. "Hi!" Claire screeched with excitement, and the two friends threw their arms around each other. Charlie slipped around them, and went to shake Jack's hand.

"How are ya?" he asked, and Jack blew out his breath.

"I have cancer, how are you?" he asked, and everyone stopped at once, turning very slowly to face him.

Kate closed her eyes, massaging her forehead wearily.

"Excuse me?" Charlie asked, and Jack cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, and Claire looked at Kate with surprise.

"What's going on?" she asked, and Kate blew out her breath. "We'll have to explain it to you in the car," she replied. "Let's get going…we have reservations at 7:30."

Claire blinked stupidly as she glanced at Jack, who voluntarily took the lead out of the apartment. Kate locked the door behind them, and the four friends were silent as they headed downstairs once again.

"Jack…tell us what's going on," Claire demanded once they were in Kate's minvan, and he looked over his shoulder from the driver's seat.

"I didn't mean to blurt it out like that," he apologized.

"Cancer? Since when?" Charlie asked, confused, and Kate folded her arms.

"I found out yesterday," Jack replied softly, and Claire bit her lip, tears welling in her big blue eyes.

"He's had it before," Kate explained. "Before we were stranded on the island, I mean. But he was in remission for a while, and he started to have pain in his right knee again the entire time we were in Europe for our honeymoon."

Claire shook her head, squeezing Charlie's hand tightly. "Oh my God," she breathed. "Is it bad…can they treat it?"

Jack smiled at her through the rearview mirror as they pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main street.

"We hope so," he answered. "It's at stage one, which means the odds of the cancer responding to chemotherapy are good."

Charlie cocked his head to one side. "And if not?"

"That's an other story entirely," Kate replied, and Jack looked at them.

"Now," he began, "it's out in the open. I don't want anyone mentioning it from here on out, do you understand? We're having a good time tonight."

Claire and Charlie stared at each other, as though what Jack presented them with was an impossible task. The ride to the resturaunt was awkwardly silent after that, until Jack asked what was going on with their friends.

"Um…" Claire wet her lips. "I'm pregnant again. But…"

"Oh Claire…" Kate breathed. "When…"

She smiled. "Found out a few days ago, but went to the doctor yesterday," she admitted. "I was going to call you, but since we were seeing each other tonight I figured…in person would be better." she grinned at Charlie. "And of course, Charlie's the father."

Kate laughed, wondering if this meant the two of them were going to marry soon. Of course, they hadn't been dating for very long…less than a full year, and half of which their relationship was on the island.

When she asked, Claire shook her head. "Not yet," she replied. "We're still figuring things out. I mean…" she looked down at her lap, remembering her first boyfriend who had knocked her up, and left her on her own to deal with the child. Charlie, of course, was perfect in her opinion. He had absolutely no intention of leaving her, and was just as excited about the new baby as she was. 'Yet so was Thomas,' she thought, and glanced out the window.

"Hopefully one day," Charlie replied, and she turned to his happy face. "In the near future."

Claire sighed with content as he squeezed her hand.

"Do you know what it's going to be, yet?" Jack asked, his voice quiet, and Claire straightened up, noticing they were pulling into the parking lot of the resturaunt they were eating in.

"It's a girl," she replied. "I wanted to name her Shannon. Kind of appropriate, I thought."

Kate nodded. "It's beautiful," she replied. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," Claire replied, and they got out of the car, heading inside. It was very difficult to concentrate on having a good time when they knew a dark cloud was hanging over Jack, but for his sake they chatted as casually as possible, and went onto the dance floor after dinner and a few drinks. Eventually they switched partners, and Kate danced with Charlie for a bit.

"How are you doing, then?" he asked as he twirled her around, and Kate smiled softly.

"It's happened so fast…I'm still trying to process it," she admitted, watching as Claire laughed after Jack apologized for stepping on her toes. "He's going to be fine, though…I'm sure of it." she hated the feeling of doubt burried deep in her heart, but she ignored it.

"Well," Charlie continued, "if things get pretty rough, you can always kip at our place for a few days. One of us'll stay with Jack if he needs anything."

Kate smiled at her friend, nodding. "Thanks, Charlie," she replied, "But I'm not going to leave Jack alone. Not now."

Charlie smiled back at her, and put a hand on her shoulder. "Just wanted you to know the offer is out there," he replied, and Kate thanked him again. After ten minutes, Claire begged Kate to take her husband back, because she only had "a few more toes left".

Kate snorted after Jack wrapped his arms around her, and she snuggled against his chest.

"How are you doing?" she asked as they swayed to a slow song, and Jack kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I did that earlier," he apologized. "It's getting a bit overwhelming."

Kate agreed, and reached up to touch his whiskery cheek. "I know." he bent down to kiss her again, only on the lips this time. They didn't leave the resturaunt until closer to midnight, and sat out on the patio of Jack and Kate's apartment until 1.

"When is the new baby due?" Kate asked, and Claire did the math in her head.

"It's June now, so…he's due in March of next year."

Kate smiled as Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulders, yawning quietly. "You're worn out, mate," Charlie said. "We should go. It was fun, eh?"

Claire stood, a little dizzy from the alcohol (she only had two glasses of wine; being pregnant limited her drinking), and held onto Charlie for support.

"Love you," Claire whispered as she hugged each Jack and Kate, and then they were lead to the front door again.

"Thanks for coming," Jack replied.

"Keep us updated," Charlie ordered, and Jack nodded.

"We will," he promised, and the two of them waved as their friends headed down the hall for the main door. Kate watched as they disappeared, and she looked at the ground. Jack closed the door after them, and led Kate into the bedroom.

"That was nice," he admitted. "Thanks."

"Mmmhmmm." she wrapped her arms around herself, and rocked back and forth on her heels. "I really wish I didn't have to work tomorrow."

He smiled, touching her cheek, and encouraged her to get into her pajamas.

"We'll have the evening to hang out together," he promised. "And as Dr. Olina said, I won't be sick from the chemo all the time. It varies."

Kate shook her head. "I love you," she choked, and he pulled her into a hug.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kate wished she could stay in bed past the blaring of the alarm the next morning. She envied Jack for having weekends free, but knew he made up for it during the week. She watched as he slept on, hating that she couldn't spend the entire day with him.

Sighing faintly, she rolled out of bed, tiptoeing into the bathroom to shower. As she stood letting the water wash over her, she thought about her conversation with Sawyer. He wanted to try and be friends with her, but she had no idea how that would play out. _Especially if he's off doing construction all the time, _she told herself. _Plus, it's always hard to tell if Sawyer's being truthful. _

She heard Jack get up once out of the tub, and he peeked in on her. She kissed him good morning, and looked down at her feet.

"I really don't want to work,' she groaned, tucking her towel in and hugging him. He smiled a ther comfortingly.

"It'll go by faster than you think," he promised. "I'll have a surprise waiting for you when you get home."

Kate raised an eyebrow with amusement. "Oh really?" she followed him back into the bedroom, where she began to get her clothes ready for the day. "And what might that be?"

Jack grinned, slapping her jokingly on the behind. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" he asked, and she made a face, sticking out her tongue. Once she got dressed, Jack asked if she wanted breakfast, and she shook her head.

"Nah," she said. "I'm just going to grab a cup of coffee on the way there. Not really hungry."

She checked her watch, realizing she had a little over an hour before she had to be there. "So what are your plans for today? I hope you plan on relaxing."

Jack shrugged…he hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. "Maybe I'll go to the beach for a few hours," he replied. "Read or something. Does that constitute as relaxing?"

Kate kissed him again, nodding, and announced that she had to go.

"See ya," he said, waving, and once outside, Kate pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, immediately flipping through her contacts to find Sawyer's number. She glanced over her shoulder as though he expected Jack to be watching her, and placed the phone against her ear.

When Sawyer answered, she told him about Jack's plan to go to the beach that afternoon, and how it would be a perfect setting for them to meet up 'unexpectedly'. "Blind date, huh?" Sawyer asked, and Kate smirked.

"A blind date he doesn't know about," she explained. "Trust me, today's probably your best chance."

There was a long pause, and Kate bit her lip, unlocking her car and getting into the driver's seat.

"What time's he going?" Sawyer asked, and Kate cursed herself for not asking that question before leaving the apartment.

"Sounds like he's going pretty soon," she answered. "He said he has a surprise for me later, so I'd assume he'll be working on that after lunch time."

Sawyer was quiet again, and Kate wet her lips. "Fine," he grumbled. "You really know how to run a guy into the ground, freckles."

Kate smirked, giving a small shrug. "Thanks, Sawyer. This means a lot to me."

He muttered, "Yeah, yeah," and eventually they hung up. Kate set her cell phone in the car charger, and turned on the engine, heading towards _The Palace_ for another very long day.

California mornings seemed exceptionally beautiful as Jack left the apartment after finishing a cup of coffee. The air was warm, but a comfortable breeze ruffled his t-shirt. Luckily, the beach would not be that crowded this time of the day, so he wouldn't be too distracted.

When he found a parking space, he hoised the folding chair from the trunk, along with his bag of supplies. He found a spot on the soft sand a few feet from the surf, and took his shirt off. The salt air smelled so good; the spray of the sea soothing as it brushed against his face. Of course, he was reminded of the island while he lay there…the first innocent days.

He wasn't very used to relaxing, he admitted…his work was partially to blame. Even at home he was consistently tense, expecting an emergency call from the hospital for a surgery that he had to take care of immediately. His first wife, Sarah, hadn't been very understanding of his personality…she thought he spent too much time focused on work and wanting to fix people; not enough time with her. Kate, however, was different…she knew what she was getting into when she married him, and understood the pressure he was in.

Jack sighed softly, shifting positions in his chair. He didn't notice Sawyer coming down the main steps to the beach.

Sawyer ran a hand over his face as he searched the small crowd for Jack. He'd driven around the block twice, trying to bring himself to stop and get out of the car. He hadn't seen the doctor since the rescue, and had no idea what to expect.

_Cant expect much, _he thought, finally spying the familiar buzzed hair cut.

"Well, lookie here," he announced, coming up behind the chair, and causing Jack to nearly jump out of his skin. "What a coincidence."

Jack raised an eyebrow as Sawyer came to stand in frontof him.

"Did Kate tell you I was coming here?" he asked, and Sawyer smirked, folding his arms.

"Can't pull the wool over your eyes, huh doc?" he asked, and Jack blew out his breath. He appreciated Kate's getting them together before the chemo, but he wished this didn't have to happen at all. Really--what did he and Sawyer have left to discuss? It was clear he still had feelings for Kate.

"Don't make this any harder than it already is," Jack said, and Sawyer shrugged.

"I don't know where to start, man" he began, and sat down directly in the sand. "So--freckles tells me you're out of commission…first things first. What's up with that?"

Jack closed his eyes again, stretching out his bad leg. It felt better after taking the pain medication, but he still couldn't stand on it for very long without it aching.

"Why is it any concern of yours?" he asked, and Sawyer made a low growling noise.

"I don't like this either," he said. "but Kate seems to. I kind of uh--owe her a few favors." he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry to hear about all this," he added, and Jack turned to face him again. "Kate's always loved you…I think we all knew that."

Jack nodded. "I felt like I had known her for years when we saw each other in the jungle for the first time."

Sawyer whistled between his teeth. "I've never felt that way about anybody," he admitted. "My whole existence was bound to find the man who killed my parents right in front of me. I figured I had to be tough, you know? To make people hate me, so when I found him I wouldn't have any problems slitting his throat."

Jack stared…he'd never heard this story. In fact, he knew very little about Sawyer's background, except that he was a con artist.

"Sorry," he spoke after a few moments, and Sawyer looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I really don't want any of that pity bullshit," he replied, and Jack wet his lips.

"I never did thank you personally for helping Kate get through the trauma of being in the cage with the Others," he began. "Even though I think you two could have handled it a little more responsibly."

Sawyer snorted. "You mean to tell me you wouldn't have done her in the cage if you two had been there instead of us?" he asked, and Jack narrowed his eyes, refusing to answer. Sure, he'd thought about making out with her repeatedly while on the island, but he knew it wouldn't go over well with the rest of the castaways. They needed to look up to him as a role model, as someone who had their tiny community under control.

"So…" Sawyer shifted his position a little. "About this cancer thing. How bad is it?"

Jack touched the knee in question, and then took a deep breath. "This isn't the first time I've been sick," he admitted. "I had cancer before the crash. Before my father died--it tore us apart, because I was so sick all the time. My father was basically ashamed of me-ot like I could have helped it." he shrugged. "He never thought I could live up to his standars, and when I had cancer, that kind of sealed his opinion." Jack cleared his throat, causing Sawyer to straighten up.

"I've never really known anybody as brave as you," Sawyer admitted. "You're right in there with shit hit's the fan."

Jack snorted. "I guess I've always had this obsession to fix people. I guess I needed the world around me to be perfect if I couldn't be."

Sawyer nodded, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and offerint one to Jack. Jack shook his head--he never took up smoking, and was glad for it. Sawyer lit one for himself, and took a puff.

"I tried to find a problem with you," he admitted. "I hated how everyone looked up to you, being the doctor and all. It was so damn cliché." he shrugged. "Of course--I wasn't really looking to make buddies with anybody--I wanted the hell off that damn island."

Jack offered Sawyer a bottle of water from his bag, which he accepted. "The harder I tried to hate you," Sawyer continued, "the more damn perfect you were."

Jack laughed. "If you wanted to help out, you just had to pitch in. It's not like I chose to be a leader…it just kind of happened." He watched as a brother and sister chased each other along the water, splashing each other. He thought about Kate's desire to have children of their own, and wondered how he could fare as a father.

"I guess I didn't care after a while," Sawyer replied. "I set my mind to something else."

Jack smirked, sipping from his water bottle. "Making everyone's lives miserable to distract attention from me?" hea sked, and Sawyer raised an eyebrow.

"Pulling the punches, eh boss?" he asked, and Jack shrugged. "Let's get this out in the open, Dr. Quinn, 'cause it's bound to rear up at the worst moment if we don't."

Jack braced himself, knowing exactly what Sawyer was talking about. He didn't want to hear it, but it was best to let the man talk if he were willing.

"Kate turned me on as soon as I locked eyes on her," he said. "Couldn't help myself. She gives this…radiant energy no wman I've ever known has. Hell, she may have been a goddess for all I know."

Jack lowered his head--he'd felt the same way when he first met Kate. Even through her terrified eyes, she drew him in immediately.

"I know," he agreed, and Sawyer folded his arms.

"You can't blame me for what happened in the cage. The tension was incredible, and well…sex is the best way to relieve it."

Jack cringed. "Did she say anything?" he asked quietly. "afterwards, I mean?"

Sawyer looked down at his feet, and then back up at Jack. "No," he replied. I asked her if she loved me, and she didn't say a word. That's why I didn't come to the wedding," he explained. "I didn't want her to feel as though she had to choose. You could take care of her better than me."

Jack raised an eyebrow, his throat choking up.

"Kate still cares about you," he promised. "She believes you could still be friends. You've really proven yourself, Sawyer," Jack told him. "Thank you."

Sawyer clasped a firm hand on Jack's bare shoulder. "Let's say we call it an official truce," he suggested. "Kate is solely responsible for kicking my ass right now."

Jack laughed, stretching out his hand, which Sawyer grasped in a firm handshake. "So…she says you're headed for Europe soon?" he asked, as the tension slowly began to wear off. It would never be officially gone, but they wouldn't feel as though either were threatening anymore.

"Yeah," Sawyer replied. "Doing some construction in London with Michael's company. Kate told you I work for him now, right?" he asked, and Jack nodded, checking the time. He needed to stop by the supermarket and find the ingredients for Kate's surprise that night. It was only 12:30 now, and Kate finished work at 6:30. Still, he wanted the apartment to be perfect when she came home.

"How's that going?" he asked, and Sawyer gave another shrug.

"Time consuming," he replied. "But I make a fair penny there. Plus--gives me an excuse to skip town if the going gets rough." he gave Jack a hand packing up, frowning when the doctor hissed in pain, gripping his bad knee and hunching over.

"All right, rambo?" Sawyer asked, and after counting silently to five and breathing deeply through his nose, Jack nodded, able to straighten after a while.

"It comes in waves," he explained, and Sawyer shook his head.

"So your treatment starts tomorrow?" he asked, and Jack nodded.

"For 18 weeks," he replied. He limped to the nearest bench, slightly startled when Sawyer eased him onto it. "Thanks," he croaked. "Well, I'll be fine from here…I have some things to do."

Sawyer nodded in understanding. "I'll be in LA for a few months," he said. "If you need anything, I'm a cell phone call away."

Jack thanked Sawyer, who wandered away, wondering what the hell had just happened. He eventually gathered up the strength to go to the car, and headed to the supermarket, still in a bit of a daze from the previous hour.

He finished shopping by 2:30, and needed to limp to the car afterwards.He gritted his teeth while he put the bags in the back seat, and lowered himself onto the seat. His head spun a little, but he was fine after a moment.

"Dammit," he cursed, gripping the steering wheel, and blew out his breath shakily before turning on the engine. The pain gradually wore off as he grew closer to home, ane he was able to get the groceries out of the car and up to their floor without much trouble. He planned on making Kate's favorite meatloaf and mashed potatoes dinner, which she called "comfort food". He prided himself on his cooking skills…it was something he loved, and Kate hated.

If she had her way, he thought, we'd be eating take out every night.

Once the meatloaf was in the oven and the side dishes in pots on the stove, he bustled around setting up the kitchen. He cleared off the pieces of the morning paper, spreading a white table cloth over top. He set it with their good plates and silverwear, along with two lit candles and the boquet of rose's he picked up as well.

Kate arrived home at 6:45, exhausted and feeling incredibly gross from dealing with food all day. She opened the door to the apartment, and was startled to hear soft piano music filling her ears. Standing still for a moment, her eyes moved to the living room, where Jack sat playing the piano, and her lips stretched into a big smile. He rarely had time to play anymore--only on certain occasions.

She set her purse down on the living room couch and went to stand next to him, which eventually drew his attention to her.

"Hey," he greeted, and she grinned again, bending down to kiss him.

"Hey. What's all this?" she laughed as she noticed a candle sitting on the coffee table, lit and smelling like cinnamon.

"I told you I had a surprise for you," he explained. "Come into the kitchen."

Kate followed him, and gasped when she recognized the smell coming from the oven. "Oh my gosh, you're amazing," she squealed, throwing her arms around him after noticing the table. He laughed and held her tightly, encouraging her to change into something more comfortable. She smiled gratefully, and immediately showered, putting a light sun dress on afterwards.

Once re-joining him in the kitchen, she asked if he'd met up with Sawyer, and Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Unforunately," he replied. "But it went okay. We've kind of reached a truce," he explained, and Kate sighed with relief.

"Good," she said. "I'm sorry I kind of instigated that--but it had to happen, Jack."

He nodded, just as the kitchen timer went off, and she released her grasp on him, offering help.

"Nope--just sit down," he said, and she did as she was told, watching as he pulled the meatloaf out of the oven. Her stomach growled at that moment, causing her to blush with embarassment, and he brought the food to the table each dish at a time.

"This looks delicious, Jack," she replied, and after he poured each of them a glass of wine, he told her to help herself. "So what did you two um…talk about?" she could only imagine how awkward the situation was for both men, and felt a little guilty putting them both through that.

"Pretty much everything," he replied. "Sawyer handled it a lot more maturely than I would have thought."

Kate smiled, taking a bite of her meatloaf. "Oh my God," she breathed. "You have no idea how much I've missed eating this type of thing. It's delicious. Thank you."

Jack nodded, and then he cleared his throat. "Um…I saw some kids on the beach today," he began, "and I thought about what you told me…about wanting to have children of your own some day."

Kate sipped from her wine, wondering where he was going with this conversation.

"I think I'd like that," he continued, and she raised her eyes. "I thought tonight we should get a head start, before the chemo starts to mess everything up. If you're up for it."

Kate grinned again, after taking another bite. "Up for sex with my husband?" she asked, and Jack blushed. "Anytime, day and night." she hopped out of her chair and went to sit on his lap, pressing her lips against his.

"We should probably finish dinner first," he laughed as she continued kissing him.

"Especially since you put so much time into it," Kate agreed, and after the meal ended, she insisted they go straight to the bedroom. It was strange to think they were having sex for a reason…usually they did it just for how good it felt. Now it was that mixed with the hope that a child would be created.

"Did you ever want to do this with Sarah?" Kate asked when they were laying on the bed once undressed, and Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What brought that up?" he asked, placing himself over her as usual, and Kate shrugged.

"I just wondered…am I the first you've wanted to have children with."

Jack kissed her forehead. "Yes," he replied truthfully, and she smiled with content. Bofore she knew it, he was inside of her.

Several hours later they lay panting side by side, and Kate snuggled as close as possible as she could to him. It was after 10:30, which meant they had sex for 3 hours total.

"Longest yet," she laughed, tracing a heart shape on his chest. He took her hand and squeezed it, gazing into her eyes. They continue to lay in silence, and Kate listened to the sounds of the city as it went on below them. She found it hard to believe that after tomorrow, their lives would never be the same again. Of course, as soon as they found out about the cancer, everything turned upside down.

"Im exhausted," Jack announced, and Kate knew he had every reason to be. Especially after his conversation with Sawyer, and having spent the rest of the afternoon setting up for her return home from work. "Do you mind if I just go to sleep?" he asked, and she touched his cheek, nodding.

"I'm off tomorrow, so I can come with you to the appointment," she promised, and he raised his eyes.

"Really?" he asked. "I didn't think you had off tomorrow."

Kate gave a small shrug. "I made a little switch with the manager for my schedule this week. She knows about the appointment, and insisted I take off to be with you."

Jack smiled faintly; he was grateful, because driving home while the chemo poison worked through your system didn't excite him at all.

"Thank you," he whispered, and Kate nodded.

"I love you, Jack," she replied. "I would never want to leave you to do this type of thing alone."

Jack nodded in understanding. "I appreciate it very much, sweetheart." he yawned again, and Kate flipped off the light, knowing he wasn't going to make it much longer. She pulled the covers up to his chin, and lay there for a few minutes, listening to his steady breathing.

_I love you so much, _she thought. _More than you will ever know. _


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The night passed way too quickly for Kate's liking, and before she knew it, they were up and getting ready for Jack's appointment. Charlie called to wish them luck, and askd if they needed anything.

"I think we'll be fine," she replied. "thanks."

Jack eventually told her it was time to go, and she hung up shortly afterwards. "Are we taking my car or yours?" she asked, and he looked at her.

"I don't have much say in the matter, considering I won't be in the state to drive after this," he replied, and Kate opted to take her car--she hated driving Jack's minivan. The more Kate looked at him, it was clear he was in pain; it killed her that she couldn't do anything to make it better.

They left the apartment, only to find it was starting to rain outside. "Lovely," Jack groaned as they hurried to the car, hopping in as soon as Kate unlocked the doors. HE took a shaky breath, trying to keep his bad knee stretched out, and closed his eyes. Kate glanced at him every so often along the way, having a feeling he would go straight to bed when they came home.

When they arrived at the hospital, Kate encouraged Jack to take hold of her arm for support; he was limping now. Once in Dr. Olina's office, they sat on the comfortable couches and waited. Kate held his hand the entire time, gently massaging his strong, calloused fingers. He watched her do this, reminded of how she gently took his hand and squeezed it while he came to visit her after he came to visit her in the Other's game room.

Once his name was called, she followed him to the same room they were in before, and felt her heart racing with anxiety. There was a small amount of equiptment sitting on the cot, and the doctor smiled at them when they took seats by the window.

"How are you?" she asked, and Jack gritted his teeth as a fresh wave of pain shot through his knee.

"Hurting," he admitted, and she nodded in understanding. "So…how is this working?" he asked, for he'd received treatments in the hospital the last time he had cancer. Dr. Olina took a white box, which reminded Kate of a white version of the Oceanic 815's radio receiver. It had a few lights and buttons on it, along with a small screen that showed a bunch of numbers. She handed it to Jack, who glanced at Kate with a look of surprise on his face.

"It's light," he said softly, and Dr. Olina nodded.

"Yes, which will make it a lot easier to work with. It'll be inserted surgically here…" she touched his side, and Kate closed her eyes, feeling tears welling in them. "This screen shows the doseage…you use the up and down buttons for when you come back so we can change the level, depending on how you're feeling afterwards."

Kate choked on a sob, and Jack looked at her, squeezing her hand. "Shhhsh," he soothed, and she apologized. "Do you need to leave?" he asked, and she stared.

"No," she whispered. "I'm…I'll be okay. So…will that be hard to sleep with? He has to wear it at night, doesn't he?"

Jack turned back to the doctor, who smiled at her.

"Yes he will," she replied. "but it will be hooked to a long cord that will give you adjustability. The tube itself is what will be in you, Jack…the device can be clipped to your pants or sitting beside you."

He nodded in understanding, and blew out his breath. "Let's do it, then," he announced, and Kate gripped his arm once he returned the things to the doctor, and he kissed Kate on the cheek.

"You can wait in the other room, honey," Dr. Olina suggested. "There are plenty of magazines…this might take a bit of time to get situated. Then we'll have him stay here until we're sure it's going through his system."

Kate swallowed and stood, feeling a little dizzy. She watched as Jack followed the doctor down to one of the chemotherapy stations; he turned around one last time before entering, and smiled at her confidently. She folded her arms around herself, wishing Sawyer or Charlie were here to keep her from going insane.

She sat down on the couch in the waiting room, too anxious to pick up a magazine and start reading. The clock on the wall seemed to move very slowly, and she jumped every time the door opened and closed.

Almost an entire half hour passed before Jack came out of the room, looking pale and shaky, and the doctor encouraged him to come back into her office so he could lay down and let the medicine adjust. Kate rushed in to be with him, and watched as he eased himself up onto the cot.

"Take it easy," Dr. Olina warned. "I'll be back to check on you in a little while. Kate, keep this right by him if he needs it," she added, and Kate was handed a plastic basin. She could only guess what it was for, and nodded in agreement. Once the doctor was gone, the room dissolved into silence, and Kate took a seat on the chair beside the cot. She was almost afraid to speak as Jack lay there, breathing as steadily as he could.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, and she reached for his hand, squeezing it.

"Yes," she replied. "You?"

He smiled faintly. "Hanging in there," he replied. "Thank you for coming with me."

She nodded, pressing his hand to her cheek. "I wouldn't have let you go alone," she insisted, and he gazed up at the white ceiling, closing his eyes. By the time Dr. Olina returned, he was feeling a little woozy, and held tightly onto Kate as they made their way to the car. The basin was allowed to come along, in case Jack had to get sick on the way home--and unfortunately about five minutes into the ride, he did. Kate parked the car on the side of the road and let him get out and throw up…she stood beside him, rubbing his back, feeling tears pour down her cheeks.

"Jesus," Jack gulped once he was finished, and she bit her lip.

"Are you going to be all right?" she asked, and he turned to her, his face deathly pale and sweaty from the heat and exertion.

Jack drug a hand across his mouth, and Kate wished she'd brought along a bottle of water that he could use to rinse out the taste…she hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head, and helped him back into the car once he was feeling better. Luckily that was the only incident the rest of the ride, but he was in the bathroom off and on for the next couple of hours. When he went to bed after he was quite sure he wasn't going to be ill again, Charlie called, asking how the appointment had gone.

"He's so sick," Kate sobbed, and Charlie bit his lip. Claire was working that night, so he was in charge of Aaron for a few hours. "What am I going to do?"

He shrugged, watching as the baby crawled along the floor, pausing once to gaze up at him with his big blue eyes. Charlie made a face at the little boy, and Aaron squeaked with giggles.

"I would come over, but I have the baby," Charlie told her. "I'm sure this isn't the best time for Jack to be disturbed."

Kate blew out her breath, rubbing a hand over her face. "Where's Claire?" she asked, and Charlie picked Aaron up before he rammed his forehead into the coffee table.

"Working till 8," Charlie replied, and Kate glanced at the clock…it was 6:30.

"Oh." she slumped down against the cushions.

"Want me to come over after she gets home?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"No, I'll be okay," she promised. "Sorry…I really should have some dinner, though. Ill just make the leftover meatloaf Jack and I had last night."

There was a pause, and Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want me to bring you something?" he asked.

"No…look after Aaron," she insisted. "No point in taking him out." she heard the baby babble nonsense words, and smiled to herself. Hopefully in the near future, their apartment would be filled with the same noise. "Jack's definitely not eating tonight, so I'll have enough for me."

Charlie nodded. "Are you working tomorrow?" he asked, and Kate cursed to herself…yes, she was.

"Unfortunately," she grumbled. "I already took off today to be with Jack…he'd kill me if I did for tomorrow."

Charlie laughed. "You need the distraction. Well, I have to go--Aaron keeps grabbing my face."

Kate smirked at the vision. "Thanks for calling," she said, and after Charlie replied, "Anytime", he hung up. Kate rubbed a hand over her face, listening for any noise coming out of the bedroom. He'd been very quiet for the past hour, and he probably wouldn't get up again until the next morning.

She forced herself up and to the kitchen, where she took out the leftovers from the previous night's dinner. She could hear her neighbor's laughing and the door closing…they must have had guests over. For a while she sat eating alone, pressing her fingertips against her forehead when she'd feel her throat choke up with tears.

When she was finished, she went to check on Jack, and found he had a small fever. She went to get a thermometer and took his temperature once she had him awake and somewhat alert. "One hundred and one," she sighed, and Jack struggled to sit up, clasping a hand over his forehead. "Do you think you'll be able to take down some ibuprofin?"

Jack let out a small groan, and Kate kissed him. "I don't know," he admitted. "every time I move it hurts." Kate stroked his cheek, and watched as his eyes gazed weakly into hers. "I'm so sorry, Kate…" he whispered, and she glared at him.

"Don't you dare apologize to me," she warned. "you couldn't help getting sick. I don't want you blaming yourself for this."

Jack coughed, and Kate broke away from him. "I love you," he whispered, reaching for her hand, and she took his and squeezed it.

"I know," she replied.

"Did you survive on your own for dinner?" Jack asked, and she made a face at him. "What? I don't think you've ever used the stove since we moved in."

Kate snorted. "I had leftovers. And excuse me, but I did live by myself before we crashed on the island, so I can cook…a few things."

Jack forced himself to smile, before gazing towards the window. The sky was darkening now, and the street lights were on. "Good thing I took off work for the next few days," he muttered. "there is no way I'd make it tomorrow."

Kate groaned; she wished she didn't have to go in herself, but there was no choice.

"I wish I had vacation time like that," she whined, and he smiled at her again.

"I don't you here playing my nurse twenty four seven when I'm not working," he warned, and Kate raised her eyes.

"But that's what a wife is supposed to do, isn't she?" she asked, and Jack shivered a little, which prompted her to pull the blankets closer to his chin. "Isn't that what our wedding vows were about? To be with each other through sickness and in health?"

Jack smirked. "Well yeah," he replied, "but I still don't want you hovering. You need to get out and distract yourself, or you'll make it twice as hard for me to get through this. You asked me to be strong, Kate, and I'm asking you the same favor."

Kate touched his cheeks, and planted a kiss on his lips. "I'm trying, Jack," she whispered, and he gave her a serious look.

"I don't want you to try," he whispered. "I need you to do it."

She bit her lip, clutching his hand, and she nodded. "Okay," she replied, and when she asked if he wanted the ibuprofin again, he agreed that she should get it. Kate grabbed the bottle from the medicine cabinet, and peered at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, and frowned. She had changed so much since landing on the island…her facial expressions were most definitely softer.

Kate left the bathroom after putting three pills into her palm, and Jack struggled to sit up, accepting the medicine and the glass of water she provided. She stroked the back of his head after he took each of them down, and he gazed at her.

"It won't be like this every day," he promised, and she bit her lip, her eyes still wet with tears.

"I know," she replied. "Jack…" she cleared her throat, laying down beside him. "I'm so sorry…"

He stared. "For what, sweetheart?" he asked, and she placed the palm of her hand over his chest.

"For not being truthful with you on the island. I'm sorry I lied to you…"

Jack touched her lips. "There's no need to apologize again," he insisted. "I told you I forgived you…that's all."

Kate shrugged, pressing her lips against his bare skin. "I know," she admitted. "I just…I hate that I hurt you."

Jack hugged her tightly, and encouraged her to get ready for bed. He dozed lightly when she got into her nightgown and brushed her teeth, before climbing under the covers. Kate snuggled as close to her husband as she could, not wanting to be away from him for even a second.

After whispering good night, it was Jack's turn to burry his nose against the crook in Kate's neck. Normally it was the other way around, and Kate loved the role reversal. She lay awake for a bit, listening to his somewhat steady breathing, and smoothed his buzzed hair. Once she was sure he was comfortable, she closed her eyes and drifted off.

Jack was correct in his prediction that the chemotherapy wouldn't affect him so seriously every day. He felt better by the middle of the week, and was quite sure he would be ready to return to work the following Monday.

Sawyer came over to visit on Friday after Kate got off work herself, and the three of them sat in the living room chatting casually. For the most part, Jack and Sawyer were involved in conversation…she found herself smiling about it. She was relieved they didn't appear that they wanted to kill each other while in the same general area anymore. At one point, Sawyer even had Jack laughing quietly, his hand enveloping Kate's.

After a couple of hours, Jack apologized and announced he wanted to go and lay down. "I'm starting to feel a little nauseous," he explained when Kate questioned him, and she nodded.

"Should I go?" Sawyer asked, looking a little uncomfortable, and Jack shook his head.

"No--stay as long as you like," Jack insisted, and Kate stood up to kiss him. Sawyer watched as Jack wrapped his strong arms around her waist, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Let me know if you need anything," she whispered, and Jack nodded.

"I will," he replied. "See ya," he added, and Sawyer gave him a half-wave. When Jack shut the door to the bedroom, Kate crossed her leg from where she sat on the couch, and Sawyer tapped his fingers together.

"He's doing good today," she spoke up after a few moments of awkward silence. "Once his body adjusts to the medication he wont be as sick. Luckily his hair is already buzzed real short…we won't have to worry about that falling out."

Sawyer smirked…he was craving a cigarette, but didn't think smoking in the apartment was allowed.

"It isn't," Kate replied. "but it's fine if we're on the patio."

Sawyer followed her after pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, offering one to her once they were leaning on the railing and peering out over the city.

"No thanks," Kate told him with a smile. "Never took up smoking."

Sawyer lit a cigarette, and shoved the lighter into his pocket. "Don't start," he said, slightly hoarse from the smoke, and blew a ring after a second. "So, Freckles…are you really doing okay? I mean…I know you said you and Jack are fine, but you seem pretty on edge."

Kate folded her arms. "Well, that's an obvious reaction," she answered. "I keep telling myself that Jack is going to be fine. Cancer treatments are really high end these days…a good percentage of patients are treated."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes. "But?" he asked, and Kate lowered her head.

"I guess it's something that goes through everyone's mind if they have a loved one who has it…what if my husband, wife, boyfriend…whatever…ends up being the small margin who don't make it?" she could feel her throat choking up at the very thought, and Sawyer took another puff.

"True," he replied. "but Jack's really proven himself worthy of a good fight. I mean, look at how he survived the Others…"

Kate snorted. "Are you seriously comparing his cancer battle with them?" she asked, and Sawyer shrugged. "besides…Jack had it a little easier than we did. Or at least, it appears that way."

Sawyer looked at her. "He never told you what they did to him, did he?" he asked, and Kate shook her head.

"I found it smarter not to press him," she explained. "I figure…when he's ready he'll tell me. But…it took him long enough to forgive me for what happened between the two of us in the cage. I didn't want to make things more difficult."

Sawyer turned away, taking the cigarette out of his mouth for a bit, and letting a bit of the stray ash drop to the ground below. Kate bounced a little on her heels, and touched his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and he raised an eyebrow. "What happened that day should have never happened. I don't know what I was thinking…"

He sat down on the lounge chair, and stuck the cigarette back in his mouth. "Dammit, Freckles…I always knew you loved Jack," he insisted, and she stared. "I don't see why you have to keep saying you're sorry. The truth is out, let it go."

Kate sighed. "If you knew I loved Jack," she began, "why did you let me…" she cleared her throat. "Why did you let me have sex with you?"

Sawyer gave another shrug. "Why did I eat a fish biscuit?" he asked, and Kate bit her lip, slightly amused. "Kate, the Others really fucked us up. Keepin' us in cages that were supposed to be for polar bears. Puttin' you in that short dress in perfect view. I couldn't help myself, and the stress was getting to you, too. You probably figured, why the hell not?"

Kate sat down next, fiddling with the wedding ring on her finger. "Jack saw us," she croaked, and Sawyer stared. "He saw us through the television monitor when he was being held captive in that room with the glass wall. It wouldn't have mattered as much, Sawyer, but…"

"You didn't tell me that!" Sawyer cried, and Kate bit her lip. "I thought you told him yourself we made out! I didn't know he actually saw everything!"

"If he hadn't seen us, I wouldn't have told him," she admitted. "But the fact that he did made it so much harder to put things right. I couldn't deny what was right in front of him."

Sawyer snuffed the cigarette out at last, flicking it over the edge of the patio. "Kate, I don't regret what happened that day. I don't regret a damn thing…it was the best feeling I've ever had in my life."

"We can't talk about it anymore," Kate whispered. "Sawyer, please…I'm begging you to just keep it to yourself from now on. It was a mistake, and that's that. Besides…to me, having sex is something special, and should have a purpose. Jack and I…" she bit her lip. "Jack and I are trying to have a baby."

Sawyer's eyes widened. "Excuse me?" he demanded, and Kate looked at him.

"We are," she replied. "Last night we er…had our first attempt at it."

Sawyer looked as though he'd been struck across the face, and Kate hugged her knees to her chest. "Well, ain't you just full of surprises?" he asked, and she smiled faintly.

"That makes two of us," she replied, and Sawyer gave a huff. "Sawyer, I…I want you to be the baby's godfather."

Sawyer stood, the color draining from his face. "What…" he began, and she stood up to face him.

"I mean it," she continued. "It would be good for you."

"Good for me?" Sawyer asked, pointing at himself. "Kate, I highly doubt Jack's going to approve…I take it you haven't asked him yet."

She shrugged. "He trusts my judgement," she insisted.

"Why not ask Charlie? Or one of the other guys…Hurley or whomever? Why the hell would you pick me?"

Kate scuffed the side of her shoe against the floor. "Because I trust you," she insisted, and Sawyer leaned on the railing again. It was beautiful again outside, and the breeze ruffled their hair.

"If you really want me to," he replied at last, and she grinned, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. He gasped for air and released her, smirking.

"And let me guess…the kid's gonna grow up to be a doctor just like his dad."

Kate laughed. "I have no idea," she admitted. "but I'm sure it'll be a suggested option. Can't really escape it in this family." she winked, and Sawyer rolled his eyes as they went inside. Jack was still sleeping at that point, and Sawyer told Kate he should get going.

"It's still early," she whined, and he shrugged.

"I don't want to make him nervous," he replied, and Kate glanced towards the bedroom door, biting her lip. She relented at last and said goodbye, watching as Sawyer went down the hall and towards the elevator. When he was out of sight she shut the door, backing into the apartment, and then went into the bedroom where Jack was burried under the covers.

He made a small noise when she shook his shoulder, and he turned to face her, his eyes half open.

"Hey," he whispered, reaching his hands up to her shoulders, and she bent down to kiss him. "Sawyer's gone already?"

She nodded, feeling his forehead, relieved when he didn't have a fever this time. "I told him about our trying to have a baby," she said, sitting down, and Jack raised an eyebrow. "I also asked if he would want to be the baby's godfather."

She'd never seen Jack sit up so fast in her life, and gasped when he fell back again, dizzy from the sudden movement.

"Shit," he croaked, and Kate lowered her heard. "Are you serious?" he asked. "I mean…I know he's changed a lot since the island, but I don't know if I trust him with our baby."

Kate smiled. "Jack, I trust him. If he's given something to care about, he'll do just that."

Jack stared at her, still unconvinced, but she made a puppy face, lacing her fingers through his. "I hate it when you do that," he groaned, and she sighed happily, laying her head on his chest. Whenever she snuggled close to him now, she had to be careful of the port-a-cath. "Kate, I seriously hope you know what you're doing. I do trust you," he added when she started to protest. "But I…" he shrugged. "I trust you," he repeated, and she kissed him.

"It'll be fine," she promised. "Have you given any thoughts on baby names?" she asked, and he smirked, allowing her to rub his chest.

"Not really," he answered. "I've been too sick to do much thinking. How about you?"

Kate leaned against the headboard now; it was too early to get ready for bed; only 5:30, and not even dinnertime yet. "I really like the name Luke if it's a boy," she replied, and Jack smiled at her.

"That's nice," he said. "Luke Shepard…has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah," she answered with a contented sigh. "I like the name Evelyn for a girl, or Amy."

"You've got this all figured out," he chuckled, and she shrugged.

"What can I say?" she asked. "I've given this a lot of thought over the past month or so."

Jack yawned again, and Kate smiled. "I should get up," he muttered, and she shook her head.

"No," she replied. "You're exhausted, and need as much sleep as possible to get you through work next week. If you're ready to go back that is."

Jack nodded in understanding, and encouraged Kate to relax or something in the living room. "I love you," he said as she headed out the door, and she glanced over her shoulder, smiling. As she sat watching television she received a call from Claire, who asked if she would come with her to a doctor's appointment that following week at Jack's hospital.

"Sure, sweetie," Kate replied.

"I made sure to set it up on a day you had off," Claire answered. "Thanks. I really needed the support, and Charlie's been so busy with his recording."

"Sure," Kate replied, and after setting up the details, she hung up the phone. It was ironic how everything was happening at Jack's hospital, and she was glad to go to an appointment that had a cheerful tone to it.

_It's definitely something we need, _she thought, flipping through the channels on the television.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When Jack returned to work that Monday, life began to return to its usual routine. The noticeable difference was the exhaustion overpowering him from the chemotherapy. He wasn't getting as sick these days, but it wore him out all the same.

Claire came to visit Kate one night after she got off work on Friday, and the two girls sat on the couch catching up. Aaron was with them, due to the inability to find a sitter, and he was in the crib Jack set up for when they looked after him. The baby occasionally let out a gurgle of contentment, flailing his tiny arms and legs.

"He's being so strong," Kate told Claire after telling her about Jack. "I'm trying to be strong myself, but it's so damn hard."

Claire moved closer to her friend, touching Kate's shoulder. "I know what you're going through," she began slowly. "I've been there. My Mum was in a really bad car crash shortly before we landed on the island. Seeing her laying there in a coma in the hospital bed was the hardest thing I'd ever done…knowing I couldn't help her."

Kate blinked; Claire never really talked about her family the entire time on the island or when they were back home. "How is your Mom?" she asked, hugging her knees to her chest, and Claire lifted her head.

"She died shortly after we got back from the island," she replied, and Kate lowered her head.

"I'm so sorry," she breathed. "You should have told us."

"What would have been the point?" Claire asked, wetting her lips. "I wanted to put it out of my mind, or I'd go insane thinking about it."

Kate stretched out again, hugging a pillow to her chest. "Jack's not going to die," she told herself. "I'm sure it'll be gone once the chemo is done."

Claire rubbed her back. "Of course he's not going to die," she promised.

"But why do I still feel the sheer terror of all this?" she asked, and Claire hugged her friend, just as Aaron began whining. She immediately hopped up to lift him into her arms, and asked Kate if she would get the bottle from the baby bag. Kate did as she was asked, and Claire sat down to feed her son.

"It's normal," she replied. "Jack's sick, and you love him."

"God…I love him so much," Kate breathed, just as the front door opened and Jack came rushing in, dressed in his work clothes. He was running later than usual, especially since he had plans to meet Charlie for dinner that night.

"Hey you," Kate greeted, standing to give him a hug and a kiss.

"Hey," he replied, and came to kiss Claire. "I'll be out of your way in a bit. I got stuck on a case that drug on forever, and I just finished ten minutes ago."

Kate shook her head as he rushed into the bedroom to change, and she turned to Claire with a small grin. After a short while they heard him sneeze loudly, and Kate jumped, glancing over her shoulder as it happened again.

"I hope he isn't getting sick," Claire whispered, and she bit her lip.

"Luckily that's the first time I've heard him sneeze," she began, worry once more etching into her thoughts. _The last thing Jack needs is to come down with a cold when his body is too weak to fight it off. _she shuddered a little, just as Aaron gave a small burp, and offered to take the baby from Claire after he was finished with his dinner.

Jack came back out five minutes later, and Kate touched his arm. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow with confusion. "You sneezed," she explained, and Jack gave a small laugh of understanding.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I'm fine. Just had a tickle." he kissed her again, and knelt down to greet Aaron, shaking the baby's tiny hand. Aaron gave him a big, slobbery grin, and squeaked, "Daaaah!"

Claire laughed at the expression on Jack's face, and waved as he stood up again, grabbing his coat. Kate hid her amusementl; even her husband's "casual" wear had a professional undertone. He wore a pair of jeans, along with a pine green polo t-shirt.

"Have fun," she said as he opened the door to the apartment. "Relax." she gave him a warning look, and he winked at her, before disappearing. When he was gone, Kate turned back to Aaron, who was watching the door for a moment, before she started tickling his tummy. Claire beamed as her son started squealing with giggles, and eventually offered to take him.

"There we go," she soothed, and Kate leaned back against the couch.

"Jack and I are trying to have a baby," she announced, and Claire grinned once she had Aaron settled comfortably on her lap.

"That's wonderful!" she exclaimed. "You two would make excellent parents. I could see Jack being a bit tough, though."

Kate smirked. "He does have a bit of trouble lightening up, but he'll be good. I decided to have Sawyer as the baby's godfather…I'm not sure why…it just feels right, you know?" she shrugged, and Claire nodded in understanding. She knew about the incident with Kate and Sawyer, though Jack seemed to be over it these days. She remembered how furious he was with the two of them after returning from the Other's camp. It took weeks before she could prove to him how she felt, and there was a lot of yelling and tears shed.

"How did Jack feel about that?" she asked.

"He seemed a little uncomfortable at first," Kate admitted, "but he trusts me. Claire…would you like to be the baby's godmother? I would ask Sun, but I don't see her as much, and you're the best friend I've got who's female."

Claire laughed, throwing her arms around her friend. "Of course," she replied. "I'd be honored." her stomach gave a loud rumble, and she blushed deep crimson. Kate suggested they order a pizza for dinner, because she really had no urge to cook.

"That would be great," Claire replied. "Can we get one with extra cheese and sausage? I'm so hungry I could eat a whole pizza."

Kate laughed as she picked up the telephone, and reached into the top drawer of the kitchen counter for the address book. She smiled when she glanced at Jack's messy handwriting; typical doctor scrawl, and could barely make out the phone number for the pizza shop.

"When you're pregnant you'll want to eat and eat and eat," Claire groaned. "And you get these really weird cravings, too."

Kate smirked. "Like pickles and peanut butter?" she asked, and Claire made a face.

"Like olives and orange juice. I did that the other day and freaked Charlie out."

Kate eventually dialed the number and ordered two large pizzas; one with sausage and cheese, and one plain. She knew whatever they didn't eat, Jack would finish if he felt all right. Once it arrived, the girls sat in front of the television and decided to turn on "Dirty Dancing" while they ate.

Kate enjoyed having a girl's night--well, minus Aaron who wanted to be fed halfway through dinner. She loved Jack with all of her heart, but sometimes she couldn't talk to him about certain things without feeling awkward.

Jack came home towards he end of the movie, and they only knew this when he sneezed loudly after opening the door quitely. Kate jumped, and Claire cringed as Aaron began whining in the crib where he now lay.

"Hey," Jack whispered, and pecked a kiss on Kate's cheek.

"You're early," she replied, checking her watch…it was only a little after 9...Jack had gone out around 6.

"I think I'm getting a cold," he admitted, and Kate raised an eyebrow. "My throat hurts, and my head's a little heavy."

Kate encouraged him to sit down next to her, but he looked a little uncomfortable. "I don't want to intrude," he replied, and she snapped her fingers, ordering him to the couch at once. Smirking, he did as he was told, slipping an arm around her waist. He waved to Claire who waved back, and then stretched slightly so Kate could rest her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well," she told him. "Did you and Charlie have a good time, anyway?"

Jack nodded. "We did have a good time. Did you girls have fun?"

Claire grinned. "Yep…we had a blast."

"Gossiped and ate pizza," Kate added. "There's leftover slices in the fridge for you if you're interested."

Jack leaned his chin on top of her head, rubbing her arms with his strong hands. "Thanks," he whispered, coughing a little. "Watching this for the millionth time?" he asked, and Kate poked him in the gut.

"Shhhhsh!" she hissed, and Claire hugged her knees to her chest, fiddling with her watch. Jack and Kate were so cute together when they cuddled; she missed Charlie, even though she'd spent most of her free time with him.

When the movie ended, Claire whispered that she should get home, for Aaron was exhausted. Jack was coughing a bit more himself, so Kate ordered him straight to bed once the lights were back on.

"Feel better," Claire called, and Jack nodded his thanks, heading into the bedroom.

"Call me if you need anything," Claire said, holding Aaron tightly to her breast, and Kate gave her a hug.

"Text me when you get home," she ordered, and Claire promised to do so. After leaving, Kate went into the kitchen to fix a cup of tea for herself and Jack. When she brought it to him, she saw that he was under the covers already, reading one of the books that sat on top of the nightstand.

"You are so typical," she laughed after she handed him the mug, and he blinked with confusion.

"Huh?" he asked, his voice a bit hoarse, and he took a sip of the tea once it cooled a little.

"How long have you felt like this, Jack?" Kate folded her arms, giving him a stern look. He set the mug on the table, and then the book followed.

"Maybe two days ago or so?" he asked. "I didn't think it was anything, Kate. When you're nauseous most of the time, something like a cold doesn't make a big impact."

Kate felt his forehead. "Yeah, but I still want you to tell me these things," she begged. "Especially with how weak your body probably is. You might have trouble shaking off the small stuff, you know?"

Jack blew out his breath, bundling his feet in the quilt. "I'll be okay," he insisted, squeezing her hand before sneezing again, and Kate handed him the box of tissues. "Thanks." he rolled his eyes after blowing his nose, and Kate clucked her tongue.

"So what did you and Charlie do tonight?" she asked. "For the two hours and forty minutes you were out?"

Jack smirked. "We went to the sports bar that's about five minutes from here…Jason's?"

Kate nodded. "I know where that is. Was it crowded?"

Jack shook his head. "Not too bad. Charlie told me his career is really taking off…he's been asked to create his first album after he sung a few of the songs he wrote for the producer who was in charge of Drive Shaft."

Kate beamed. "That's great," she exclaimed. "Does he have any idea of when the album's going to be released?"

Jack shrugged. "He wasn't positive," he replied. "Maybe by the end of the summer?"

Kate sighed dreamily…she'd been surprised to find out who Charlie was on the island. She knew of Drive Shaft, because a friend of hers from the past had an obsession with the band.

"Can you imagine if he starts having live concerts?" she asked, and Jack chuckled softly, taking another sip of his tea. She frowned when he cringed after he swallowed, and kissed his cheek.

"We'll probably get the front row," she continued, and he squeezed her hand.

"Mosh pit?" he asked, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Lighten up," she teased, pretending to slap his chest.

"Claire's doing some of the vocals for the album," he continued, and Kate's eyes widened.

"What?" she cried. "She didn't tell me!"

Jack held up his hands. "Charlie didn't tell her yet," he laughed. "he's heard her sing before, and he wants her to be part of the album. He's supposed to tell her tonight."

Kate covered her mouth with her hands, and bounced with excitement. When the bed jolted, Jack gasped, and Kate quickly stopped, apologizing.

"Sorry," he whispered, and she bit her lip. "I have a headache."

Kate suggested they go to bed, and she flipped off the light, snuggling down under the covers with him. She was glad the port-a-cath was on the other side, so she could cuddle as close to him as she wanted. She was pleased when Jack snuggled against the crook in her neck; usually it was the other way around. She rubbed his back, closing her eyes in the meantime.

Unfortunately, he kept her up all night coughing and sneezing repeatedly; she had to drag herself out of bed to get some medicine from the bathroom. When he woke up in the morning, he encouraged her to take the day off from work.

"Wha?" she asked, rubbing her eyes, and realized the alarm had gone off.

"You deserve a break," he added, and she stared stupidly at him.

"Why?" she asked, and he smiled at her. He was still stuffed up, but he looked a lot better in general.

"Because you didn't get to sleep until almost three," he replied. "taking care of me all night."

Kate sighed, fiddling with the edge of the quilt. "I wanted to," she replied, and he kissed her forehead.

"I know," he said. "but I want you to catch up on sleep. Just this once, okay?"

Kate nodded, sitting up so she could hug him. "Are you sure you're okay to work?" she asked, and he glanced up at the ceiling for a moment.

"I have to be," he whispered, and she kissed him. "I can't take anymore time off." he struggled to climb down, and Kate reached for the phone so she could call the resturaunt and say she was too sick to come in. She heard Jack coughing, and shook her head, eventually hanging up once her boss told her to take it easy and that she'd see her the next day.

"Do you need the medicine again?" Kate called, and he peeped his head through the door.

"Hmmm?" he asked, shrugging into his jacket, and Kate smirked.

"Do you need your cough medicine? I can give you a dose."

"Probably should," he replied, rubbing his nose, and Kate encouraged him to come into the bedroom real quick. "I've got it. Thanks." he took a spoonful, grimacing, and Kate bit back a giggle.

"Doctor's are total hypocrites," she teased, and he raised an eyebrow once the bottle was back in the medicine chest.

"Oh?" he asked, and she laughed.

"It's so easy for doctor's to fix other people, but they're nightmares when it comes to fixing themselves."

It was Jack's turn to laugh, and Kate loved that sound. It wasn't too common, either, which is why she loved it so much.

"Thanks, sweetheart," he replied, and she gave him a loveable smile. "I love you." he sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep, mmmm?"

Kate nodded, snuggling back down against the pillows, and waved as he headed out of the bedroom. She sighed contentedly, pulling the blankets back up to her shoulders, and closed her eyes. She slept until noon, and decided to go food shopping, realizing how bare their cabinets were.

Then she took a walk to the beach, standing by the surf and letting her feet sink in the sand as she did on the island. _ "Wow, this is a surprise," Jack announced, coming up to her. "You're standing still." _

_Kate looked at him with amusement. "Not true. I am doing something," she told Jack with a small smile on her face, and he raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" he asked, and she pointed downwards. "I'm sinking." _

She smiled as she squished her toes in the sand, gasping when a bitter cold wave washed over them. The salt air brushed through her hair, ruffling her t-shirt, and she stretched her arms over her head, doing a little dance.

When she got home, she unloaded all of the grocery bags, and decided to take out the exercise ball she'd gotten for herself on sale at the mall. Jack came home later that evening, while she was in the middle of laying on her back on the ball, and he raised an eyebrow as she greeted him upside down.

"Hi," she laughed, and he cocked his head to one side.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and she sat up, yelping when she slipped off the ball and to the floor, watching as it bounced towards him.

"Attempting to exercise," she replied. "How's your cold?"

Jack sat down on the couch after hanging his jacket up in the coat closet, and lay down. "I had to go and get some Sudafed halfway through my shift," he replied, and Kate stood after she finished stretching, and took his hand.

"You're a little warm," she sighed, and he looked at her wearily.

"Did you do anything interesting?" he asked as she placed the back of her hand against his forehead.

"I went to the beach," she replied. "and did some food shopping. Not a whole lot, but it felt great to sleep in until noon."

"Mmmm." he smiled, and she knelt down, resting her head against his chest.

"Thank you," she breathed. "I really did need the day off."

He tugged her hair. "Told you so," he croaked, and she smirked. "Kate?" he whispered after a few minutes, and she took his hand again, smoothing his hair.

"Yeah?" she asked, and he looked at her.

"Can you do something for me?" he asked, and she nodded. "I want you to make me a promise."

Kate felt her throat choking up, and pressed his hand to her cheek. "Jack, don't talk like that," She begged, and he smiled.

"I'm serious, Kate. Neither of us knows how this is going to work out…the chemotherapy. If something…if something happens to me, I want you to promise that you'll always go to the beach whenever you're feeling alone or scared. It's always been our place."

Kate sniffed, fighting tears. "I will," she replied. "Jack, I won't let you die. Not after it took me this long to keep you."

Jack touched her cheek, and struggled to sit up again. "I just want you to be prepared, Kate," he said, and she nodded in understanding. He saw how upset she still was a few moments later, and pulled her into a tight hug. Kate sobbed against his shoulder, feeling rather stupid.

"I'm feeling so helpless, Jack," she admitted, and he squeezed her arm. "I can't do anything to help you when you're sick or hurting."

He kissed her. "You're doing what you can," he replied. "You're here for me when I need you. That's more than enough."

She lowered her head, and he lifted her chin so she could gaze into his eyes. "No matter what happens, Kate," he continued, "I will love you always."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around him again.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kate went with Claire to her follow up appointment the following Wednesday, relieved to be going to the hospital for good news. Jack wasn't feeling well at all that week, and he was in bed when Claire came to meet Kate at their apartment.

"Are you sure you want to come with me?" Claire asked after Kate checked on him one more time before leaving, and she nodded. Jack had woken up when she touched his shoulder, and insisted he would be fine without her. He whispered weakly that he loved her, and accepted a small kiss on the lips.

"He said I need to get out and get some fresh air," she replied, and Claire smiled, leading the way out the door. It was another gorgeous afternoon with a cloudless sky, and Kate couldn't help but feel mocked; Jack was so sick, and outside the apartment, everyone was going about their own business as usual.

Claire got into the passenger seat of Kate's car, setting her small purse on the floor by her feet.

"So how exactly is he doing?" she asked after a few moments of silence, and Kate wet her lips. "Has he been throwing up at all?"

"Yeah," Kate sighed. "He also was running a fever last night, which luckily broke this morning, but he still took off from work."

Claire nodded in understanding. "And you?" she cocked her head to one side. "How are you?"

Kate pulled to a stop at a red light, and glanced at her friend. "I'm trying to hang in there," she admitted. "It's so hard when he goes through these spells."

Claire bit her lip; it was clear Jack was getting weaker every time she saw him. He tried to hide how bad he was feeling around his friends, but he wasn't very good at it.

"I can imagine," she agreed. "Well, Charlie and I are willing to take over for you if you want. You can sleep over our place one night or something…I'm sure Charlie mentioned this to you before."

Kate nodded. "He did," she replied. "but no matter how hard it gets, I feel like I have to be with Jack. I just…I don't understand why this has to happen," she choked. "Why? It took us so long to fall in love, and if I loose him, I don't know what I'm going to do."

Claire touched her friend's shoulder as they drew closer to the hospital. "He's going to be okay," she promised, and they pulled into the hospital's parking lot. Kate willed herself to perk up, because they were about to hear news of the new baby.

Claire walked beside Kate as they entered the emergency room, and signed in with the receptionist. Dr. Myers took them in about a half hour later, and was pleased to hear Kate's relationship to Jack.

"That's good news," he said, shaking her hand. "I was always good friends with Jack and his father…he was the chief of surgery here before he was let go."

Kate and Claire glanced at each other. "Let go?" Claire asked, and Dr. Myer checked her blood pressure, which turned out to be normal.

"He was under the influence of alcohol during an operation, and when the truth came out, it was a bit ugly. But when we're done, I can show you his picture on the wall…he was still very well respected in his earlier years at the hospital."

Kate nodded; she'd always been curious about Jack's parents, for he never spoke about them once they left the island. Only that he and his father rarely got along, and that Mr. Shepard Sr. died shortly before Jack caught the Oceanic 815 to LA from Sydney.

"How often does Claire have to go for ultrasounds?" Kate asked once her best friend was laying on a cot, being hooked up to a small machine.

"Every couple of months following this first visit," Dr. Myers replied, and he began gently rubbing two black devices over Claire's bare stomach. Kate watched the television monitor, and felt her heart skip a beat…there was a small version of a human being, half the size of a football, growing inside.

"The fetus seems to be just fine," Dr. Myers announced, and Claire laughed happily. "You said you had another child, yes?" he added, and she nodded.

"I have a son, Aaron. He's going to be two years old at the end of the month."

Dr. Myers congratulated her, and said that because she'd been pregnant before, she knew the rules of the trade. "My friend here is trying to have a baby herself," Claire announced, touching Kate's arm, and Kate blushed furiously.

"That's wonderful," he replied. "How long ago did you have sex with your husband?"

"Before he started chemotherapy," Kate explained. "That would make it a week and a half. My period isn't due until next weekend at least, so I probably won't have any signs until then."

Dr Myers smiled at her. "Good luck with everything, Kate," he answered, and she nodded her thanks. "How is Jack feeling this week? I'm very sorry to hear about his diagnosis."

Kate folded her arms as they walked towards the destination where the employee photographs were located, and she closed her eyes for a moment. "He goes through different stages," she replied. "Some days he really does feel pretty well, and days like today he's sick as a dog. He also gets sporadic fevers, which luckily aren't very high, but they drain him pretty badly."

Dr. Myers frowned. "He had cancer before, didn't he?" he asked, and Kate nodded.

"Yeah…about three years ago, I think."

Claire glanced at her with a sympathetic smile, and at last Dr. Myers told them to stop. He pointed to a wall covered with framed photographs; some were black and white and others were in color.

"This is Jack's father," Dr. Myers explained, pointing to a picture of a very grim looking man with dark hair. His features were much sharper than Jack's, and Kate understood a little more why Jack was so reluctant to talk about his father.

"Oh my God," Claire squeaked from beside her, and Kate turned.

"Claire?" she asked, and shortly afterwards, her friend slipped to the ground, unconscious. "Claire, honey?" she and Dr. Myers both knelt down beside the younger woman, and Kate tapped Claire's cheeks.

"Let's get her up onto the couch," Dr. Myers ordered, and Kate helped him lift her. Claire didn't wake up again until water was sprinkled on her face, and it took a few moments of shocked gasps to actually calm down.

"Shhhsh," Kate soothed, smoothing her friend's hair, and Claire blinked her light blue eyes, unsure of what was going on.

"Whahappened?" she asked, and Dr. Myers looked at her seriously.

"You fainted," he explained. "are you all right?"

"I fainted?" Claire let out a small groan as she tried to sit up, clasping a hand to her forehead.

"You saw a picture of Jack's father and you passed out," Kate added, and Claire blinked.

"Oh Jesus," she breathed, rubbing her eyes, and when her mind was a little less fuzzy, she clutched Kate's arm. "Can I talk to you in private?" she asked, and Dr. Myer allowed this, walking away a short while later.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked, and Claire swallowed.

"I know that man," she whispered. "Jack's father. It's going to sound really crazy, Kate, and I don't know how to tell you this…"

Kate was more confused than ever, and offered to get Claire something to drink.

"No, I'm okay," Claire insisted. "That man is my father."

Kate's eyes widened…had she heard Claire correctly? How could that be possible; Jack would have known if he had a sibling, she was certain.

"You're joking," she breathed, and Claire shook her head quickly.

"I'm not, I swear to God," she insisted. "Remember how I told you about my Mum dying after a car crash?" she asked, and Kate nodded in understanding, sitting down on the couch, and encouraging Claire to take it easy. "Well, she was in a hospital in Sydney--obviously, you can tell by my accent that I'm from Australia," she laughed quietly. "anyway, her bills were being paid for, and this random guy shows up at the hospital one day visiting her. I'd never seen him before in my life, and supposedly he was a well-respected surgeon in the states."

Kate nodded, unsure of where Claire was going with this. "He tells me he's my father, which seems pretty unbelievable, considering I've been told my entire life my father was dead," Claire continued, tears filling her eyes. "He said he and my mother had a major falling out shortly after I was born, and she kicked him out of the house. She never wanted me to have anything to do with him, and I was furious that he even had the nerve to come back and try to make things right with me. I didn't want to know his name, so that's why I had no idea about Jack. He mentioned being re-married again and having a son, but at the time, I really didn't care."

Kate hugged Claire, feeling her heart pounding. This was unbelievable…Claire was Jack's half-sister! They were on the same island for three full months, and they had absolutely no idea.

"Jesus Christ," Kate breathed, and Claire nodded, just as Dr. Myers came and handed each of them a cup of tea. "thanks," she said, and he sat down, asking if everything was all right. Claire looked at Kate as though warning her not to say anything, and Kate smiled at him weakly.

"Yeah," she replied. "Everything's fine, thanks."

"Just overexcitement," Claire admitted, massaging her forehead before sipping from the tea. "Thank you."

"Well, I'll schedule you an appointment for three months from now, then," Dr. Myers continued. "Kate, do you know when Jack is returning to work?"

Kate shook her head. "He's hoping soon," she answered. "but he can barely get out of bed right now."

"Well, tell him to take it easy. I'm sure he has more than enough sick and vacation time to use up."

Kate nodded, wanting desparately to get home to him, knowing that he needed her. "Thank you," she whispered, and Claire swallowed, standing up slowly, and allowing Kate to support her. Once outside, Claire turned to Kate, her eyes very serious.

"I don't want you to tell him about me yet," she said, and when Kate started to protest, Claire took her friend by the shoulders.

"Jack needs to focus on getting well," she continued. "If he knows, he'll only have someone else to worry about, especially with me being pregnant and all. He needs to get better, so he can be there for you when you have your baby."

Kate bit her lip…she hadn't kept a secret from Jack since he found out about her and Sawyer, and it made her heart ache to think about doing this.

"Please?" Claire asked, and Kate finally nodded.

"I won't," she promised, and Claire sighed with relief. "But you really should think about telling him. Especially if…" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, and Claire understood.

"When the time is right, I will tell him," she insisted. "It just isn't now."

They got into the car, and were pretty quiet the rest of the ride back to Kate's apartment. Claire didn't go up with her, and let her know to call if she needed anything.

"Make sure you text me when you get home," Kate ordered, and Claire smiled, nodding.

"I will," she insisted. "Tell Jack I hope he feels better."

Kate waved as Claire headed to her own car, and then made her way into the apartment building. When she reached home, she found Jack laying on the living room couch, wrapped in a spare blanket and watching television. Kate frowned at how pale his skin appeared, and the dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey," she greeted, and he struggled to look at her, smiling faintly.

"Hey," he whispered, and she came to feel his forehead. "You still have a fever," she sighed, and he cleared his throat.

"How did the appointment go?" he asked, and she went into the kitchen to prepare a damp wash cloth. When she came back, she moved the footstool from the chair by the corner to the side of the couch, and began to blot his cheeks.

"Fine," Kate replied, though the urge to tell Jack the news she'd discovered was bursting inside of her. "How long have you been out of bed?"

Jack sniffed, shivering a little, and pulling the blanket to his chin. "About a half hour," he replied. "I had to get sick again not long after you left with Claire, and I wanted to be closer to the bathroom just in case."

Kate nodded, pressing his hand to her lips. "Dr. Myers took care of her at the appointment," she explained, and Jack nodded as Kate lay the cool cloth over his forehead.

"How is he doing?" he asked, and she smiled.

"He's all right…he was asking about you."

Jack swallowed. "I feel terrible, Kate," he croaked, and she burried her face against his chest, gripping his arm.

"I know, sweetie," she replied. "I know."

He sighed. "Sawyer called to check up on you," he added, and Kate bit her lip. "I obviously couldn't answer the phone, but I heard the answering machine."

Kate nodded, and suggested she get the thermometer. Jack lay patiently waiting for her; the lights from the television set were giving him a headache. When she came back, he accepted the thermometer under his tongue, and they waited a minute or two before it beeped.

"One hundred and two," she sighed. "Jack, did you have fevers like this the first time you had chemo?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah. Off and on." he coughed. "I missed you."

Kate smiled faintly, and kissed his cheek. "I wasn't gone that long," she chuckled, and he touched her hand. Suddenly he turned a light shade of green, and Kate immediately helped him off of the couch and rushed with him into the bathroom. She knelt down beside him as he began to throw up again, rubbing his back in gentle circles. It was mostly dry heaves now, because he hadn't eaten much at all for the past day or so.

"Oh my God," Jack breathed when he finally stopped, and leaned against Kate, taking deep breaths.

"Shhhsh," Kate soothed, stroking the back of his head. "You need to be in bed."

Jack looked at her wearily, and when Kate stood to help him, he gripped her hand.

"Don't leave me," he begged, and she knelt down again, taking his hands and squeezing them.

"I'm not leaving you," she promised. "I'm going to bring you to bed. Here, honey." she slid an arm around his waist, and eased him to his feet. Jack clung to her for support, struggling to make it back to the bedroom. "There we go," she soothed once he was under the covers again, and she shook her head.

"Kate?" Jack whispered, once she was sure he was tucked in properly, and she sat down on the side of the bed. "Can you stay with me?" 

She nodded, smoothing his forehead. He was just like a child when he was sick, and she secretly loved babying him. On the island, Jack rarely displayed his vulnerable side to any of the other castaways, for they looked up to him as a leader figure. He only showed his sensitivity to Kate, and it was the same way now.

She sat watching him sleep for quite a while, a single tear dripping down her cheek. When the telephone rang about a half hour into his doze, she gritted her teeth, grateful when he only shifted positions, making a small noise. She quietly stood so she could go and answer the phone, using the portable one in the kitchen, and realized Sawyer was on the other end.

"Hey, Freckles," he greeted, and she bit her lip, sitting down on the couch. "Everything okay?"

She choked on a sob, burrying her face in her hand.

"Hey, hey," he broke in. "What's wrong? Is it Jack?"

"He's having a really bad week with the chemo," she sobbed. "He's been throwing up all day…I finally got him to sleep when you called."

Sawyer cringed. "Sorry," he apologized. "When I hadn't heard from you in a bit, I wanted to make sure you were all right. Do you want me to come over?" he asked, and Kate glanced over her shoulder towards the bedroom door, glad she didn't hear anything from Jack at the moment.

"No," she replied. "Jack needs peace and quiet." She was quite certain that bringing Sawyer over when Jack was at his worst wasn't the best solution. "But thanks. How's it going with you?" she heard Jack sneeze loudly from the bedroom, and went to peek in on him.

"Goin' pretty good. I uh…was wondering if you and Jack wanted to go out sometime, when he's feelin' better that is."

Kate smiled to herself, glad he included Jack with his invite.

"Sure," she replied. "I'll have to take you up on that. I'm sure Jack'll want to go."

There was another awkward pause. "Cool. Well, just you know…callin' to check in, but you're obviously fine, so…I'll catch you later?"

Kate nodded. "See you later, Sawyer," she replied, and hung up, gazing at the phone for a few moments. When she went back into the bedroom, she saw Jack sleeping again, and folded her arms. More tears fell down her cheeks as she sat watching him, and she covered her face with her hand. Jack seemed to hear her quiet sobs, and he woke up, turning towards her.

"Hey," he whispered, reaching for her hand. "Kate, it's okay."

Kate shook her head, and Jack encouraged her to lay down with him. She wrapped an arm around his middle, cuddling against the crook of his neck. He turned his face towards her, pressing his lips to her forehead. _Claire's Jack's half-sister…_she thought as he held her close, and she could hear the beating of his heart. _How can I just lay here and not tell him? But she's right…with how sick he is, he'll only get worse if he knows. _

She hated crying in front of him, but couldn't help it.

"Did Sawyer say something to you?" he asked after a few moments of silence, and Kate stared at him.

"What?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Kate?" he asked, and she touched his cheek.

"I'm just scared, Jack," she admitted. "Seeing you like this kills me."

He nodded. "I know. And I'm so proud of you, Kate…I know how much this sucks, trust me."

Kate gave a half-laugh, half-sob, and hugged him tighter. "Sawyer wanted to know if we wanted to go out with him," she whispered, and Jack gave her an amused look. "Later of course, when you're actually able to get out of bed," she corrected, and he smiled.

"I'm surprised he asked me," he replied, and Kate slapped him jokingly on the shoulder.

"Of course he asked you," she retorted, and Jack let out a small groan. "What is it?" she asked, and he closed his eyes.

"Nothing," he replied. "I just have a headache."

Kate checked his temperature again, which was luckily not as high as before. "Just close your eyes and get some rest," she encouraged, and he did as he was told, adjusting his position so he was more comfortable. Kate bit her lip as she listened to his breathing slow, and she whispered that she loved him into his ear. Her only reponse was a small smile creeping over his lips, and she smiled back.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Kate was relieved when Jack returned back to normal over the weekend. Well, as normal as one could be with cancer. He went to the office and brought his charts home, to catch up due to the fact that he missed Thursday and Friday. Kate busied herself about the apartment, cleaning up, and was ready whenever he asked for anything.

His face was still pretty pale, she noticed, once he took a break and joined her outside on the patio. The weather was beautiful as usual, though it cooled off considerably. She wanted to sit on his lap as they did in the old days, but knew the port-a-cath would get in the way. They sat next to each other, though, and her fingers were laced through his. He smiled at her after a moment, squeezing her hand, and she sighed contentedly.

"I love just sitting here," she finally spoke. "Isn't it beautiful? Just looking out over the city, and seeing the ocean in the distance. I can't believe I didn't think of moving here sooner."

Jack laughed, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. "You never thought about settling down anywhere," he teased, and she stuck out her tongue. He cleared his throat, and she immediately offered to get him a glass of water.

"Kate, I'm fine," he promised. "You don't have to keep jumping up every five seconds."

She fiddled with her wrist watch, and lowered her head. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I don't want to take any chances."

He gave a small shiver, and she felt her heart skip a beat. "I think I might want to go in, soon," he whispered. "I'm getting a little cold."

Kate felt his forehead, relieved when he didn't have a fever, and stood to help him to his feet. He cringed as he put weight on his bad leg, and after a moment or two, was able to walk normally into the house. Kate insisted he lay down on the couch, and asked if she could check his knee. Jack finally gave up trying to tell her to relax, and let her roll up his pant leg.

"Looks okay," she said. "Do you want some ice for it?"

Jack smirked, agreeing, and she went into the kitchen to get a pack from the freezer. "You ought to get a job at the hospital," he called, and Kate rolled her eyes as she came back to place the ice pack over his knee.

"I can't help it," she explained. "Jack, you were so sick this weekend, and you begged me not to leave you at one point. I…" he touched her lips, gazing at her lovingly.

"I know you won't," he insisted. "Kate, I'm so proud of you at how you're handling things. It's hard to believe I've only been on chemo for two weeks."

Kate looked up at the ceiling, holding onto Jack's hand, and blew out her breath. "Sixteen more to go," she groaned, and he encouraged her to lay down on top of him. She did just that, allowing him to stroke her hair. Silence was all they needed at this point…Kate just wanted to hear him breathing normally, and listen to his heartbeat. "I just thought of something," she added after a while, and she struggled to sit up. "If we do end up having a baby, we should probably get a bigger apartment. I mean, I like this one, but I don't think it's a great place for a kid to grow up. Kids need space."

Jack nodded in understanding, and bit his lip. "Well," he began, "what would you think about looking for a house?" he asked, and Kate's eyes widened.

"A house? Are you serious?" she gasped, and he grinned.

"I've been giving it a bit of thought myself when I'm not in bed and miserable," he chuckled, and Kate swallowed.

"Jack, we can't possibly start thinking about that now…not with your being sick. It would be too much stress."

Jack kissed her forehead. "Well, of course when I start to get better," he replied. "We wouldn't move far. I know you like this area, so we'd probably find something not too far from the beach. Believe me, between both of our savings, we could easily afford it."

Kate felt tears filling her eyes, and had to close them to avoid crying. "Have you ever lived in a house before?" she asked. "Besides the one you grew up in."

Jack shook his head, touching her cheek with his fingertips. "Nope. Sara and I lived in an apartment," he replied. "It was a bit bigger than this one, and I was considering taking it again once we got back from the island. But I couldn't bring us there, not with all of that emotional baggage."

Kate understood, and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him fiercely on the lips. "I love you so much," she choked, and he let her continue to hug him, burrying her face against his shoulder. Jack suddenly sneezed, and Kate jumped, shaking her head.

"You might be allergic to something," she said, and he looked at her.

"It's that time of year," he admitted, and she offered him the box of tissues again. "That, and I'm still getting over that cold I had last week."

Kate kissed his forehead. "Geeze," she groaned. "It's going to be weird going back to work tomorrow."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "For you?" he asked after blowing his nose, and Kate snorted.

"True," she admitted. "I'm lucky my schedule worked out so I could help you this weekend. Are you sure you're ready to go back?" she added, and he nodded.

"I have to be," he replied. "I think going to work is a good distraction. I think the more time I spend here at home the weaker I get." Kate kissed him once again. "It's a lot easier than before, when I had my Dad on my ass twenty four seven."

Kate rubbed his back; she still hadn't told him about Claire, because she'd made a promise to her friend not to do so. It killed her to keep this big of a secret from her husband, and thought he had a right to know.

"I just don't want you killing yourself," she said, and he hugged her.

"You need to stop worrying," he begged. "Kate, I appreciate how much you're doing for me, but it's going to wear you out sooner or later. Take it easy, huh?"

Kate bit her lip, nodding at last. "I'll try, Jack."

He paused to sneeze a second time, just as the phone rang, and she forced herself up from the couch to answer it. She discovered Sawyer was on the other end, and felt bad that she hadn't been keeping in touch recently.

"Long time no chat, freckles," Sawyer began once she said hello.

"Sorry," Kate replied. "Jack hasn't been doing well this weekend. I've been a bit distracted."

Sawyer cursed under his breath, and Kate watched as Jack got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen.

"You sound exhausted," he admitted, and Kate blushed.

"I am," she admitted, and desparately wished she could take a vacation. When Jack was at his worst, she found herself almost missing the simplicity of island life, despite the constant fear of attack from the Others. _Besides, Jack was well there, _she thought.

"We should go out and have a drink sometime this week," Sawyer suggested. "Did you tell Jack I wanted to get the three of us together one night?"

Kate nodded to herself. "I did," she replied. "He seems fine with that, but I don't think it's going to be for a bit. He's still coming back to his usual self."

Sawyer understood, and Kate hated how awkward their converstations still were over the phone. She smiled gently when Jack returned, wrapping his arms around her waist, and leaning his chin against her shoulder. She strained her neck to kiss him lightly, and he swayed back and forth with her, his hands moving to her stomach.

"That sounds cool," Sawyer answered. "Well, I'm just calling to check up on you. Tell Dr. Giggles I hope he's hanging in there."

Kate fought a string of laughter as Jack began to kiss her neck, and gave him a warning look.

"All right, I will. See you, Sawyer." She finally hung up, tossing the phone onto the couch, and turned so she could hug him properly. "You are so bad," she laughed, and Jack gave her a mischievous smile as he kissed her lips.

"What did Sawyer want this time?" he asked, and she took his hands, squeezing them firmly.

"Just to check in on us. He wanted to know if we were on for getting together soon…I said you might need some time to get back together."

Jack nodded, breathing her in. Kate closed her eyes, taking in the feel of his gentle touch. She didn't know what she would do if she didn't have this to look forward to every day; she scolded herself on even thinking about the possibility of loosing him.

"We should watch a movie or something to relax," she suggested after a few moments of gentle making out, and Jack peered at her closely.

"Like what?" he asked, and she led him to the couch.

"We havent watched 'GHOST' in a while," she replied, and he watched as she went their DVD stand to find it.

"That's a bit depressing, don't you think?" he asked when she produced the movie, and she raised an eyebrow.

"It's romantic," she corrected.

"Sometimes I wonder if you'd go after Patrick Swayze given the chance instead of me," he teased, once she put the DVD into their player, and she put her hands on her hips.

"Jack Shepard, that is the dumbest idea you've ever come up with," she replied, and he shrugged.

"I'm just saying," he insisted, and she grabbed the remote, plopping down onto the couch with him. "You and Claire both seem to have the hots for him. I should warn Charlie, too," he added with a mischievous grin, and she slapped his shoulder gently.

"You're being crazy," she laughed. "You know I love you more than anybody. Patrick is just good eye candy." she winked, and he shook his head, gently putting her into a headlock, which caused her to shriek with laughter. She tickled him enough to get him to loosen his grip, just as she pushed play on the remote control. While they sat watching the film, Jack put his arm around her, and she was amused to see tears in his eyes halfway through.

"Subconsciously, Jack, I think you love these movies just as much as I do," she giggled, and he snickered.

"You need to take up pottery," he whispered. "I swear, that scene is really sexy."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Shut up, Jack," she laughed, and he shrugged innocently.

"I'm just trying to be creative," he replied, and she gave him a look.

"You're just being weird," she added, and he kissed her forehead. When the movie was over, it was getting late, and Kate suggested they go to bed rather early. Jack desparately needed one night of undisturbed rest, which was hard to come by these days. She went to get ready in the bathroom; Jack joined her, and the two of them stood brushing their teeth.

"Don't you have another appointment for the chemo this week?" Kate asked. "I thought Dr. Olina wanted to see you after a few weeks to check the dose."

Jack looked at her, unable to respond because he had his toothbrush in his mouth. Once he was able to talk again, he nodded.

"Every three weeks," he corrected. "They'll do x-rays to see if it needs to be raised."

Kate closed her eyes; the current dose of chemo was bad enough. "Do you think you're adjusting to this?" she asked once the two of them were laying in bed, darkness clouding the room after the lights were turned off. Jack looked at her, his eyes shining in the moonlight.

"I think the worst of the attacks are over," he replied. "If things are going well, she'll keep the dose as it is."

Kate blew out her breath. "This is scaring me so much," she admitted, and he pressed his forehead against hers.

"It's going to be fine, Kate," he promised.

"You can't promise me that, Jack," she replied. "But I've been praying every day that you'll get through this. And that's saying something, considering I haven't been much of a prayer."

Jack chuckled. "These types of situations change people," he replied, and she snuggled closer to him. "I love you."

She nodded, touching his chest with her fingers. "Love you, too," she replied, before he snuggled down against the pillows, taking a deep breath before settling.

Work the following day was very busy as usual for Kate, but for once, she was grateful for the distraction. She had the pleasure of serving a family with an adorable little girl, who made her a picture using the back of her paper placemat.

"Thank you," Kate laughed once she was given the drawing, and the little girl beamed, showing off a missing front tooth. The more Kate interacted with children, the more desparately she wanted one of her own. She kept waiting for some sign that she was pregnant; but didn't feel any different than usual.

However, she received a surprise halfway through her shift…Sun called and said she was in the area. The Korean woman's accent was still thick, but her English was now fluent. Even her husband, Jin, was starting to learn it quite well, but it was a bit more difficult.

"Come over when I get off work!" Kate cried. Sun and Jin lived in New York City, and were taking a vacation in California.

"I will," Sun replied. "Shall I meet you at your resturaunt or your apartment?"

Kate checked her watch; she still had a few hours left before she was able to go home.

"How about at the resturaunt? It's called The Palace, and it's on Sunset Boulevard."

"See you soon!" Sun answered, and after Kate hung up, she found herself beaming. She hadn't seen the two of them in ages…not since the wedding. She realized she would have to tell her friend about Jack's illness, and wasn't looking forward to doing that again. She called Jack after hanging up with Sun, and let him know of the plans, just so he wouldn't get too big of a surprise when he came home.

Jack's voice mail came on, which didn't surprise her, so she left him a message. "I love you," she finished, and shoved the cell phone into her pocket. Of course, this news made it more difficult to finish her shift, but luckily the crowds thinned to the point that she was allowed to leave a little early. She waited outside for her friends, and Sun practically leapt out of the car before it pulled to a stop once they caught sight of each other. Jin looked thoroughly embarrassed as the two women began squealing and jumping up and down, throwing their arms around each other.

"Jin!" Sun called, and he looked at her sternly, his mouth set in its usual grim line. She continued her request for him to get out of the car in Korean, and he muttered something under his breath before complying.

"You have to tell me everything," Sun laughed. "I feel like I haven't seen you forever."

Kate shook Jin's hand; even though he was a bit friendlier with them since the first week or so on the island, it was still stiff and awkward.

"Well, I have a mixture of good news and bad news," Kate explained as they prepared to go to the apartment. "hey, who has the baby?" she asked, and Sun looked at Jin…she'd had a child shortly after being rescued, a baby boy, Dong-sun (East integrity).

"Dong is staying with a friend of mine for the week," she replied. "I would have brought him, but she insisted Jin and I take that honeymoon we'd been looking forward to for so long." Sun replied, and Kate smirked, insisting they go to the apartment and sit in the air conditioning. Once she pulled her car out of the employee parking lot, Kate led the way, watching in the rearview mirror as Jin and Sun talked back in forth. When they arrived at the apartmen, Jack was just pulling in, and he stood beaming as the three of them got out, and Sun was startled by how weak and tired Jack appeared. He also lost a little weight after being sick from the chemo for the past few weeks.

"Are you all right?" she asked after giving him a hug. "You look like you aren't feeling well. Perhaps another night?"

Jack looked at Kate, who raised her eyes, and he shook his head. "No, I'll be all right," he insisted. "Let's get to our place and we'll talk."

Sun still looked worried and confused, but did as she was told, answering questions about Dong when Jack asked. "He's doing very well," she replied once he inquired, and explained that he was too little for a big trip like this. However, this was the only time she and Jin had off from work in a while, and needed a vacation.

Once inside, Jack offered each of them drinks, and Kate helped make and bring out the glasses.

"So what's going on?" Sun asked, thanking him for her glass, and taking a sip.

"Jack's sick," she replied, and Jin raised an eyebrow.

"Wha?" he asked, and Jack cleared his throat, sitting down on the couch.

"I have cancer," he explained, and Sun covered her mouth with her hand. "I just started chemotherapy treatments two weeks ago, so we're hoping I'll go into remission again."

"Again?" Sun asked, glancing at Jin, who still looked rather startled by the information. Kate held tightly onto Jack's hand, listening as he told their friends the situation about his knee, how he'd fallen a few years ago and after x-rays were taken, discovered he had cancer in the bone. He'd been well for a while; during their time on the island he never experienced any pain at all, and it was only until he and Kate went on their honeymoon that the knee began aching again.

"Do the doctors know if you're going to have a good chance of getting through this?" Sun asked, and Kate glanced at Jack, massaging the back of his head.

"We're hopeful, but there aren't any garuntees," he replied, and Sun swallowed hard.

"I'm so sorry," she breathed, and Jin expressed his sympathy as well.

"Thank you," Jack replied.

"You said there was good news, too?" Sun asked, and Kate looked at her.

"Claire is pregnant again," she announced, and Sun grinned.

"Wonderful!" she exclaimed. "That wasn't much time, was it?" she chuckled, and Jin gave a small smirk. "Are she and Charlie going to get married?"

Jack shook his head. "Not yet," he replied. "But it looks like they're going to move in that direction eventually." he leaned his head against Kate's shoulder, and she looked at Sun with a raised eyebrow.

"Long day?" she asked, feeling his forehead. "Jack…" she breathed. "You're burning up."

Sun immediately stood, and helped Kate ease Jack to his feet. "I'm sorry," she apologized as they brought him to the bedroom, and Jin followed behind them, peering through the doorway. He asked what was wrong in Korean, and Sun replied in English, rushing into the bathroom to get a wash cloth.

"Sweetheart?" Kate asked, and he looked at her, his eyes bright, and Sun handed her the wash cloth. She touched his forehead and cheeks with it, and glanced at Sun, who had her hands over her mouth.

"Should he go to the hospital?" she asked, and Kate shook her head.

"He's had fevers before, and he'll be fine in a few hours."

"We should go," Sun continued, and Kate frowned.

"Do you have a place to stay?" she asked, and Jin raised an eyebrow.

"Hotel," he replied, and Kate nodded.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, and Sun gave her a hug, promising she'd come by again before they left California. Jack let out a small groan, and Kate squeezed his hand, promising she'd be back in a few minutes. She went to bring Sun and Jin to the door, apologizing for cutting their meeting short.

"I hope Jack feels better," Sun replied. Kate waved as they left, and went back to Jack, who had fallen asleep. She felt his cheeks, which were still too warm for her liking, and he opened his eyes.

"Kate?" he asked, and she took his hand.

"I knew you shouldn't have gone to work today," she sighed. "you were just getting over being sick."

Jack reached up to touch her cheek, and he coughed, just as Kate went to find the thermometer. "Did you tell Sun and Jin I'm sorry?" he asked, when she came back, and she smiled, easing the device into his mouth.

"They know, honey," she replied, and took the thermometer out. "One hundred and two again. We should go to see Dr. Olina soon, because these fevers are getting dangerous."

Jack sighed. "I hate this, Kate," he choked, and she sat down, placing a hand on his thigh.

"I know you do," she replied. "I know." he gripped her hand, closing his eyes.

"I don't want to die, Kate," he whispered, and tears filled her eyes.

"You're not going to die," she promised. "Jack, you're going to be just fine, sweetheart. I'm going to give you some medicine for the fever, though." she went into the bathroom to get some ibuprofin, encouraging him to take it down with a glass of water.

"I want to be a father so badly," Jack continued, and Kate smiled at him.

"And you will be," she replied. "I love you, Jack, and I'm not going to let you go." she pressed her forehead against his. She hated feeling the heat radiating from his body, and immediately went to get another cloth to sponge him down. Jack slept while she did this, occasionally moving from side to side. Kate eventually grew exhausted herself, and made sure only to pull the sheet over Jack before getting into her own pajamas.

_God help us, _she thought, stroking his cheek once the lights were out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Jack improved over the weekend, but was still not feeling strong enough to go back to work on Monday. Kate, unfortunately, didn't have a choice and had to go to the resturaunt. She promised she would check on him while on her breaks, causing him to merely shake his head with a chuckle.

"Don't worry about me," he begged, and she bent down to kiss him passionately. She gave him a look of deep longing before waving goodbye, and he bundled beneath the blankets as soon as she left the apartment.

Jin and Sun came to visit Kate in _The Palace _around lunchtime, and sat in her section for a meal. Kate apologized again for having to cut their previous visit short, and Sun shook her head, her dark eyes twinkling.

"No worries," she promised. "Is Jack feeling better?"

She nodded, watching Jin as he read through the menu. "He's not one hundred percent yet, but he's getting there," she replied, and Sun sighed with relief as her friend began telling them the specials of the day.

"What you recommend?" Jin asked. His English was becoming more and more fluent over the months since they were rescued, but it was clear he was still having a bit of trouble figuring out what he wanted to say.

They eventually ordered a dish from the seafood section a piece, and Kate took the menu's, heading towards the kitchen to place the orders. She glanced over her shoulder, watching as the couple chatted quietly, and missed the days when she and Jack could just sit and enjoy each other's company without worrying.

The more she saw of Sun, she realized just how lucky they were to have the Korean woman still with them. It was on the island she discovered she was pregnant with Dong, and Juliet told her women who conceived their babies there never survived the second trimester. Claire was one of the few who survived giving birth on the island, because she'd conceived Aaron in Australia.

_It's appropriate, then, that Dong's name means Eastern Integrity, _Kate thought with a small smile as she took another platter of food to a table by the window. She went outside on her first break and called Jack, unable to go through the entire eight hours without hearing his voice.

"Hello?" she cringed when he answered hoarsely, and sat down on the bench in front of the main doors.

"Did you just wake up, sweetheart?" she asked, and Jack blinked his eyes, glancing at the clock beside the bed. It was only three; Kate still had another four hours to go of her shift. He'd been sleeping ever since she left, feeling weak and dizzy from the fever the previous night.

"Yeah…I haven't really woken up since you left." he coughed, reaching for the glass of water she'd left for him on the nightstand, and took a sip of it. "How's it going?"

"Sun and Jin are here," she replied. "They were asking about you."

He smiled to himself, still feeling guilty at having gotten sick on them; it had been more embarrassing than anything. "I'm doing fine, Kate," he insisted. "I love you." 

She felt her heart racing…Jack didn't even need to say the words for her to know how he felt, but she loved hearing them anyway. "I love you," she replied. "I'll be home soon."

After he said goodbye, she hung up, rubbing a hand over her face. She went back in just as Sun and Jin were leaving, and gave each of them a hug. "I'll give you a call to see if you want to get together again before we leave this weekend," Sun explained, and Kate nodded.

"Okay," she replied. "Did you guys like it?"

Jin nodded. "Excellent food. Thank you."

She beamed. "I'll let the cooks know. Talk to you soon," she added, waving as they left, and went back inside. The rest of the shift was steady, and she was grateful when the time came to come home and put her feet up. As she walked through the door at 7:30 that evening, she saw Jack sitting at the piano, immersed in his music. He was in sweatpants and an old t-shirt; his port-a-cath made a small lump on his side. She stood watching as his fingers moved across the keys, and set her purse very quietly on the couch.

He seemed to sense her presence and eventually turned to face her, smiling when she came to sit down next to him. "Dejavu," she laughed as they kissed, and she felt his forehead, relieved that his temperature was back to normal.

"How was your day?" he asked, and she leaned against his shoulder, smiling when he pressed his lips against her temple.

"Crazy as usual," she groaned, and watched as Jack turned the page of the music, peering back at the piano. "When did you learn to play?" she asked, and he began pressing the keys again. Music had always been theraputic for him; it took him to a distant place for escape from the harsh reality of the world.

"When I was a kid," he replied. "My Mom insisted I take music lessons."

Kate giggled; the idea of Jack playing the piano as a small boy was amusing. Especially since his father had been so hard on him through most of his life. When she mentioned this, Jack looked at her, and she hoped she hadn't gone over the line.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, and he shook his head.

"What's to be sorry for?" he asked. "It's the truth. But I loved it, and played every chance I got."

Kate closed her eyes and listened to the music as it continued, wishing she had the patience to learn an art like that. "I can teach you," he suggested, and her eyes raised.

"Are you serious?" she asked, and he nodded.

"If you want to learn," he replied, and she kissed him.

"I would," she giggled. "but can I get a shower and change first?"

He nodded, allowing her to stand up, patting her hand when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a great hug. As she let the water wash over her, she opened her mouth to take a bit of it in, and ran her fingers through her hair. While she hated to leave Jack for an entire day at the resturaunt, she loved how work distracted her from her worries. He truly was doing better without all of her fussing, though she loved him so much, she needed to feel him beside her.

"All right," Jack began once she was in her comfortable pants and shirt, sitting beside him on the bench. "We'll start with something simple, like row row row your boat."

Kate smirked, and he gently took her hand, beginning to place each finger on the keys as he wanted them positioned. "They're a lot harder to hit than they look," she admitted, and he nodded, encouraging her to follow him as he showed her what to do. Before she realized what was going on, she had the entire first verse down, and he began to join in with the lower notes, making it wound quite pleasant.

"There we go," he laughed once they finished, and she slid her arms around his waist, kissing his lips again. He nuzzled her neck; her skin was so soft, especially after she used her body wash from the shower.

"What would I do without you?" she asked, touching his cheeks, and peering into his eyes.

"Dry up and shrivel away, I suppose," he teased, and she stuck out her tongue.

"You're probably right," she laughed, standing up, and helped him to his feet. He gasped as he attempted to put weight on his bad leg, and she gripped his arm for support.

"Dammit," he cursed, and she bit her lip, listening as he breathed steadily through his nose. She rubbed his back, encouraging him to limp over to the couch so she could look at his knee again, which sometimes swelled up a little. He didn't protest as she pulled he sweatpant leg up to that section, and inspected the damaged knee. It was looking a little swollen, but nothing too serious. "I'll get you some ice again," she said, and he let out another breath, trying to ignore the throbbing pain. Once she had it, Jack watched as she gently lay it over his knee, closing his eyes for a moment.

"When is your appointment with Dr. Olina again?" Kate asked, and Jack shook his head; he barely remembered what happened the day before, let alone what was going on in the following weeks.

"I'll get the calander," she sighed, standing, and went into the kitchen to peer at it from where they hung it on the wall by the fridge. "Next Tuesday," she added. "Maybe we should schedule it for sooner, especially since you had such a high fever the other night."

Jack coughed taking her hand when she came back to sit beside him. "I would never trade you for anyone," he choked, and she pressed her forehead against his. "you've always been my angel, Kate."

She sobbed, peering into his face. "I'm far from an angel," she managed, and he wet his lips.

"Angels come in all shapes and sizes," he replied. "I've always known you were mine."

Kate kissed him again, just as the telephone rang, and she groaned, resting her head against his chest. He rubbed her back as it continued to ring, and when she sighed heavily, told her she didn't have to answer it.

"That's where voice mail comes in," he explained, and she made a face.

"Just hold me, Jack," she whispered. "Please, just hold me."

He struggled to sit up, his knee feeling somewhat better after the ice, and pulled her into his arms. He let her burry her face against his shoulder, gazing up at the ceiling. They'd been through so much in such a short span of time; it was hard to take in. The island, being captured by the Others, the rescue, their marriage, his cancer returning.

"Remember how you liked it when I'd scratch your back?" Jack asked after a few moments of silence, and Kate looked at him, stunned by the sudden change of topic.

"Huh?" she asked, and he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I started it while we were together on the island, and all through our honeymoon."

Kate looked at him, a small smile creeping over her lips. "Yeah," she replied. "I did love it."

He encouraged her to lay down, and lifted her shirt up so he could do just that for her. She was in complete bliss as his fingers scratched gently over her skin, and she let out a pretend purr in delight. "It's a shame we can't have any pets," she said as he continued the treatment, and he gave a small "hmm" in understanding. "even if the apartment allowed them, you're allergic." luckily his allergies had been minor enough that Walt's dog Vincent, didn't bother him too badly while they were stranded on the island. Unfortunately, the fact that he couldn't be around animals for a long period of time prevented them from having a dog or cat of their own.

Jack stroked her hair. "A minor inconvenience," he admitted. "We'd never have time to take care of one. And I'd be afraid to have an animal near the baby when…" he cleared his throat. "How have you been feeling, Kate?" he asked, and she looked at him.

"Fine," she promised. "My calander says my period should be coming within the next week, so I guess we'll see." she smiled. "still excited, huh?" she asked, and he laughed quietly.

"Kate, if we have a baby together, I'll be ecstatic. As I've told you, it's one of the few things I want in the world besides you."

Kate blushed. "Sawyer asked if our son or daughter will grow up to be a doctor like his father," she chuckled, and Jack grinned.

"I have no doubt that I'd be pleased if that was the case," he replied. "but I would never force my child to do what they didn't want to do. Just as long as they chose a path that is safe."

Kate kissed him. "Do you have any pictures of yourself as a kid?" she asked, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Hmmm," he thought. "Let me check. I don't know what I have saved up in my stash in the closet." he managed to stand up without pain after a moment, and Kate followed him in case he needed to lean on her.

"Which box is it?" she asked, and when he pointed, she climbed up onto a step stool and pulled it out from the top of the cloest. She sat it down on the coffee table, and he opened the top, clearing his throat as he began sorting through all the old photographs, letters, and other memorabilia. Kate was sadly reminded of a time capsule she'd made with her childhood friend Tom, who unfortunately was killed in one of her attempts at escaping from the law.

"Oh my gosh," Kate breathed, once she took out an old photograph from the early 60's, of a youg boy with dark brown hair and dark eyes. "Is this you?" she showed it to Jack, who rubbed his nose and took it from her, peering closely at it. She began laughing; it was amazing how similar he looked, even now, to that picture.

"Yeah," he replied. "You're good." he excused himself to sneeze, and Kate continued to go through the box, unfolding a letter or two, which were unfortunately from Sara.

"You don't have to read those," he insisted, and she looked at him. "I went through a hard time after we divorced."

"You never really told me about that," Kate began quietly, and Jack wet his lips. "What happened exactly?"

He cleared his throat again, and she put the letters in the box so she could listen properly. "Well, as you know, Sara was the woman I'd fixed who nearly died when I accidentally sliced open a nerve on the operating table."

Kate closed her eyes; that was their first conversation on the beach, before she sewed his wound. "I fixed her, and we fell in love shortly afterwards. But my hours at the hospital were getting longer and longer as I went up in the ranks, and especially after replacing my father as chief of surgery when he was let go for working under the influence. Sara felt as though I weren't there often enough, and she…" he blew out his breath. "she started seeing someone else behind my back."

Kate took his arm, furious that anyone would think of cheating on such a wonderful man. "It didn't help that at one point I was trying to help save this woman's father who was dying from a disease eating away at his spinal cord, and after the father died, in her moment of distress she kissed me. I kissed her back."

Kate wet her lips as well, pulling him into a hug. "God I'm sorry," she breathed, and Jack shook his head, giving a great sniff and wiping his eyes. "I'm so sorry." she reached up to smooth his hair. "was Sara there when you had the first bout of cancer?" she asked, and he shook his head.

"She missed it by a few months," he admitted. "That's why I think you and I were meant to be together, Kate. You didn't need me to fix you, and…" he sighed shakily, and Kate immediately covered the box, putting it back on the top of the closet and shutting the door. Jack watched as s he came back to sit next to him, and she leaned in for a kiss, and she immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders, continuing to do so.

"I'm in the mood for ice cream," she said after a bit, and Jack smirked, amused by the sudden change of topic.

"Kate, if you want to check and see who called you can," he teased, and she stuck out her tongue.

"Seriously, I do want ice cream, but I do want to see who it was," she retorted, and he lay down, too tired to get up and follow her into the kitchen. Kate listened to the answering machine, finding it was just Claire checking in on them. She'd heard from Sun, who mentioned Jack's bad fever, and wanted to make sure everything was all right. "At least it wasn't Sawyer again," Kate chuckled after she brought two bowls of ice cream into the living room. Jack accepted his, smiling when she returned her friend's phone call.

"I was nervous for a bit there," Claire replied once Kate insisted Jack was feeling better again. "Esepcially since you usually answer the phone at this time of the night."

Kate explained that she and Jack wanted to have some time alone without disruption, but insisted her friend wasn't intruding.

"I was thinking," Claire continued, and Kate watched as Jack reached for the box of tissues on the counter, frowning when he sneezed again. "You, Sun and I should have a manicure done one of these days. We were trying to think of things to do, and a girl's day out sounds great, doesn't it?"

Kate nodded just as Jack broke into another small sneezing fit, and set the phone on her shoulder for a moment. "Are you okay?" she asked, and he nodded, excusing himself to go to the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Claire asked, and Kate shook her head.

"Jack's allergies are working up for some reason," she sighed. "If it's not one thing, it's another."

Claire shrieked with surprise when Charlie came up behind her, and slapped him in the gut as a response. "Honestly, these boys!" she gasped, and Kate chuckled, relieved when Jack came back, taking up his bowl of ice cream again.

"What are we going to do with them?" Kate asked, and Jack gave her a funny look, one which she returned with a mere shrug and grin. "Listen, that sounds great about the girl's day out. I'm off on Friday, so did you want to get together then? That would give Sun enough time to pack and get ready for her flight on Saturday back to New York."

Once the final arrangements were made, Claire asked to speak to Jack, and Kate listened as Jack quietly assured her he was all right. After he said, "Love you, too," Jack handed the phone back to Kate, who hung it up after saying goodbye.

"What was that all about?" she asked, once the room was quiet again, and Jack looked at her.

"Had another tickle in my nose," Jack replied, and she gave him a look. "So what's this girl's day out?" he asked, and she took another bite of ice cream, leaning against the back of the couch.

"We're going to have our nails done on Friday," she explained, and Jack smiled.

"Seriously?" he asked, and she raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, honey, but I don't think you've ever once expressed interest in that type of thing."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Shut up," she laughed. "I like to do girlie things every now and again."

He leaned in to kiss her, apologizing, and she made a face. "You're just full of surprises, Kate Shepard," he teased, and she grinned mischievously.

"It feels so good to have your last name," she breathed. "Kate Shepard has a nice ring to it."

Jack nodded, finishing the last of his bowl, and set it on the coffee table, pulling her into another hug.

"Mmm, yes it does," he replied, nuzzling her neck again. When he paused to give another sneeze, Kate suggested he go straight to bed. "Bless you," she laughed after they stood up, and he looked at her.

"I havent sneezed this much in a while," he admitted, and she wrapped an arm around his waist, leading him down the small hallway that divided the living room from their bedroom. "as though I need something else to be wrong with me, huh?" he squeezed her hands once he was laying down, and Kate kissed his forehead.

"Just get some sleep," she encouraged, and he nodded, closing his eyes. She went into the living room to put the dirty dishes in the sink, and stood washing them for a few moments. She glanced over her shoulder towards the bedroom, smiling to herself as she thought about all the moments she spent with Jack over the past year. Every second with him had a special place in her heart, where she would never forget those memories.

_"Excuse me!" _

_Kate jumped at the sound of a man's voice as she came upon a small clearing; she massaged her wrists, which once were shackled with handcuffs. Sitting there in the jungle was a handsome man in his early thirties, looking at her anxiously. He had his shirt off, revealing a very well-built body, one shoulder covered in a tatoo. _

_"Did you ever use a needle?"_

_Kate raised her eyes; that was a strange question to ask a total stranger. She bit her lip, still slightly overwhelmed by the trauma of the plane crashing. _

_"What?" she asked, and he held his fingers up, to imitate sewing. _

_"Did you ever…patch a pair of jeans?"_

_Kate cleared her throat, looking down at her feet. "I…" she hated how her voice shook. "I made the drapes in my apartment," she replied, and he smiled at her, panting in the heat. _

_"That's great,'"he replied. "Listen, do you have a second? I could really use some help here." _Kate massaged her forehead, feeling the tears choke her again.

_"Help with what?" she asked, and Jack turned so she could see a large, open wound bleeding freely. She felt her stomach churn, and closed her eyes, unable to believe what she was dealing with. _

_"With this. Look, I'm a doctor, and I'd do it myself, but I cant…" he swallowed. "I can't reach it."_

_Kate blinked. "You want me to sew that up?" her voice came out as barely a squeak, and he managed a small smile of encouragement. _

_"It's just like the drapes," he insisted, and she stepped back, wanting nothing more than to flee into the jungle and hide. _

_"No, for the drapes I used a sewing machine," she choked, and Jack cocked his head to one side. _

_"No, you can do this," he replied. "I'm telling you. If you wouldn't mind." _

_Just the way he looked at her, how helpless he seemed; she couldn't refuse. _

_Before she knew it, she was kneeling on the sand, taking the box of multi colored thread from him. She smirked; it contained black, red, pink, light blue, yellow…the basic colors for fabric. "Any color preference?" she asked, and he laughed softly; such a wonderful sound, she thought. _

_"Nope--just standard black."_

_As she began to sew the broken flesh together, she mentioned how he didn't seem scared at all, how she didn't understand that. _

Kate let the tears flow again, leaning against the countertop, and massaged her forehead wearily. She was so tired, caring for her husband, and more scared than he knew.

"_Well...fear's sort of an odd thing," he replied. "When I was in residency my first solo procedure was a spinal surgery on a sixteen-year-old kid. A girl. And at the end after thirteen hours I was closing her up and I..I accidentally ripped her dural sac . Shredded the base of the spine where all her nerves come together. Membrane as thin as tissue. _

_So it ripped open. Nerves just spilled out of her like angel hair pasta, spinal fluid flowing out of her and I...the terror was just so crazy. So real. And I knew I had to deal with it. So I just made a choice. I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing. But only for five seconds. That's all I was gonna give it. So I started to count. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. And it was gone. I went back to work, sewed her up, and she was fine."_

When Kate heard Jack give another sneeze from their bedroom, she closed her eyes, gripping the edge of the counter. "One…two…three…four…five…" she counted quietly, taking a deep breath through her nose, letting it out through her mouth. That story was the one that brought them together each time, it seemed.

After putting the bowls away in the cabinet where they belonged, she made her way into the bedroom, where Jack lay sleeping, and she sat on the edge of the bed.

_"You didn't need me to fix you and I…"_

Kate remembered his words from earlier that night, and realized just how true they were. At that point, she decided to get into her pajamas, and eventually lay down beside Jack to go to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Kate went out with Claire and Sun as planned on Friday, and Charlie stayed at the apartment with Jack. It was wonderful spending time with the girls, listening as Claire told them about singing for Charlie's next album.

"I'm so excited," she said, sipping from her diet Coke while they ate lunch at one of the local cafés. "He said he wants me to sing at the concert when we have one, too."

Kate beamed--she loved seeing Claire so happy.

"That is excellent," Sun replied. "Kate told me about your baby--I am so happy for you."

Claire giggled, leaning back in her chair, sighing with contentment. "I think he's going to propose to me soon," she added, and Kate shared a glance with Sun.

"I hope so," Sun replied. "Charlie's a good man."

Kate cupped her hands around her chin…that was definitely a true statement. Charlie agreed to look after her sick husband without a second thought while she was unavailable on her day off. Of course, Charlie and Jack had always been close, ever since Charlie rescued him from the cave where he lay trapped after a pile of rocks collapsed.

"He really is," Claire agreed. "The three of us are so lucky to have found the men we're with, you know? Who love us unconditionally."

Kate nodded. "I have to be thankful for everyday Jack's still here with me," she replied, taking a shaky breath, and Sun squeezed her hand.

"Charlie is taking care of him," she promised. "You shouldn't have to worry. He'll call if anything happens."

Kate nodded, hating how she couldn't relax unless she was with Jack, seeing he was okay.

"Take a deep breath," Claire encouraged, and Kate did as she was told, counting slow to five in her head. Once she felt calm again, Sun and Claire leaned back in their seats.

"We should get going," Sun announced, checking her watch. "Our appointment is soon."

They split the check, and after leaving a tip, Kate led the way out of the café. Claire linked arms with her, giving her a hug.

"Sorry," Kate apologized. "This is just making me so nervous."

Sun offered to drive, and soon the three girls were on their way to the salon.

"It's been a long time since I've had this don," Kate admitted as they were encouraged to choose nail polishc olors. Claire insisted Kate try a bright red, because it went very well against her tan complexion. Kate agreed, and they were taken to have their feet placed in warm water.

It was utter bliss to have the bubbles pouring over her toes, and the massaging device rolling up and down her back. She was so tense that it almost hurt, but it felt wonderful at the same time.

She actually enjoyed the entire experience, and when they headed back to the apartment, she was relieved to see Jack sitting on the couch and listening to Charlie playing his guitar. Claire began singing along to the tune, and Charlie grinned when she sat down next to him, very careful due to her still damp nails.

"You look beautiful," Jack complimented, after Kate displayed the final result. She leaned in to kiss him, grateful his skin felt cool again.

"I would hug you, but the polish isn't quite dry yet," she apologized, and he encouraged her to sit down on his lap. "So how was it?" she asked, and Charlie was in the midst of peering at Claire's shocking pink polish, teasing her a little about it.

"That is so you," he said, and she stuck out her tongue.

"It's not too much?" she asked, and he winked.

"Heck no," he replied, and then turned to Kate. "Jack was fine. We've just been hanging out, you know…talking it up, nothing major. We even did a duet at one point with him on the piano."

Kate grinned at her husband, who's still-pale cheeks reddened with embarassment. "Really?" she asked, and he glanced at Charlie, amused.

"It wasn't much to speak of," he replied, before excusing himself to sneeze.

"Geshuntite," Charlie told him, and Jack nodded his thanks.

"Have you been sneezing again?" Kate asked, remembering the night before when he'd suffered a few fits.

"Off and on," he replied. "Not as bad as yesterday. Hey…do you guys want something to drink? I'll get us some iced tea…or we have soda, too."

Both Sun and Claire told him they were all right, but Jack encouraged Kate to stand up so he could get something for himself. When they heard him sneeze again, Claire looked at Kate, raising an eyebrow.

"Wonder what's bothering him," she whispered, and Kate shrugged.

"Thanks," she said when he handed her a glass, and he kissed the top of her head.

"Did you always have allergies?" Claire asked once Kate was sitting on his lap again, and Jack looked at her.

"Yeah," he replied. "but for some reason they've been acting up lately--I'm guessing because of the chemo and all. I might have to start taking some medicine for them, because Kate's starting to get insomnia." he kissed her, and Claire giggled at the expression on Kate's face.

"You two are so cute," she said, and Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"That would make us…what?" he asked playfully, and she slapped him on the shoulder. "Oh, your nails!" he cried in a feminine voice, and grinned when Claire rolled her eyes at him.

"You can be such a sod," she teased, and he shrugged innocently. "Hey, have any of you heard from the rest of our group from the island? I mean…the only time we ever did was when Hurley sent us an e-mail."

Jack shook his head. "No," he replied. "Though I think I heard Locke's writing a book about our adventures on the island. Not that I'm interseted in reading it anytime soon, but…"

Charlie snorted. "No matter how hard I try, I'll never figure that man out," he admitted, and the rest of them gave a murmer of agreement. "I mean, for starters, we never figured out why he brought a case full of knives onto the plane."

"It was a game," Kate explained.

"Still," Charlie added. "He creeped me out."

At that moment the sound of a cell phone rang in their ears, and Sun looked annoyed as she asked Jack to reach into the pocket of her jeans for it.

"Thank you," she told him, and answered. When she began speaking in Korean, they knew at once who was on the other end. A few moments later, she flipped the phone shut, and put it into her purse. "That was Jin," she announced. "He insists I come home as soon as possible so we can spend our last night in California together doing something romantic."

Kate laughed. "I'm sure it'll be wonderful," she insisted, and stood to give her friend a great hug. "It's been so good to see you," she whispered, and Sun smiled.

"You too," she replied. "Jack, I really hope you feel better quickly. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call."

He nodded, promising to try his best, just as Claire stood to give her goodbyes.

"What time is your plane tomorrow?" Charlie asked, and Sun looked at him.

"Very early," she answered. "Seven o'clock…Jin wanted to get home so he can get himself ready for work on Monday."

After hugging the rest of the group, Sun waved, leaving the apartment shortly afterwards. When she was gone, Charlie stretched, and Claire looked at her wrist watch.

"We should go, too," she announced. "Aaron's with a sitter, and they aren't exactly cheap these days."

Kate smiled as Charlie began packing up his guitar, stringing it over his shoulder with a grunt. "It's been fun," he told Jack, holding out his hand. Jack laughed, pulling Charlie into a hug, and thanked him for keeping a look out. "No problem, mate," Charlie insisted. "Anytime." after hugging Kate and saying goodbye, the other couple headed in Sun's wake, leaving Jack and Kate alone together at last.

"So did you have a good time?" he asked, pulling her into a hug, pressing his forehead against hers. Kate fingered his chest gently, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah," she replied. "I just…it's so hard to relax when you've been really sick lately."

Jack kissed her, lifting her chin so she could peer into his eyes. "I don't want you to worry about me all the time," he begged. "You've been telling me to relax, and I want the same for you."

She nodded, wetting her lips. "I know that," she whispered. "It's just so damn hard, Jack."

He held her close, and she burried her face against his chest. He eventually loosened his grip, and headed over to the CD player.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice a little hoarse from emotions, and he looked over his shoulder with a small smile.

"You'll see," he replied, and eventually familiar notes began to play.

"Our wedding song," she breathed as he came back over, offering his hand. She accepted it with a smile, and wrapped her arms around him as they began to slow dance. After a few moments of silence, she looked at him. "I never thought I'd love someone so much until I found you," she whispered, and he smiled gently.

"Mmmm," he replied, kissing her. "I'll never forget how happy you looked on our wedding day, coming down the aisle. Though I'll admit, I was worried, Kate," he admitted, and she frowned at him.

"Why?" she asked, and his eyes narrowed.

"You know why," he replied, and she lowered her head, feeling guilty. She'd put her husband through such hell on the island with her skittishness. _No matter what, _she thought, resting her head on his shoulder, _I'll never hurt him again. Ever. _

Over the next couple of days, things began to happen that Kate, though she was expecting it, still felt a pang of anxiety. Her period was late, for one thing, so she immediately called Claire to ask for advice.

"Are you sure?" Claire replied when Kate explained the situation.

"I've checked my personal calander twice, and yes I'm positive," Kate squeaked. "I know I should be excited about this, but Jack just went back to work after being sick with that fever…I'm not sure how ready he'll be."

"Kate," Claire insisted. "He'll be ready, I promise. Listen…I get off work at two, so why don't I come over and we'll go look for the same pregnancy tester I used for when I found out about Shannon?" she suggested, and Kate checked her watch; it was only eleven.

"Okay," Kate agreed, and Claire again promised everything would be fine. When she hung up the phone, Kate went over to the couch and curled up on it. Jack seemed much better when he woke up that morning, and if anything, just a bit tired. It was so strange to think she was pregnant; it would be excellent news, that was for sure.

_You're making no sense at all, _she told herself, sighing softly.

When Claire came over around 2:30, she offered to drive to the drugstore. "Have you been feeling weird or anything?" she asked, and Kate shook her head.

"Not that I'm aware of," she replied. "But I'm sure the stress over Jack's been clouding everything else." she laughed humorlessly, and Claire smiled at her.

"Hey," she began, and Kate looked at her. "You and Jack have been trying to have a baby. I wouldn't worry at all about his reaction."

"I know," Kate replied. "I just don't want to give him something else to worry about, you know?" she shrugged as they parked, and she timidly followed her friend towards the specified aisle. Claire hummed to herself as she peered at the different lables on the tester boxes, and when she came to the familiar brand, she held it up. 

"This is the one," she announced. "It's 99.9 accurate…I know, that always sounds ridiculous, but I'm pregnant," she added, pointing to her slightly swollen stomach. Kate took the box and peered on the back. She'd only used a tester once before, when she thought she was pregnant after having sex with Sawyer on the island. _Thank God I wasn't, _she told herself. _That's one secret I refuse to tell anyone. It's bad enough I made the mistake in the first place. _

After paying for the device, Claire promised she would wait with her until the result came through. "Trust me," Claire insisted, "I've been alone when I found out before, and it sucks."

When they reached the apartment, Kate went into the bathroom with Claire at her heels. She was shaking so hard, it was difficult to get the device in, and the minute of waiting time seemed like an hour. Once she took it out, she begged Claire to look at it first, feeling sick to her stomach with anxiety by this point.

"Okay," Claire replied, taking the tester, and peering closely at it. When she heard her friend gasp with delight, Kate opened one eye, and saw Claire beaming with excitement.

"No," she gasped. "Are you kidding me?" she stood up from the toilet seat, and Claire nodded, so excited she was unable to speak for the time being. She displayed the tester, which had turned pink as it showed on the box.

_I'm having Jack's baby, _she thought, tears filling her eyes, and she embraced Claire, laughing and crying at the same time.

"You have to call him," Claire insisted, and Kate shook her head.

"No…he's not easily reachable at the hospital," she replied. "I'd rather tell him in person, anyway. Oh my God, I can't believe it," she sobbed. "I'm actually pregnant."

Claire began jumping up and down and clapping, and insisted Kate call the doctor to make a follow up appointment. When she did, the two girls collapsed onto the couch, and Claire began giving Kate the line up of what to expect during pregnancy.

"Of course the morning sickness is obvious," she said, "but that only lasts for a few weeks. And just a note--it's not always in the morning."

Kate smirked. "Probably they meant morning as in m-o-u-r-n-i-n-g," she teased, and Claire smirked.

"Could be." she shrugged. "after that it's nice because you don't have your period for a long time."

"Then you're stuck with a big watermellon belly," Kate groaned, and Claire narrowed her eyes.

"Hey!" she warned. "at least you weren't stuck on an island with a bunch of strangers dealing with it."

Kate smirked, apologizing, and Claire leaned back against the couch again. She stayed for a few hours, and after she left, Kate decided to head to the beach. It was another beautiful day in Los Angeles; the sun was shining without a cloud in the sky. For a good while she sat looking out at the ocean, and gazed down at her stomach with a small smile.

"Hopefully you'll like the beach just as much as I do," she said, touching it gently. "This is the happiest moment of my life besides the day I married your father." she sighed softly, burrying her feetin the sand.

She didn't head home until it was close to the time Jack would get out of work, and to her amusement they met in the parking lot of their building.

"Let me guess where you've been," he called as he pulled his briefcase out from the backseat. He always looked so handsome in his suit and tie; he normally wore a white lab coat while in the hospital itself.

"Hey," Kate breathed, kissing him. "How did your day go?"

He nodded, rubbing his nose a little. "Fine," he replied. "I had to stop and get some allergy medicine, because I was sneezing all day at work."

Kate frowned, offering to help him carry something, and he thanked her as she took his briefcase.

"Well I have some very good news to give you when we get upstairs," she began, and he looked at her curiously.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, smiling, and they got into the elevator. "God knows we could use it."

Kate sighed with content as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, her heart racing as they headed towards their apartment door. When they entered, Kate frowned as Jack went to get some tissues, blowing his nose.

"Can you get that box of Clariton out of my briefcase, honey?" he asked, and she nodded, unlatching the leather case and reaching inside to find it. "Thanks." he cleared his throat, and after taking one of the pills, he came back into the living room. "So what's the good news, sweetheart?" he sat down, stretching out his bad knee, and Kate joined him.

For a few moments, she found it difficult to produce any words from her mouth. "I'm…" she took a deep breath. "Jack, I'm pregnant."

Silence filled the air, and Jack's calm expression changed to one of pure shock.

"What?" he exclaimed, and she nodded, tears filling her eyes.

"My period was a few days late, so Claire took me to the drugstore where I got one of those testers…and it…it came out positve."

Jack was speechless for a few seconds, and Kate felt every muscle in her body freeze. "Oh Kate…" he touched her cheek, and immediately kissed her. "That is wonderful news!"

She broke down at last, and he pulled her into a hug, burrying his face against her shoulder. Kate gripped his shirt, unable to get as close to him as she wanted because of the port-a-cath. When they finally let go of each other, she saw Jack was crying too, and wiped his cheeks with her thumbs before kissing him again.

"I just made an appointment with the doctor for next Tuesday," she breathed, and he kissed her forehead.

"I'll make sure I take off that day to be there with you," he answered, and she blushed. "Kate, you have no idea how wonderful this is."

She nodded. "Believe me, Jack, I know," she laughed. "Can you believe it?"

He touched her stomach gently with his fingertips, and bent down to kiss it as well.

"I'm glad someone was with you when you found out," he said. "You should have called me."

"No," she answered. "Jack, I would have rather told you in person for the first time."

He sniffed, still holding onto her hand, and she bit her lip. "Sawyer's probably going to have a heart attack when we tell him," she said, and he raised his eyes.

"You don't think he'll back out of being the baby's godfather, do you?" Jack asked, once they were settled back on the couch again.

"I don't think he'll back out of it," she replied, lacing her fingers through his. "I'm just curious as to his reaction."

He kissed her cheek. "I'm sure it'll be fine," He promised, and she looked at him.

"I love you," she said, and he smiled.

"I love you, too," he whispered, and she snuggled close, listening to the beating of his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Kate was grateful when Jack took off to come with her for the doctor's appointment. He was feeling much better in general, and if anything, looked tired. He held Kate's hand while the doctor in charge asked her a bunch of questions, and eventually, an ultrasound was given. Kate laughed with delight at the sight of the little floating fetus, and turned to Jack who had tears in his eyes. Even in the darkness of the room, they were easy to see. It was too early to determine the baby's sex yet, but Kate could feel it was a boy.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear, and Kate accepted a kiss from her.

The doctor provided her with all of the information necessary to keep the baby healthy, warning her of the upcoming bouts of morning sickness.

"I have a feeling the two of us are going to be fighting for the bathroom," Jack laughed as they left the room, and Kate jokingly slapped him on the arm.

"Hey...while we're here, maybe we should stop and see Dr. Olina. I've been worried about your fevers lately."

Jack looked hesitant, but the determined expression on his wife's face changed his mind. He took her hand and led her into the elevator, arriving shortly afterwards onto the oncology floor. Dr. Olina luckily, was availible, and took them into her office.

"He's been pretty sick lately," Kate explained after Dr. Olina asked for an update. "Especially with these spiking fevers."

Dr. Olina took Jack's blood pressure, questioning him about his other symptoms. Kate felt tears filling her eyes as she listened, furious that her husband was going through this. Hadn't they been through enough with the island? Why couldnt they just live happily ever after?

"Do you have time for x-rays?" Dr. Olina asked, and Jack blinked, glancing at Kate momentarily.

"Yeah," he replied, and she helped him stand, biting her lip at the expression of pain on his face. Dr. Olina took his arm, leading him away, and encouraged Kate to sit and relax while they were in the middle of the procedure. As she sat waiting, she wished the hospital hadn't banned the use of a cell phone...she was desparate to call Sawyer. Of course, she had no idea how to tell him she was pregnant, a bit concerned for his reaction.

_I'm sure he'll be fine with it, _a voice spoke inside of her head, but she couldn't sit still.

When Jack returned, Dr. Olina smiled apologetically at Kate, and finished jotting information down on his chart. "No real progress so far, I'd hate to say," she began, and Kate slumped down into her seat, feeling slightly ill. In fact, her stomach hadn't felt normal since she woke up that morning, but she put it out of her mind due to the circumstnaces. Jack squeezed her hand; his own felt so cold. "and he was fighting an infection, which would explain the sporadic fevers. But the good news is, the cancer hasn't started spreading yet."

"He's only been on the chemo for a few weeks, though," Kate pointed out. "doesnt it take time for the medicine to work?"

Dr. Olina nodded. "Yes, but it's a very strong chemical, and depending on the severity of the cancer, we usually start to see some developments within the first week or so."

Jack swallowed, and it was apparent he was trying not to loose control of his emotions. Kate slipped an arm around his waist, being mindful of the port-a-cath, and stroked his side gently.

"So what do we do now?" he asked, and Dr. Olina peered at her chart.

"I'll give you another week, Jack, and if we don't see any improvements, then we'll have to raise the dose of the chemo."

Jack nodded in understanding. "I see," he replied. "thank you."

"I'm sorry," Dr. Olina spoke once they stood, preparing to leave, and she looked at him directly. "I warned you the second time around wouldn't be easy."

Jack blew out his breath, feeling a little dizzy, and then promised he'd call on Friday and make an appointment for the following week. As they headed out of the hospital, Kate suggested they go to the beach for a little while.

"It'll help," she insisted, and he rubbed his hands over his face, gazing up at the overcast sky. "Jack," she continued, and he turned away from her, anger boiling inside.

"Goddammit!" he kicked a trash can with the toe of his sneaker, and Kate jumped at the noise. She watched as he leaned against the metal container, resting his forehead in his hands. She stood still for a few moments, touching her stomach, and then went to him.

"We're going to have a baby," she told him quietly, and he sniffed, turning to her. "can't we think about that?"

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I'm sorry," he apologized, and she reached up to touch his whiskered cheek. "I'm just getting really frustrated. I've been sick as a dog for the past three weeks, and nothing's happening."

Kate kissed him. "You're doing great," she replied, but then suddenly felt the nausea coming back full force. "Jack..." she whispered, and he blinked, confused by the sudden change of expression on her face. "I think..." she bolted for the nearest bush, and began to throw up, trembling in the late afternoon heat. He rushed over to her and placed his hand on her back, rubbing it in gentle circles.

"It's okay," he soothed. "Kate, it's okay. Take deep breaths."

She choked on a sob once the fit finally ended, and collapsed to her knees. He knelt down beside her, holding her hair back, and she touched her forehead with the back of her hand. "Jesus," she gulped, and then peered into his eyes. "that was unexpected. Sorry," she added, and he gave a small laugh.

"Are you all right?" he asked, and she shrugged, leaning weakly against him.

"Guess so," she replied, and he eased her to her feet. "I'm tired..."

He smiled faintly, and led her slowly to the car. "It's a lot to take in," he explained, and she was grateful to sit down in the car.

"Jack, you shouldnt be driving," she groaned, and he laughed as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"You just threw up, Kate. I think I can handle it," he answered, before sticking the key into the ignition. Kate closed her eyes as the car began to move, and before she knew what was happening, they arrived at their apartment complex. Jack wasn't strong enough to carry her inside as he would have done initially, but he allowed her to lean on him the entire way up to their floor. Kate had to get sick again as soon as they entered the apartment, and Jack sat with her in the bathroom, filling a glass with water to give her while she was done.

"How long does this last?" she asked once she finished, accepting the water, but her hands were shaking badly.

"A couple of weeks," Jack replied, wiping her hair out of her face. "It wont be as bad all the time, though. I think you feel queasy for the most part."

Kate smirked as she sipped from the water once she relaxed a little, and leaned against his chest. "This is going to be interesting," she mused, and he helped her up and into the bedroom.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I still think you look absolutely beautiful," he replied, and she rolled her eyes.

"Shut up," she groaned as he eased her under the covers. "So you...how are you feeling?"

Jack shrugged. "I guess I'll have to hang in there," he admitted, getting into bed beside her. "Hard to imagine I've only been through a month of chemo so far...fourteen more weeks to go."

Kate raised her body up with her elbows. "Do you think you'll be taken off of the chemo sooner?" she asked, "if the cancer starts improving?"

Jack smiled. "They prefer to wait until I've gone into remission," he replied, and she flopped back against the pillows. Her body ached, and her stomach felt hollow. How Claire put up with being pregnant on a deserted island, she had no idea. She curled up into Jack's arms, snuggling as close as she could to his chest. Being near him felt so good, especially when he began to smoothe his hands along her legs. For a long time neither of them spoke; they didn't always need words. Kate was too tired from her bouts of nausea, and eventually drifted off to sleep. Jack let her stay in bed for the remainder of the evening, and brought her a bowl of Cheerios for dinner.

"Thanks," she laughed when he handed it to her, and he sat down.

"Feeling any better?" he asked, and she nodded, accepting a kiss on the lips.

"Mostly," she replied. "What have you been up to?"

Jack cleared his throat and leaned against the headboard, closing his eyes for a moment. "Just catching up on some of my charts from work," he replied. "I'm a bit behind lately because I've been sick."

Kate nodded, taking a spoonful of cereal, trying to eat slowly so she wouldn't make herself sick again. She smiled when Jack placed his hand on her knee, and covered it with her own. "I love you," she said through another mouthful, and he laughed when she apologized, swallowing quickly. "Sorry," she giggled, and he shook his head.

"I know," he replied, and she fed a spoonful of Cheereos to him.

"What should I do about Sawyer?" Kate asked, after she finished dinner, and set the bowl on the nightstand. Jack stared at her, and she lowered her head, a bit shameful.

"You haven't told him yet?" he asked, and she bit her lip.

"No," she admitted. "I haven't been able to."

"Kate..." Jack began, and she touched his lips.

"This is hard, Jack," she spoke.

"Are you afraid he's going to back out of being the baby's godfather now that it's a reality?" Jack asked, and Kate tapped her fingers together. Sawyer was very similar in personality to her, so it was quite possible.

"I don't know," she whispered, and he held her tighter, accepting a kiss on the forehead.

"Just tell him," he said. "not tonight, of course...you need sleep."

Kate laughed as she reached for the lamp, turning it off. Jack's steady breathing calmed her considerably, and soon she fell asleep once again.

The next evening, Jack and Kate met Sawyer for a casual dinner, which was rather awkward in the beginning. Two glasses of wine later, Kate finally straightened up. "I'm pregnant," she announced, and Jack nearly choked on his salad at the expression on the other man's face. Sawyer had his fork in mid-air, and was in mid-chew. When he was finally able to swallow, he leaned back in his chair, and Kate felt Jack take her hand, squeezing it firmly.

"Do you need CPR?" Jack asked, and Sawyer snorted, setting his fork down.

"Wow," he breathed. "how long have you known, Freckles?" he asked, and Jack smiled at her.

"About a week and a half," she replied. "I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, but...I didn't know how." she fiddled with her napkin, and Sawyer nodded in understanding.

"So there's going to be another Doc Giggles...just what society needs." he smirked, and Kate kicked him under the table. "Congratulations," he added, and Jack felt Kate's body relaxing with relief.

"You're not going to skip town now, are you?" she asked, and Sawyer raised his eyes. "You did promise to be Luke's godfather."

Sawyer stared. "Oh...yeah," he replied. "Luke, huh?"

Jack smiled at her. "Kate, we don't know what the sex is," he laughed quietly, and she squeezed his arm.

"I know, Jack," she replied, and he stroked the ends of her hair.

"Well, I wasn't planning on skipping town," Sawyer continued, and Jack was grateful when the waitress came by to serve them their main courses. When dinner ended, the three of them wandered along Hollywood boulevard, enjoying the traditional Los Angeles sights. "How are you doing, Doc?" Sawyer asked as they wandered around Grauman's Chinese Theater, peering at the star's hand and foot prints. "With the whole...cancer er...thing?"

Jack watched as Kate went over to Marilyn Monroe's section, and knelt down to place her hands in the mold. Jack watched as she did this with several others, and turned to Sawyer again.

"Not too good," he replied. "It's still kind of early, though, but...we saw the oncologist yesterday...she was concerned about not seeing any developments."

Sawyer took his pack of cigaretts from his pocket, and offered one to Jack.

"No thanks," Jack replied. "Sawyer, I appreciate that you're hanging around. Kate needs an extra cushion to lean on."

Sawyer smirked as Kate came back over, slipping an arm around Jack's waist. "What are you two talking about?" she asked, and Jack kissed her cheek.

"Just how beautiful you look," he replied. "told him there's really no competition between us at this point."

Kate laughed, jokingly slapping him on the chest, and winked at Sawyer. They continued walking until it got dark, and when Jack felt too tired to move any further, they headed back to the apartment. He went to bed shortly afterwards, leaving Kate and Sawyer on the living room couch.

"Are you really okay with my having a baby?" Kate asked, looking at him, and he blinked.

"Is that a trick question?" he replied, and she smiled faintly. "Kate, I'm just thrilled it's not mine."

She laughed, stretching her legs so her feet were resting on the coffee table. "Me too," she admitted, and he made a face. "So tell me...are you still willing to take on the task as godfather?"

Sawyer leaned back against the couch, cracking his knuckles. "Ain't nothin' I can't handle," he replied, and was stunned when Kate gave him a hug. When she released herself from his grasp, he stared at her, open-mouthed. "What the hell was that?" he asked, and Kate shrugged.

"A thank you," she replied, and Sawyer cleared his throat, glancing at his watch.

"Yeah. Well, uh..." he stood. "I should get going...it's late, and I've already stayed longer than I should have. G'night."

Kate watched as he left for the front door faster than she'd ever seen him move, and jumped a little when the door shut. _What just happened there? _she thought, falling onto the couch, and hugged her knees to her chest.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The next couple of weeks passed by in a blur. Kate and Jack fought bouts of nausea a piece, and it was often a race for the bathroom. Jack's oncologist changed his dose of chemo after he came to see her again, and he caught a cold shortly afterwards. This meant quite a bit of time in bed, and Kate, when she wasn't working at The Palace, did whatever she could to help him feel better. "I love you," she whispered into his ear as he lay under the blankets curled into a ball, and he reached up to squeeze her hand through a bought of coughing. "You're going to be fine." she stroked his forehead, bending low to kiss him.

When he recovered, Charlie and Claire invited them to watch a rehearsal for their upcoming concert in December. "It has an official date now," Charlie explained once they were seated in the front row of the empty auditiorium. Claire was up on stage singing loudly into a microphone, tossing her hair this way and that. "December 12th, two weeks before Christmas. And you two have the luck of getting VIP tickets!" he presented the pair of passes to his friends, and Kate laughed, watching as Jack read the details. He still looked so pale and tired, but she knew that was from the medication.

"This is great, Charlie," Kate replied, hugging him. "I am so happy for you guys. And she sounds fantastic!"

Jack sneezed roughly a moment later, and Kate rubbed his back, worry on her face.

"Geshuntite," Charlie told him, and Jack nodded his thanks. "All right there, mate?"

"Yeah," Jack insisted. "I'm still getting over a cold." he turned back to the stage to watch Claire, the lights from the stage making his head ache.

"Do you need any water?" Charlie asked, and Kate nodded, grateful when her friend went to get a few bottles from the cooler off to the side. Kate sat down beside her husband, placing a hand on his bad knee. Jack smiled at her, placing his hand on top of hers, lacing their fingers together.

Charlie brought two bottles of water back to them, and Jack gratefully accepted his, unscrewing the lid and taking a large swig from it. The water felt so good sliding down his raw throat, and he blew out his breath. When Claire finished her next track, she hopped down from the stage, and ran into their arms.

"It's so good to see you here!" she cried, laughing with delight. "I feel so bloody awful for not having called...we've just been so busy getting ourselves together for the concert and all. I know it's still a few months off, but there's a ton of stuff to do."

Kate grinned, tightening her ponytail, and shook her head. "It's no problem," she insisted. "we've both been sick lately, so we haven't been great company." she eyed Jack who was resting his eyes, shifting positions occasionally to ease the pain in his leg.

"Morning sickness, eh?" Claire asked, opening her own bottle and taking a sip from it, and Kate nodded, rolling her eyes jokingly.

"Luckily it's eased up a bit, but I still get a little queasy now and again. And um...can I talk to you in the hall? Both of you?" she asked, and the younger couple glanced at each other awkwardly.

"Sure," Charlie promised, and Kate whispered to Jack they were going to help with some of the equipment. He nodded, swallowing, and turned his attention back to the crew working on the stage.

When Kate brought her friends into the hall, she prepared herself for telling them the update of Jack's health, and found it very difficult to do so without breaking into tears. "The...the chemo's not working," she whispered, and Charlie blinked, folding his arms. "They had to raise the dose of his medicine, and he's been really miserable."

Claire covered her mouth with her hand for a moment, and reached for Charlie's hand. "It hasn't been that long, though," Charlie replied.

"The oncologist said they usually see some progress within a few weeks...some response from the cancer to the chemotherapy. It's basically a poison, and is supposed to attack the cancer cells." tears began to fall down her cheeks, and she apologized, having to turn away for a moment. Claire bit her lip, placing a hand against her back.

"Does his oncologist think he's going to be all right?" she asked, and Kate sniffed, wiping her eyes, and cleared her throat.

"We're trying to be optomistic," Kate answered.

"Is there anything you guys need?" Charlie asked. "We feel bad just going on with our lives as if..."

Kate touched his shoulder, giving him a stern look. "Don't say that," she begged. "Charlie, please...Jack wants everybody to go on as though nothing's changed. He won't get better if he's anxious about us."

Claire hugged herself, having to sit down a moment, and Kate knelt down in front of her. "Are you okay?" she asked, and Claire pulled her knees to her stomach.

"Yeah," she insisted, and Kate glanced at Charlie.

"I just wanted to make sure you two were aware of what's going on, in case...in case something happens."

Charlie nodded in understanding, and turned his gaze towards the door of the auditorium. "We should head back to make sure he's okay," he said, and Kate helped Claire to her feet. The three of them headed inside, and found Jack sound asleep in his seat.

"Jesus," Charlie breathed, and Kate went to ease him awake, insisting they go home.

"I'm fine," he croaked, and Kate raised her eyes at him. "Sorry...it's the heat." he struggled to stand, and nearly fell due to the pain in his knee. Kate caught him, sliding an arm around his waist.

"We have to go home and get you back into bed," she said sternly, and smiled at him when he caught her gaze.

"Thanks for coming out," Charlie told them as they made their way slowly towards the parking lot, and Kate nodded.

"You two are really good," she complimented. "Next time we'll stay longer."

Claire gave Kate a hug once Jack was in the car, and made her promise to let her know if anything changed.

"I will," Kate insisted, and then gave Charlie a hug. After they disappeared through the double doors, Kate slid into the driver's seat. Jack dozed against the window, his pale skin even more transparent in the sunlight. She reached over and touched his forehead, which felt mostly normal, and started the engine. She was barely on the highway when her cell phone rang, causing her to curse under her breath. Jack opened his eyes at the sudden noise and turned to her slowly, watching as she reached into her purse with one hand to grab her cell.

"Go back to sleep," she encouraged, and he turned his gaze towards the road. When Kate was able to glance at her caller ID, she recognized Sawyer's number immediately. "Shit," she grumbled, popping the cell open with her chin, and wished she could hold Jack's hand. Sawyer hadn't tried to contact her in at least two weeks, which she had a feeling was related to the hug she gave him in the apartment. "Hello?" she asked, and waited with bated breath for his response.

"Well hello there," Sawyer replied. "Long time no chat, Freckles. Beginning to think you and Jack fell off the face of the earth."

Kate sighed with relief as they pulled to a stop light, and frowned when Jack coughed.

"I should be saying the same thing about you," she said. "What happened last time? You practically ran out of our apartment."

Sawyer was quiet for a few moments, and the red light changed to a green one. "What did you expect?" he asked. "You told me you were pregnant, and it freaked me out."

Kate was grateful when she saw the apartment complex come into view, and put on her turn signal to go into the lot. "Freaked _you_ out?" she asked. "you knew Jack and I were trying to have a baby, and you were perfectly fine with it. Sawyer, I think we need to get together and talk about this one on one again...clearly there were some mixed signals."

He growled under his breath. "Fine," he grumbled. "When do you want to do this talk?"

"Well, Jack and I just got back from watching Charlie and Claire rehearse...he's not feeling well, so I'm going to make sure he's all right, but how about tomorrow night? We can meet on the boardwalk and get some pizza."

Sawyer sighed. "Fine with me."

"Okay. How's 7:30? I work from 9-5, so I have the evening free." she got out of the car after taking her purse, and went to help Jack climb out. He looked terrible, and she was half tempted to bring him straight to the hospital for a check up. He was clearly in a lot of pain, and could barely stand without gritting his teeth.

"All right, then," Sawyer replied. "7:30. And it's just you alone, right?" he asked, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Yes, it will just be me. Don't get any ideas," she added, and after saying goodbye, got a better grip on Jack.

"Let me guess," he grunted as he used Kate's shoulders for support, and she peered into his eyes.

"It was Sawyer," she added. "Jack, you really don't look that well at all...I shouldn't have brought you to the rehearsal..."

He shook his head as he limped along towards the main entrance, and kissed her temple. "I needed to get some fresh air," he insisted. "well, out of the apartment, anyway. So what did Sawyer want, anyway?"

Kate rubbed his back as they stood in the elevator, and leaned against him. "He's pretty freaked out about our baby," she admitted, and Jack raised his eyes. "I'm meeting him tomorrow on the boardwalk again...we have to talk."

Jack blew out his breath. "Kate, I really don't..." he paused and sneezed, nearly knocking the two of them sideways.

"Bless you," Kate chuckled, and he swallowed.

"I can't seem to shake this cold," he groaned, and she reached up to feel his forehead. "I really don't feel so good."

She nodded in understanding, and took the keys out so she could unlock their door. "I know," she replied. "and Jack, I promise nothing is going on between us. I just want to explain what's going on...not that he doesn't know, but I want him to understand how important this is to me...to us."

Jack frowned, and Kate hated how he still didn't quite trust her alone with Sawyer. Not that she blamed him, of course, but she knew she was completely happy where she was at the moment He wasw being a gentleman and didn't bring the subject up again, much to her relief.

Kate brought him into the bedroom and helped him out of his clothes, taking a look at his knee. "It's really swollen," she breathed, and he stretched it out very gingerly, closing his eyes as he fought the sharp pains. "I hope it's not infected."

Jack shook his head. "No," he insisted, sliding under the covers, and laying against the pillows. "It's from walking around so much, especially since I've been in bed for a while."

Kate stood after he was comfortable, and put her hands on her hips. "Well, if you're not feeling any better by tomorrow, we really should take you to the hospital to have this looked at, especially since you're still not getting over your cold. I'm afraid it might turn into pneumonia or something." she blew a strand of hair out of her face, and he smiled.

"Deal," he replied, and she bent down to give him a kiss.

"Okay." she glanced towards the kitchen. "I'm going to get you some juice and ibuprofin for your knee...is that okay?"

He nodded; the pain in his head was steadily overpowering the pain in his knee, and he came to the realization that most of his body ached. When Kate returned she handed him the glass and the two pills, watching as he swallowed them down. "Thank you," he whispered, setting the glass on the nightstand, and closed his eyes when Kate began massaging his shoulders. He eventually fell asleep again, and Kate left the room, giving him a bit of privacy.

She didn't get to bed until closer to 10:30 that night due to a good movie being on television, and frowned when she heard Jack's continuous coughing from down the hall. She crawled into bed with him after getting into her pajamas, and snuggled against his side. He stirred slightly at her touch, but didn't turn around as he usually did.

The coughing worsened as the night went on, and Kate eventually had to turn on the light and wake him up. "Jack," she hissed, shaking his shoulder, and realized just how hot he was. "Oh my God..." she reached over and felt his forehead, stunned. "Jack, wake up, sweetheart," she repeated, and he groaned softly, his eyes blinking open.

"What?" he asked, and Kate slid out of the bed.

"You're burning up," she said, and rushed into the bathroom to get the thermometer. Jack felt so dizzy as he lay in bed...every movement made the world spin around him. She hurried back out and encouraged him to sit up, placing the thermometer under his tongue. After a minute or so she pulled it out, and her eyes nearly bulged. "One hundred and four...we have to get you to the hospital," she gasped, and Jack grabbed her wrist, shaking his head anxiously. "I'm serious, Jack, you have a really high fever...I'm not taking any chances. You promised me if you didn't feel better this morning we'd go."

Jack managed a weak smile. "Not exactly morning, is it?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes.

"It technically is," she replied. "It's nearly one o'clock. Now you have two choices...either I take you or I have the ambulence drive you in."

Jack coughed, pain shooting through his chest, which certainly didn't help his knee. "You," he whispered, and she nodded, grabbing some clothes for him out of the dresser. Once he was in a t-shirt and jeans, she let him lean on her while they headed out of the apartment. Jack nearly collapsed with exhaustion once outside, and she had to shake him a little to regain consciousness. She felt her heart racing as they sped to the hospital, glancing at him from the corner of her eye. He was sweating from the heat outside and the fever, so she turned on the air conditioning to see if that gave him any relief.

Once in the emergency room, Jack was immediately admitted into a cubicle, where an IV was immediately inserted into his wrist. "How long has he been like this?" the nurse in charge asked, checking the dose of his chemotherapy and clucking her tongue.

"He's been sick all week, but he was starting to feel better," Kate explained, feeling tears fill her eyes. She couldn't believe she was here right now...it was a nightmare. "we went to watch friends of ours rehearse this afternoon, and he kind of went downhill from there."

The nurse nodded in understanding, blotting Jack's burning skin with a damp rag. He reached for Kate's hand, which she let him take hold of, and he managed to smile at her.

"Go back home and go to sleep," he whispered, and she stared.

"You are insane," she gasped. "Jack, I'm not leaving you here. Is it all right if I do stay?" she added quickly, and the nurse raised an eyebrow.

"We'll most likely keep him for a night or two," she replied. "depending on how he progresses. If you want to stay you can, but he probably wont get into a room for a while."

Kate nodded, sitting down next to the cot, and Jack snorted. "You're impossible," he teased, and she stuck out her tongue.

"One of the reasons why you love me," she replied, and he gritted his teeth, pain overtaking him again. Kate stroked his head for a few minutes as he slept, and decided she'd give Charlie a call. She tiptoed out of the cubicle and outside, knowing they weren't supposed to use cell phones in the building itself.

Charlie and Claire meanwhile, were sound asleep at their apartment, curled up in each other's arms. It had been a very long, exhausting day, and they were grateful to lay down a while. The shrill ring of the telephone shocked Claire out of her pleasant dream, and she heard Charlie mutter, "Whasat?" from beside her, half asleep still.

"Who could that be at this hour?" she thought out loud as she struggled out of bed, grimacing when Aaron began to cry. "Coming, I'm coming," she grumbled as she reached the kitchen and picked up the phone, glancing at the clock. It was just about 2, and she rubbed her eyes wearily. "Hello?" she asked, and her heart nearly stopped in mid beat when she heard Kate's voice on the other end.

"I know it's late," Kate told her friend as she leaned against the hospital wall, "but I had to take Jack to the hospital...he's running a really high fever."

Charlie came out of the bedroom and picked Aaron up from the crib, rocking the distressed toddler back to sleep. "What is it?" Charlie whispered, and Claire glanced at him, her pale blue eyes wide.

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked, and Kate felt her throat choking up as she heard someone's voice over the intercom.

"I don't know," she choked, and Claire lowered the phone so she tell Charlie what was going on.

"Jack's had to go to the hospital tonight," she explained, and Charlie closed his eyes, cursing under his breath.

"Is he okay?" he asked, and Claire shrugged.

"Kate, do you want us to come over there?" she asked, and Kate sniffed, uncrossing her leg and straightening up.

"God no, it's too late for you guys to be out, especially with Aaron."

Charlie pulled Claire into a hug as she struggled not to cry, and Claire had to hand him the phone, not trusting herself to talk. She took Aaron into her arms and held him tightly to her chest, which wasn't an easy task with her increasingly large stomach.

"Kate, it's me. Listen, we'll be there when the sun comes up. Is he conscious at least?"

Kate nodded. "Yeah...he's just really out of it. They have him on antibiotics right now, and we're waiting to have him moved to a regular room. The nurse thinks he'll be here for a few nights, until his temperature stabilizes anyway." she wiped her eyes.

"Are you staying over?" Charlie asked, encouraging Claire to go back into their bedroom, and she did so, shushing Aaron gently.

"Yes," Kate replied. "I'm staying with him. At least for tonight...I'm calling out from work tomorrow, because I want to be here in case we get any results from the blood work they just did."

Charlie gave a low whistle, feeling terrible for his friends. "Okay. Make sure you get some sleep or you'll wind up in the same position," he warned. "Got to look out for the little one now."

Kate touched her stomach again at his comment, and after saying good night, she slid the cell phone into her pocket, and hurried back into the hospital.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Jack wasn't brought into a regular room until nearly five, and his condition hadn't improved very much. Kate sat by his side, using the edge of the mattress as her pillow when she grew tired. Dr. Olina came to see them when she arrived at the hospital, and it was clear she was worried.

"I had my fears this would happen," she told Kate after running a few tests. "This second round of cancer is much stronger than the first, and his immune system is very weak right now."

Jack made a small noise and moved restlessly, his head turning towards the window.

"Do you think he really has a chance?" Kate asked, wrapping her arms around herself. "I mean, he'll recover from the flu, but..." she wet her lips, not wanting to say what was on her mind.

"Kate, there's always a chance," Dr. Olina replied. "he's proving himself a very strong fighter through all of this. He also has quite a bit of time left to go with his treatment, so we can't say anything definite yet."

Kate nodded. "How long will he have to stay here at the hospital?" she glanced at him when he broke into another coughing fit, and she went to ease him into a sitting position. "Calm down," she soothed. "calm down, honey."

He managed to take a deep breath, gripping her hand. "I would keep him here for at least a coule of days," Dr. Olina said. "until his temperature stabilizes and he starts to feel more like himself...relatively," she added, when Kate raised an eyebrow. "As for you, Mrs. Shepard, I would recommend you leave for home and spend a normal night in bed. It's not healthy to be here all night, especially when you're expecting."

Kate sighed, watching as Jack settled back against the pillows, closing his eyes again.

"Kate," Dr. Olina added, and she jumped, fiddling with the wedding ring on her finger.

"All right," she muttered, and the oncologist touched her shoulder before leaving the room. She went to sit next to the bed, smoothing Jack's cheek with her fingertips. He gave a rather violent sneeze a moment later, and she smirked as his eyes opened, and reached for the box of tissues. "Bless you," she said after he took one, and slipped an arm around his waist.

"What's going on?" Jack asked, clearing his throat, and she lowered her head.

"You have the flu, Jack...they're keeping you here for a few nights just for observation."

Jack blew his nose again, collapsing with exhaustion. "Kate, shouldn't you be at work right now?" he asked, and she rolled her eyes, placing his hand against her lips.

"I called off so I could be with you here, you idiot," she teased. "did you think I could make myself go to work after all that happened last night?"

Jack shrugged, grimacing as his pain shot through his knee. "Mmmm." he gazed up at the ceiling. "And what about your meeting with Sawyer tonight?" he glanced at her again, and Kate slumped in her chair, her expression going slack.

"I'm not going to meet him," she answered, and Jack stared at her with surprise. "Don't look at me like that," she added. "you have to relax and trust me. Okay?" she bent forward to kiss his cheek, and Jack frowned, about to speak just as there was a knock on the door. She went to open it, and saw Charlie and Claire waiting, both looking anxious. "Hey," she breathed, giving each of them a hug. Jack struggled to sit up with an attempt to look healthier, but Charlie refused to let him.

"Just take it easy, mate," he encouraged, and Jack smiled weakly.

"How are you feeling?" Claire asked as she went to the bedside, and took Jack's hand, squeezing it tightly. "I feel responsible...I invited you to see us rehearse..."

Jack shook his head, reaching up to touch her cheek. "Hey," he began, his voice raspy. "it's not your fault. I could have said no, but I chose to come with Kate. If it's anyone's fault why I'm here, it's mine."

Kate stroked the back of his head from where she sat on his other side, not liking how the heat radiated intensley from his skin.

"I hate seeing you in here," Claire choked, and Charlie placed a hand on her back.

"Don't start with the waterworks," he warned, and she apologized, wiping her eyes. "Jack's here just for safety measures. They're already pumping him with antibiotics, see?" he pointed to the IV pole, and Claire nodded.

"I know," she replied. "Jack, I'm sorry...I'm pregnant, so my emotions are all over the place."

Jack managed a faint laugh, and Kate encouraged her friend to sit down and rest a while. Claire smiled as she took the chair, and watched as Charlie felt his friend's forehead curiously.

"So have they figured out what's wrong, yet?" he asked, and Kate sat on the edge of the bed, relieved when he began to stroke the ends of her hair.

"They said it's a pretty nasty case of the flu," Kate replied. "that would explain a lot of the symptoms he had yesterday."

Jack coughed, massaging his chest, and leaned against her for support. "I see," Charlie said quietly. "is there anything you want us to bring back here? Books? Magazines?"

Jack shook his head; the idea of persuing anything intellectual made his head ache worse than it already did. "No," he insisted. "thanks, Charlie. I think I'll be sleeping most of the time." he yawned, and then turned back to his friends. "Who's with Aaron?" he asked, and Claire held onto Charlie's hand, glancing at him.

"He's with a sitter," she insisted, and Charlie watched as she tightened her hair, which was pulled into a messy bun. Jack was able to keep alert for about a half hour, and Claire nudged her boyfriend's shoulder when he began to doze off.

"Kate, can I speak with you in the hall real fast?" Charlie asked, and Claire blinked with surprise, wondering what on earth he was going on about. Kate nodded, telling Claire they wouldn't be long, and shut the door once they were outside.

"What's up?" she asked, and Charlie leaned against the wall, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I've decided to ask Claire to marry me," he began, and Kate's eyes widened with shock.

"Seriously?" she asked, and he turned red as an apple. "Charlie, that's wonderful! Have you gotten a ring?"

He nodded, fiddling with the own jewelry on his hands. "Yeah...I got it the other night, but I've been debating about how to go about giving it to her. And now that Jack's here in the hospital, I'm not sure the timing's right."

Kate was unable to stop smiling, and put her hands on his shoulders. "You'll come up with a great plan, Charlie. She'll be so happy...she needs the good news."

Charlie smiled, hoping she was right. "You don't think it's too early?" he asked, and Kate shook her head.

"It's as good a time as any," she promised. "You two have been friends for a long time. Some couples dcide to marry much quicker, so I think if you feel you're ready, go for it. You definitely did the right thing living together for a while."

Charlie looked relieved by her response, and after giving his thanks, the two of them slipped back into the room. Claire sat keeping her eye on Jack, chewing on her nail.

"Everything all right?" she whispered, and Charlie nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Just peachy. We should go...he needs peace and quiet."

Kate thanked them both for coming, keeping an eye on her husband as she saw them out. When she turned back, she decided she would call Sawyer and cancel her plans with him that night. She kissed Jack on the forehead and promised she'd be right back, and he watched her leave with a tired smile on his face. "Hey," he called, causing her to turn around with surprise. "I'm sorry," he added, and she shook her head. "I do trust y..." he paused and sneezed, cursing and she came over to squeeze his arm. "You," he finished. "I just don't trust Sawyer."

She blinked. "What?" she asked. "you talked with him on the beach and said it seemed fine."

Jack shrugged. "I hate how everything's always a big secret with him. Why can't he just express himself honestly when I'm there?"

Kate cocked her head to one side. "You're not exactly one to indulge in your feelings, doctor," she replied, her smile returning.

Jack rolled his eyes, and she gave him a kiss. "Truce," he coughed, and took the cup of water from the night table. He watched as Kate went out to use her cell phone, wishing visitors could use it in the building. Unfortunately she got Sawyer's voice mail, and her own voice shook as she explained her dilemma. When she hung up, she covered her face with her hands, and let the tears come. She was so angry to see her husband in this position; couldn't they ever catch a break? She tried to think of Charlie's news about his inpending engagement, but Jack's deathly pale face and exhausted eyes kept creeping into her eyes. She forced herself to stop crying after a few moments, and wiped her eyes, going back into the hospital.

She sat by Jack's bed for the next couple of hours, watching as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Different nurses came to check on him periodically, and Dr. Olina appeared again to adjust his chemo towards mid-evening. It wasn't until the dinner tray arrived that they received another visitor; this one highly unexpected. Kate was reading a magazine she'd picked up from the gift shop, meanwhile trying to coax Jack into eating what he could.

"Don't be such a hypocrite," she teased. "you make other patients eat this. The least you could do is try a little."

Jack rolled his eyes, forcing himself to take down a bit of the bland chicken broth. Kate was halfway through an article about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise when there was a knock on the door, startling her. "Can't be another nurse already," she thought, checking her watch, and Jack set down his bowl, unable to stomach anymore. He adjusted his body under the covers, and watched as Kate struggled to get up from the chair.

When she opened it, Sawyer stood in front of her, holding a paper bag in his hands. "Well, isn't exactly the ideal place for a visit, Freckles, but you do get a few points for being original."

Jack's face turned crimson when Sawyer came in, and Kate was clearly surprised by the fact that her mouth was hanging open.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, stunned, and Sawyer set the books down on the chair.

"Well, you couldn't expect me to just hang out at home and wait for news, could you? Heck no! I thought you would have figured out by now that I'm not exactly the passive type."

Kate sighed, nodding in understanding, and went to take Jack's hand. "What's in the bag?" she asked, and Sawyer reached in, pulling out a few worn paperbacks. She fought back a laugh, because Jack refused Charlie's offer earlier that day.

"Thought I'd bring over some reading material before you end up dying of boredom," Sawyer replied.

"Watership down? You're still holding onto that?" Kate asked, and Sawyer smirked.

"As I said, it's a hell of a book. Classic. So, doc, what's the update?" he asked, sitting down, and Jack glanced at Kate awkwardly.

"Um..." Jack fought for his voice, sighed. "I'm going to be here for a few days...mainly for observation."

"So, any diagnosis of what caused the fever to spike up like that?" Sawyer peered at Kate, who nudged Jack's shoulder, encouraging him to answer.

"The flu," she replied. "he'll be all right, though."

Jack looked from one to the other, and held up his hands. "All right, since you're both here, I'm laying my cards out on the table. Sawyer, clearly something about our having a baby is making you uncomfortable, or else Kate wouldn't have set up a meeting with you on the boardwalk. Do you mind telling us how you really feel about this?"

Kate squeezed Jack's shoulder, not wanting him to get over excited, but he didn't seem to notice. Sawyer, however, appeared defeated.

"Ahh, yeah...well, I guess it was an asshole move on my part, considering we had that heart to heart on the beach before all this." he motioned around the room. "but I had to go home and think about it a while...kind of let it soak in, you know?"

Jack's lips tightened, and Kate touched him on the arm. "Sawyer, you knew we were going to have a baby. At least, I told you we were trying..."

"Yeah? Well, truth be told, that doesn't always mean anything."

Kate scowled. "You were hoping it wouldn't happen?" she felt Jack's body tense under her grip.

"If you don't want to be the godfather why not just say it?" Jack asked, and Kate glanced at him.

"That's not what I..." Sawyer looked over his shoulder towards the door. "I wanted her to ask me a third time," he added, pointing to Kate. "if she asks me again, she means it. I don't want the position if either of you don't want me to have it."

Jack started to but in, but Kate covered his mouth with her hand. "I want you to be our baby's godfather. I know you can do it, Sawyer. Once he or she's born, you'll have an easier time coming to grips with it." she released her hand from Jack, who relaxed against the headboard.

"Why?" Sawyer asked, and Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Why what?" she excused herself to go to the bathroom, where she dampened another cloth, and brought it to Jack, blotting his forehead and cheeks.

"Why me? You have Charlie, Jin..."

"They have their own kids to worry about," Kate replied. "You could give our baby great protection. I know that, Sawyer."

Jack let out a small noise of discomfort, the fever raging through his body, making him feel hot and cold at the same time.

"Even after all I did to you?" he asked, and Kate smiled.

"I knew there was always someone good inside you," she insisted, and Sawyer lowered his head a moment, before looking at Jack.

"Thanks," Sawyer replied, standing up. "Well, I should go...looks like the doc's getting a little loopy."

Kate frowned at Jack's feverish eyes. "Thank's for stopping by," she added, and Sawyer saluted her, heading out the door. When he was gone, Kate took Jack's hand, which was ice cold, and pulled the blanket close to his chin.

"Kate?" he whispered, and she touched his chest. "I love you," he added, and she choked on a sob, nodding her agreement.

"I love you too," she replied, squeezing his hand. "I love you."

Jack's eyes closed, and he drifted off to sleep again.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Kate didn't sleep well that nigh. She'd gone home as Jack instructed (well--more or less begged), and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get comfortable. She kept having nightmares from the island; visions of Jack being tortured by electric shock, hit, and verbally insulted at the hands of the Others. Tears stained her pillow while she tossed and turned, needing desparately to feel him beside her. When she finally awoke, it was due to a violent wave of nausea, which sent her running for the bathroom for the first time in two weeks.

"Jack..." she sobbed between retching, "I need you." she finally drifted back to sleep around two in the morning, rudely awoken by her alarm clock.

Kate lay in bed with her eyes open, staring at the sun-kissed ceiling. Her head throbbed when she forced herself to sit up, dreading the thought of having to work an eight hour shift. She felt better once she showered, and knew work would at least help distract her as it usually did.

As she stood in line at Starbucks about a half hour later for her usual cup of coffee, the dreams from the night before plagued her memory. She hadn't experienced such nightmares since she married Jack--it was as though he were her personal shield. She didn't realize she'd been in her own world until the man behind her gave her a tap on the arm. "Miss?" he asked, and she looked over her shoulder, jumping when she realized where she was.

"Sorry," she apologized, and stepped up to the cashier, who waited patiently by the register. After rattling off what she wanted from the menu, Kate headed to her car and blew on the steaming liquid before taking a sip. As she drove towards _The Palace, _she hoped Jack had a better night than she did. She pulled into the restaraunt's parking lot ten minutes later, grabbing her apron and her purse before dashing into the air conditioned building.

Later that afternoon, in a comfortable, spacious house deep in the suburbs of Beverly Hills, Margo Shepard sat at her late husband's desk. She cupped her hands over her mouth, medium-height, plumpish body trembling. She'd just returned from a rather lengthy trip to Europe, to discover her son's cancer had returned.

Margo leaned back against the chair, leather and slightly torn. She and Jack weren't on speaking terms at the moment...she'd only heard from him once since his rescue from the island. She'd heard about the crash of the Oceanic Flight 815 on the news, and after six months passed without any news on the findings of the wreckage or survivors, she'd consented to believe her son and husband were lost forever. Of course, Jack returned mostly unscathed, just to give her the news that Christian was dead. He'd passed away from a heart attack in Australia, which was a result of too much alcohol.

Margo remembered the coolness to her son's voice, and hadn't heard from him again. Europe was the only place the middle-aged widow could think of as a place of escape; she needed to sort through her thoughts, and a change of scenery would do her good. She spent weeks traveling through London, Paris, Ireland...and half of her wished she'd remained there. Unfortunately, home beckoned, and here she sat...alone.

The idea that alcohol killed her husband seemed outrageous; of course, she couldn't deny the fact that he liked to drink. Actually, he probably consumed more alcohol on a daily basis than was healthy, but he didn't let that affect their relationship.

As Margo sat turning her half-filled glass of water on the desk, she glanced at the most recent photograph taken of her and Christian. She missed his presence so much, and even though he was dead, she felt as though he were still with her. Sipping shakily from the water, Margo glanced up at the ceiling. She couldn't believe how drastically her life was changing; Jack was not only ill with cancer, but he was in the hospital fighting influenza.

After a couple more minutes, she decided to visit him there, determined for answers. _Even though he tries to deny it, I am still his mother, _she thought, grabbing her purse from the kitchen counter, and rushed out to her car.

When she arrived at the hospital, Margo was greeted by a number of her husband's colleagues. She knew many of the doctors and nurses, who attended company dinners or black tie benefits over the past few years.

"Your son is in good hands," Dr. Alston explained. "He should be released tomorrow...the antibiotics are helping quite a bit."

Margo nodded, telling herself not to loose her temper...not here. She arrived on Jack's floor, fiddling with the button of her sweater, and pushed open the door to his room when she reached it. Jack lay in bed watching a baseball game, and turned when he felt someone standing in the doorway.

"Mom?" he croaked, and watched as the muscles twitched in her lower jaw. "What are you doing here?" he struggled to sit up, still bit sore.

"I think I should be the one questioning you," she replied, taking a seat. "I bumped into your oncologist while in the supermarket yesterday. I had to stand there looking like an idiot when she updated me on your condition. How could you not tell me, Jack?"

He regarded her with icy eyes, coughing roughly. He missed Kate, and realized with a start that he never told his mother about her. She hadn't been invited to the wedding, either, due to the fact that he cut off all communication after his arrival back in the states.

"I honestly didnt thik you'd care either way whether I lived or died, to be honest," he answered, and Margo's eyes flashed.

"How dare you say such a thing?" she asked. "I only wanted the three of us to be happy! I never..." she paused.

"Not exactly how I saw it, Mom," Jack replied. "You only cared about making Dad happy. You saw right through him."

Margo scowled, realizing just how ill and exhausted he appeared. She'd been there through his first bout of cancer, and remembered how much it pained her to see his health deteriorating. Luckily he'd overcome the attack, and restored much of his strength in time.

"Jack, what you did was heartless and inconsiderate," she hissed. "your father made one mistake! He's done so much for you...he's been hard on you, because he wanted you to stand up for yourself, to provide you with self confidence."

"One mistake that cost someone's life, Mom!" Jack exclaimed. "Jesus, it's not like he got a DUI or something! Mistake or not, an innocent person is dead because of it. To me, that's all that matters...I wasn't about to let it happen again. Truth be told, it wasnt far fetched that it could have."

Margo glared at him, but decided not to argue the point further. "Lay down, Jack...you don't want to strain yourself." she set her purse down on the floor, and reached up to feel his forehead. He jerked away, not wanting her to touch him.

"Jack, I may not have been the best mother...I'll admit that. But I have tried to do my best in raising you properly, as much as you try to deny it."

Jack stared at the opposite wall, unable to believe this was happening. The last person he wanted to see right now was his mother; she'd caught him in a vulnerable state, when he didn't have the energy to fight back as strongly he normally would have. "The situation with your father aside, I want to try and start over again, Jack. I was in Europe for about a month after you came back from the...the island, with the intention of clearing my head and trying to figure out what was going on with my life. I wish things didn't happen as they did, but they..." she paused when the door to the room opened, and Kate peeped through, her expression changing immediately after seeing the strange woman sitting in her usual spot.

Jack heard the door squeaking, and turned his head, his stomach clenching with anxiety. For a few moments Kate and his mother stared at one another, unsure of whether or not to speak.

"May I help you?" Margo finally asked, and Kate hiked her eyebrow at Jack, which was cue for her wanting an explination.

"Mom," Jack began slowly, swallowing past his dry throat. "I'd like you to meet my wife, formerly Kate Austen. Kate, come in, it's okay."

Kate did as she was told, shutting the door, and set down her bag. "Mrs. Shepard...it's a pleasure," she said, holding out her hand, which Margo didn't accept. Kate lowered it again, clencing her fists and opening them again.

"Wife?" Margo asked, and Jack closed his eyes, massaging his forehead.

"Mom, I think you should go...I'll tell you everything when I get out of here, okay?"

Margo stood up. "I don't think so," she retorted. "Jack, what is the meaning of this? Who is she...where did she come from?"

Kate felt like bolting for the door, but when Jack encouraged her to come and stand on the opposite side of his bed, she did so without hesitation. He took her hand and squeezed it, giving her his familiar, 'Everything's gonna be fine' look.

"Mom, sit down and take a deep breath," Jack said, which his mother did, though she looked like she were ready to faint. "Kate and I met on the island...she was on the plane."

Kate wet her lips, hating the expression of loathing Margo shot her.

"I see," Margo replied. "And...is there a reason why you chose not to inform me of this so called wedding?"

Jack sighed. "Mom, we weren't exactly on speaking terms at the time," he admitted, and Margo glared at Kate again.

"I would assume you have the intelligence to speak for yourself, young lady," she said, and Jack felt his body bristle with anger. He hated how his mother immediately felt anger and hatred towards Kate, the woman who understood his soul better than anyone.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry," Kate apologized. "I'm sorry you're getting the wrong impression of me. Jack and I met on the beach...he needed someone to stitch up a wound in his back, because he couldn't reach it himself, and I was the first person who discovered him. After that we've been helping each other survive; I only want the best for your son."

Margo tightened her lips. "And what is it you do, Kate?" her voice was still so cold, and Jack wished she would leave. He hated seeing the fear in Kate's eyes, something he'd hoped to extinguish forever after they said their vows.

"Mom, don't take this out on her," he ordered. "you're angry with me. Kate has nothing to do with our problems."

"I think I'll make that decision," Margo hissed. "Now, have you been to college? Do you have a career?"

Kate hesitated; the last thing she wanted to do was tell Jack's mother of her criminal past. That certianly would not have gone over well. "I er...I'm working for _The Palace,_" she replied. "As a waitress. I never went to college, but I decided to travel after I graduated high school. That's how I wound up in Australia...but I ran out of money, so I worked on this guy's farm until I could earn my fare back to the states." she knew it sounded ridiculous, but part of her story was true.

"I see," Margo replied. "and is that all you see yourself doing in the future?"

"Mom, that's enough," Jack ordered. "I think you've exhausted your visit...I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Margo stared at him. "Excuse me?" she asked, and Kate touched Jack's shoulder.

"Honey, I can leave..." she whispered, and he shook his head.

"No," he said. "if my Mom doesn't approve of the woman I love and care about more than life itself, then she can remove herself from the situation."

Margo stood again, her arms tight at her sides. "Jack, this is far from over," she snarled, grabbing her purse, and with one last icy look at Kate, stormed out of the room. When the door shut with a light slam, Kate lowered her forehead against her husband's shoulder.

"Oh my God," she groaned, and he planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"It's okay," he promised. "We're not going to let her get in the way." he touched her cheek, kissing her lips.

"Did you see the way she looked at me?" Kate squeaked. "I've never felt more naked in my life." she sat down on the mattress, and stared at the television set. Jack rubbed her back gently, furious at his mother's childish behavior. "Jack, I wish you'd let her come to the wedding."

He sighed. "That wouldn't have made a difference, Kate," he replied, offering her a can of ginger ale he'd been given earlier, which he hadn't opened. She accepted it, but her stomach was churning a little after her confrontation. "She's very stubborn when it comes to her perfect view of who would be a good match for me. In fact, she was devastated when Sarah and I divorced...apparently they hit it off...I kept wondering if they would have made a better couple."

Kate managed a small laugh as she took a sip from the bitter soda, tapping her fingers on the can. "So...how was your night?" he wanted desparately to change the subject, and Kate looked at him. "That bad, huh?" he brushed a strand of her hair away from her eyes, and she nodded.

"It was terrible," she admitted. "I missed you so much, you have no idea. I had nightmares about the island again."

He lowered his head for a moment, wetting his lips, and then looked into her eyes. "What kind of nightmares?" he coughed, and Kate sighed.

"About you," she replied quietly, and he stared. "Jack..."

"No," he answered, and she frowned.

"You didn't even know what I was going to ask," she said, and he turned towards the door.

"We've already determined that we can read each other's thoughts, so that's what I'm doing, and No," he repeated, and she scowled.

"This isn't fair, Jack...you know everything that happened with Sawyer and I in the cages...why can't you just tell me? It's not like I'm going to broadcast it all over the country! I still feel like I'm being punished for what I did."

Jack cleared his throat. "I told you I'd tell you when I was ready," he replied, and she pursed her lips.

"Fine," she said. "then I'll tell you what happened in my dream, and I'll be able to tell by the your face if what happened in them is true or not."

Jack narrowed his eyes at her; Kate was just as stubborn as his mother, and sometimes moreso. "You're pathetic," he laughed, and Kate puched him on the shoulder.

"Can't you just let it go?" he asked, and she folded her arms.

"No," she said. "I had to explain myself, so I'd expect you to do the same."

Jack rolled his eyes, and lay down again, pulling the blankets over his head. She pulled them up again, and lowered her head. "You'll never hide from me," she said, and he made a face.

"I'm not exactly in the proper mental state to tell you what happened," he said. "When I'm feeling a little better, I promise."

"You have to pinky swear it," Kate said, once Jack lowered the blankets again, and he watched as she lifted her pinky. "Jack, we promised to tell each other everything from now on..."

"Isn't pinky swearing a bit childish?" Jack chuckled, and she made a frown. "All right, all right." he locked pinkies with her, and she hugged him, placing a hand against his forehead.

"You feel much cooler," she pointed out, as she continued to drink her soda, and Jack smiled. "Did the doctor say when he would let you come home?"

Jack yawned, and nodded. "Tomorrow," he replied, and she let out a small squeal of delight.

"Thank God!" she replied, hugging him again, and not letting go as quickly this time. Just holding him in her arms was enough; and having him return the gesture. When he had to let go to sneeze, she reached for the box of tissues and handed them to him. The nurse eventually came in to give him dinner, which Kate was pleased to find him eating without the need for her coaxing. Once the tray was taken away, Kate sat talking to Jack about everything that had happened at home since he'd been admitted, promising that she was keeping up with cleaning. When he finally grew too tired to continue talking, she let him sleep, and he allowed her to stay again that night. In fact, she crawled into the twin-sized bed beside him, feeling safe once more.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

As the doctor predicted, Jack was able to leave the following morning. He was still pale and shaky from having been so sick, but his fever had broken over night. "I would recommend you stay in bed for at least another couple of days," Dr. Alston explained after his patient was sitting in the wheel chair provided. Kate held onto the handles, her heart swelling; her husband was coming back home. "You're body is still trying to recover, so I wouldn't recommend rushing into things."

Jack nodded, reaching up to take Kate's hand, squeezing it gently. The events from the previous day with his mother's surprise visit seemed like a distant at this point; he'd gone into a deep sleep that night, and everything that happened beforehand was a bit hazy. After giving Jack his antibiotics in a bottle, Dr. Alston walked with them down to the front doors. "Jack, have you given thought about taking leave until your chemotherapy treatments are done?" Dr. Alston asked before going outside, and Jack looked up.

"I haven't," he admitted, excusing himself for a moment, and sneezing roughly. Kate frowned, massaging his shoulders. "I'll have to give it some thought once I'm home." he rubbed his nose, desparate to crawl back into bed and sleep.

"I would seriously consider it, Jack," Dr. Alston continued, and Kate smiled at him. "You need to take it easy, and being here isn't helping your stress level."

Jack nodded in understanding, promising he'd give it good consideration, and Kate wheeled him to the car. They sat in silence most of the ride back to the apartment, and Kate turned to him.

"I'm so glad you're coming home with me," she said, and he nodded, stretching out his leg a little.

"As much as I wish you'd gone back to the apartment more often, I'm glad you didn't at the same time," he replied, and she wished she weren't driving so she could lean over and kiss him.

Once back in the apartment, she tucked him into bed, providing a glass of juice for him on the bedside table. "I'm going to go and check to see if we have any messages," she added, and he groaned, giving her a pathetic look of disappointment. She bent down to kiss him, promising she'd return shortly. Kate went into the living room to push the 'play' button on the answering machine, and wasn't surprised that Margo Shepard's message was the first of 4. Kate listened, feeling a bit apprehensive. She really didn't like that woman, not at all.

She flipped through the rest of the voice mails, finding one from Sun, one from her boss calling to make sure Jack was all right and when would she be returning back to work. The fourth one was from Sawyer, naturally, who told her to call him when they were settled. Kate went into the kitchen to fill a glass with juice, bringing it into the bedroom. Jack lay waiting for her, looking tired but comfortable. He thanked her when she handed him the glass, and between small sips, asked if anyone important had called.

"Your Mom," Kate sighed, and Jack paused in mid-sip.

"What?" he cleared his throat, setting the glass on the nightstand. "What did she say?"

Kate hopped up onto the bed so she was laying beside him, and he slipped an arm around her waist. "She wants you two to get together so you can work out your differences," she sighed,and watched as Jack massaged his forehead. He was furious with his mother for intruding uninvited to begin with, and then bashing Kate without even giving her a chance. "Jack, forgive me if I'm stepping out of bounds, but at least you have a mother who truly cares about you, even if something terrible happened." she frowned deeply, remembering how her own mother abandoned her after she'd blown up her stepfather.

"Kate..." Jack began slowly, and she lowered her head. "I don't want her to hurt you again."

Kate kissed him. "I can take it," she chuckled. "Believe me...if I can put up with an obsessive US Marshall, I can deal with your Mom."

Jack sighed, lacing his fingers through hers. "Well, she's going to have to wait until I'm back on my feet before I call her," he said. "I don't think I'm strong enough to handle it right now."

Kate hugged him. "And there's the unspoken subject of your taking a medical leave," she added, and he started to protest, but she covered his mouth with her hand. "Jack, I really think Dr. Alston has a good point. You need to take it easy from now on...being this sick and working with other patients isn't going to be helpful to anyone."

Jack sniffed, still congested, and blew out his breath. "Kate, let me think about it for a while," he begged. "I just got home." he kissed her, and she hugged him tight, pressing her lips against the tatoo on his shoulder. He smiled faintly as she continued to hold him, and returned the gesture a few seconds later. "I love you," he said, touching her cheek with the palm of his hand. "Get some rest."

Kate was grateful to slide under the covers with her husband, cuddling as close to his side as she could. She listened as his breathing evened out after a couple of minutes, before closing her own eyes, a great sense of peace filling her body.

Jack's health improved gradually over the next week; Kate went back to work as soon as she was certain he'd be all right alone, and found it easy to slip back into her old routine. On Friday night, Charlie and Claire brought over a pizza for dinner, welcoming their friend home. For a surprise, they brought Aaron, who Jack took an immediate attachment to as usual. Before they put the little toddler in the crib so they could eat, Jack held him as much as he could. Kate beamed at the sight of her husband with his godson; he was a natural with children.

"We're planning on using classic numbers as well as Charlie's original stuff," Claire explained as they sat in the living room after dinner, listening to music. Jack held Aaron in his arms, occasionally bouncing the baby on his knee. Aaron seemed perfectly content on Jack's lap, gurgling happily as he held onto Jack's finger.

"You all everybody!" Charlie sung loudly, and Aaron let out a cry of alarm, which caused Jack to protectively hug him, peering into the child's large blue eyes.

"Daddy's not that bad, is he?" Jack asked with a chuckle, and Claire bit her lip, looking at Charlie, who stood up, clearing his throat.

"I'd like to have everyone's attention," he announced, and Claire beamed, her face turning bright red. "I have asked Claire to marry me."

Silence filled the air, and after a moment, Kate stood to embrace both of her friends. "When?" she breathed, knowing Charlie had wanted to propose while Jack was in the hospital, but didn't know when the best time would be.

"He asked me last night," Claire replied, jumping up and down, and Jack grinned.

"Congratulations," he said. "what does the ring look like?"

Claire blushed again, reaching under her shirt and pulling the ring up on a silver chain. Kate and Jack exchanged amused glances, and Charlie folded his arms, trying very hard not to laugh.

"My fingers are too fat right now, so it wouldn't fit," Claire explained. "Once I have the baby I'll be able to wear it."

Kate examined the ring, unable to stop smiling. She craved good news, especially since most of her life at the moment was ridden with anxiety over Jack's situation.

"When are you having the wedding?" Jack asked, coughing a little, and adjusted Aaron on his lap.

"Next year," Claire answered. "February 14th...cupid was definitely in our favor." she winked, and Jack chuckled, coughing again. "Jack, are you sure you don't want me to take Aaron? You've been holding him for almost an hour now."

Jack finally agreed to give him up for the time being, but Aaron began whimpering as soon as he left his godfather's arms.

"Oh now," Claire shushed gently, "it's all right, honey, Jack's still right here."

Kate came and sat down next to her husband, linking her arm through his. He pressed his head against hers, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Jack, I already want you for my best man," Charlie said, grinning as he sat on the chair off to the side. Jack smiled sadly, and nodded in agreement.

"I would be honored," he replied, and Claire insisted Kate be her maid of honor. They continued discussing possible wedding locations, everywhere but a tropical island of course.

"We wanted to wait, because we'll be pretty busy with the concerts," Claire said, "and I really want it to be memorable."

Charlie nodded, and Kate turned to Jack, who was looking towards the window. "What's wrong, honey?" she asked, massaging his cheek with the back of her hand.

"I'm going to get some fresh air on the patio...I need a moment," he said, and glanced at his guests, who were watching worriedly. Charlie asked Kate if they should go, and she shook her head.

"No, he'll be all right. I'll be right back." she stood up and went to join Jack on the patio, watching as he leaned on the railing, gazing over the sparkling city lights. The breeze was gentle and cool, which made him shiver a little after a moment.

"Hey," Kate spoke quietly, and he turned to look at her.

"Kate, I said I wanted to be alone for a little while," he said, and she came to stand beside him.

"Jack, what's going on?" she asked, and he sighed heavily.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just...hearing all of this talk about next year...Charlie and Claire's wedding...I'm scared that I might not..." he pressed the back of his knuckles against his mouth, and Kate pulled him close.

"Jack, don't you dare even think about that," she hissed. "You're going to be fine," she insisted. "Look at me."

He raised his eyes to hers, and Kate wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'm just scared..."

She nodded. "I know, sweetheart, so am I," she agreed. "but we have to be optomistic...you're going to beat this. We're going to beat it. Let's go back in before they think we've lost our minds, huh?" she took his hand and let him take a second or two to compose himself, before opening the sliding door. Charlie and Claire sat waiting patiently for them, and when they inquired if everything was all right, Kate nodded.

"He had a headache," she explained, and Claire got up so Jack could sit again. "Oh, we forgot to tell you," she added, and Claire raised her eyes. "Jack's Mom made a surprise visit to the hospital the last day he was there."

Charlie whistled softly, and leaned back a little. "I'm guessing it didn't go over too well," he replied,and she shook her head.

"No," she answered, and Jack folded his arms.

"We haven't exactly been on speaking terms since I came back from the island," he explained, "but she found out my cancer came back when she ran into my oncologist in the supermarket."

Claire shook her head, in the middle of giving Aaron his dinner. "Why weren't you on speaking terms?" Charlie asked. "you don't have to tell me if it's too painful or something."

Jack glanced at Kate, who held his hand. "No, it's okay," Jack promised. "She was furious with me when my father lost his job at the hospital. He ran off to Australia, so she sent me to find him, with the idea that she'd never see me again if I didn't."

Claire looked slightly guilty; the only reason Christian Shepard had been to Australia, was due to her mother's injuries from the car accident she caused. He'd been helping pay the hospital bills, only a month or so before Claire left for LA to find the family who planned on adopting Aaron.

"I wondered why I didn't see any of your relatives at the wedding," Charlie admitted. "What did she say when she heard about it?"

Jack looked at Kate, who was frowning deeply, and sniffed. "Let's just say she thinks I'm white trailer trash," Kate spoke up, and Claire nearly choked on the sip of soda she'd just taken.

"What?" she exclaimed. "How can she even say that? You're so sweet!"

It was Kate's turn to blush, and Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "My Mom's a first class snob," he replied. "she looks down on anyone who isnt considered to be on her status level. In fact, she practically cried when she found out my first wife Sarah and I were getting a divorce." he shook his head.

"So what now? Does she know you're pregnant?" Claire asked, and Kate shook her head.

"No," she admitted. "she left before we got a chance to say anything."

Jack pressed his lips to her temple, and smiled. "That sucks, mate," Charlie replied. "Sorry to hear it. Are you ever going to tell her? I mean..." he shrugged, and Jack straightened up a little.

"I'm going to pay her a visit next week sometime...I don't know what'll happen, though," he said,and Kate gave him a hug, just as Aaron began fussing again.

"Uh oh," Claire chuckled. "looks like one of our men is ready for bed." she checked her watch, and read it was almost 8:30. "Kate, I'm sorry, but I think we need to get going...it's late and Aaron's usually in bed by now."

Kate stood up to give her friends a hand in getting their stuff together, and Jack thanked them for dinner and hanging out.

"Anytime," Charlie said. "I'm glad you're feeling better, Jack. Take it easy, huh?"

Jack nodded, coughing slightly, and followed Kate to the hall where they saw their friends off. When they were gone, Kate shut the door and encouraged Jack to go back and sit on the couch. The two of them cuddled in silence for a while, and Jack was the first to speak.

"If I decided to go on a leave of abscence," he said softly, "it would be a huge adjustment, Kate. I'm used to being busy, using work as a distraction."

She nodded in understanding. "I know, sweetheart, but you're really not strong enough to be around all of those sick people day in and day out." she squeezed his thigh. "I really think you should do it, for a little while at least, until the oncologist starts seeing some improvements."

Jack sighed again, and rubbed a hand over his face. "Try it for a while and see how it helps," Kate added, and he looked at her again. "it would also help get on your Mom's good side, too." she held him tightly, and he stroked the ends of her hair, feeling very tired and drained. "You need some tea, I think." she kissed him, and went into the kitchen to put a mug in the microwave. Jack listened as she moved around taking out the necessary suplies, and was grateful when she put the warm mug into his hands about 2 minutes later.

"Thank you," he whispered, sipping from it, and gazing at the blank television set. "Would it make you happy if I did this?" he asked after a few minutes, and she smiled.

"Having you home 24/7 for a while?" she pressed his hand against her lips. "I think I'll be able to handle it." she laughed when he leaned in to kiss her, his breath smelling of mint from the tea. He set the mug on the coffee table for the time being, and continued to kiss her, unable to get enough. Kate didn't fight him; she never wanted Jack to stop kissing her. When they eventually did stop, she burried her face against his chest, listening to the beating of his heart.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Jack remained true to his word, and decided to take a leave of absence from work for a while. His boss was more than happy to oblidge, and Kate was thrilled to have him all to herself without worrying about his hectic hospital schedule. She, of course, still took on her shifts at the restaraunt, and came home to find Jack practicing the piano or resting in front of the televison. On rare instances when he felt more like himself, he actually prepared dinner for her, and they ate it on the patio facing the Hollywood Hills.

However, the time came when Jack knew he would have to face his mother again. Kate kept giving him subtle hints about it, and finally when she was at work one afternoon, he decided to take a drive to his childhood home in Beverly Hills. He felt his body tense as he drove through the familiar neighborhood, for he hadn't been home since he left for Australia. Jack pulled behind his mother's white Mercedes, sitting in silence for a couple of minutes. He struggled a little as he climbed out of the van, heading up the walk to the front door.

Margo was answering correspondance when the door bell rang, and startled, she went to open it. She stood facing her son, who wore jeans and a pollo shirt before her.

"You could have called," she said quietly before letting him in. Jack gazed around the living room when they entered it. Nothing about the house had changed very much; except of course, for his father's permanent absence. Margo offered to make them each a cup of tea, which Jack agreed to, and waited for her to return from the kitchen. It was so silent in the house, and very uncomfortable in his opinion.

When she returned, he thanked her, taking a small sip once the liquid cooled down enough. "So..where do we begin?" Margo asked, and Jack looked at her with a serious expression.

"You tell me," he replied, coughing slightly, and set the mug down on the coffee table.

"Kate," Margo continued, "I want to know more about this wife of yours. "

He sighed, raising his eyes to the ceiling. "She's told you about her life already," he replied. "she was traveling the world before she ran out of money and worked her way back to the states from Australia. We met on the beach after the plane crash, and something just drew us together. Trust me...we were the two most unlikely candidates for friendship, but sometimes miracles happen." he shrugged, and his mother didn't seem too impressed. "I wish you'd give her a chance," he added, and she took another sip of tea.

"Do you know much about her family?"

Jack shook his head. He never discovered what happened to Kate's mother...apparently she'd disowned her daughter after the house was blown up. Other than that, Kate rarely spoke of her family; only in little bits and pieces.

"I'm sorry, honey, but I find it hard to believe that a man with such a prestigious background such as yours would fall for a girl with so little...prospects. It just seems very out of place, Jack, considering your taste in the past."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "My past was lost after we crashed on that island, Mom," he began. "I made up my mind that whatever we were before that point vanished...we had to start over, or we'd all go completely crazy. No matter what happened to me, she was always there. I love her...I wish that could be enough for you."

Margo finally managed a very small smile. "Jack, you're very sick," she continued slowly. "I don't want you to feel as though you have to support her as well as yourself. You need to look after your health, Jack...that's the most important thing right now."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Mom, Kate knows this," he insisted. "She's been taking care of me. In fact, she pretty much forced me to go to the hospital when I had the flu...she doesn't want to take any chances. Also...she's convinced me to take a leave of absence from work for a while until I start to feel stronger."

Margo pursed her lips. "She just has so little to offer you," she continued, and Jack clenched his fists. "I'm afraid she'll just decide she's had enough when you're the most vulnerable! I don't want her taking advantage of you."

"Her heart was all I wanted," he replied. "Mom, she's been through a lot, and it was hard convincing her that she could settle down and be happy."

"Weren't there other men on the island who could have helped her?" Margo asked, and Jack bristled; he'd almost lost Kate to Sawyer, and he refused to acknowledge that.

"You're missing the point entirely," Jack argued. "Please just give her a chance."

Silence filled the room, and Margo appeared to be pondering the idea, but the expression on her face hadn't changed very much. "Jack, there's just something about her that gives me a bad taste in my mouth. I wish I could think as you do, but it's going to take a lot for her to gain my respect."

Jack stood, fury bursting inside. His mother could be so ridiculously stubborn, and it amazed him how he put up with her for most of his life. "She's going to have your grandchild, so I would hope you'd change your mind," he hissed, and suddenly he realized his mistake. He placed a hand against his forehead, turning away, and stared through the window. Margo stood as well, and walked very slowly across the room to stand beside her son.

"Grandchild? My God, Jack, you're just full of secrets, aren't you? Well, this explains a lot!" she folded her arms, and Jack turned.

"A lot of what?" he asked, and she frowned.

"You married her because she was pregnant...that's what!" she sniffed, raising her head.

"That is way out of line," Jack spat angrily. "I knew I shouldn't have bothered coming here." he started for the door, but his mother grabbed his arm, forcing him to stand before her again.

"You are not going to walk out on me again, Jack," she hissed. "I've raised you for the first eighteen years of your life, and you will respect my opinion!"

Jack glared. "I'm no longer in your clutches, Mom, so actually I don't," he retorted. "For your information, we chose to have a baby together, and she became pregnant at the beginning of last month. The baby is ours by choice." he shook his head with exhasperation. When Margo didn't speak for several moments, Jack closed his eyes. He had to leave...this wasn't getting them anywhere, and he was feeling distinctly uncomfortable. "I have to go." this time when he went for the front door, she didn't stop him, and he left the house grateful to be in the fresh air. He felt a bit lighteheaded when he reached the van, and had to steadily lean against it until the diziness passed.

Margo stood waiting for the sound of the car's engine to start, and when she didn't, she decided to investigate the situation. She went into the driveway and saw her son with his head in his hands, taking deep breaths. She went to touch his shoulder cautiously, but he still jumped, looking at her with one eye. "Jack," she began slowly. "You must understand that I really do worry about you. You're my only child, and the thought of possibly loosing you..." she paused, lowering her eyes to the ground. "I know I've never been the greatest of mother's, but I've always had your best interests at heart. I want you to know that." she didn't try to touch him again, and Jack didn't know what to say in response.

"I'm going to go home and rest," he said after a few moments, and she wet her lips, watching as he unlocked his car door, slipping inside. "I'll talk to you later." he shut the door and started the engine, wishing she would go back inside. He could see her watching him drive off through the rearview mirror, and felt tears filling his eyes. He was so frustrated, wanting her to accept Kate, the woman he cared about more than life itself. _If I had to make a choice, I would most certainly choose Kate, _he thought as he drove in the directon of Hollywood.

He decided to take a detour, though, and went to the beach. He decided the salt air and the sound of the ocean would soothe him, and as he walked along the surf, he was right. It was a hazy afternoon; not quite rainy, but the sky was a light gray. He watched as people jogged along the water listening to walkmen, parents with their children playing in the sand, or couples giggling and ignoring the world around them. Jack stopped walking and gazed over the ocean, wondering what would have happened had they not been rescued from the island. He was grateful to Michael for coming to save them, and he began to wonder if Ben knew his sickness would return if they left.

_Nothing will get me to go back there, _he thought with a shudder as a gentle breeze ruffled his shirt. _Nothing. _After a moment, he turned and headed back to the car, anxious to get back to the apartment and to Kate.

When Kate returned from work that evening, she felt a little thrill when she saw Jack reading the paper on the couch. He was so involved with a particular story he read, that he didn't even hear her come in. Smiling to herself, Kate tiptoed across the living room floor, and snuck around to the side of the couch. She covered Jack's eyes with her hands, making him jump and gasp, as well as lowering the newspaper.

He laughed when he saw her, and grinned as he noticed the slightly swollen stomach protruding from her uniform. "Hey there, beautiful," he greeted, accepting a kiss on the lips. "How was your day?"

Kate took his hands and pressed them against her cheek, sighing happily. "Crazy," she admitted. "God, I need a massage." she lay against his stomach, and Jack began to rub her shoulders. She groaned with pleasure, teasingly lifting his shirt and kissing his bellybutton. "Definitely an innie," she chuckled, and Jack burst into laughter at the seriousness in her voice, and pulled her up to be with him. "Careful," she warned, when her elbow hit the port-a-cath, and he kissed her forehead. "Hi," she added, and he grinned, his eyes melting into her own.

"Hi." he tapped her nose.

"What have you been up to all afternoon?" she asked, once they were comfortably seated, and he began to rub her feet.

"Went to see my Mom," he began, and Kate very slowly sat up, her eyes widening.

"Shit," she breathed. "how did it go?"

He cleared his throat, lowering his head. "She's a hopeless case I'm afraid," he replied, and Kate frowned. "I don't know what to do. I was completely content without her in my life, but now that she's reappeared in it, I just..." he bit his lip. "I don't want to loose you, Kate...I don't..."

Kate took his hand again and squeezed it. "Jack, you are not going to loose me," she promised. "Your mom is going to have to put up with me, because I'm not going anywhere, and I don't give a fuck what she thinks."

Jack stared. "You just said fuck," he said, and Kate smirked.

"I say it to myself all the time, but yes I did," she added, and he leaned into kiss her.

"I was hoping our baby would have a normal grandparent," he whispered, and Kate placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Jack, things will fall into place when they're ready," she insisted. "don't stress out over it. Just...take it easy for now. Do you want some..."

He held up his hand. "No tea, thanks," he chuckled. "already had it at my Mom's."

She nodded in understanding, and she gave him the cue to continue massaging her feet.

That night he took her to the main drag for ice cream, and they wandered down the avenue of the stars as they ate it. Kate couldn't imagine living anywhere else; California was definitely her dream.

"Want to try some of this mint chocolate chip?" she asked, and he nodded, taking a small bite. It was definitely cool and refreshing; everytime he had ice cream, it seemed to relax every tense muscle he ever had in his body. He gave Kate some of his vanilla, and chuckled when she had a bit of a mustache as a result. He kissed her, licking his lips, and she grinned.

"Delicious," he whispered, and she sighed happily.

When they finished their ice cream, Kate wrapped her arms around her husband's neck, kissing him passionately. "Should we be doing this in public?" he whispered, and she pressed her lips against his forehead.

"I want everyone to see just how much I love you," she replied, and he kissed her again. He shivered after a moment, and she hugged him.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I'm freezing."

She rubbed his arms as they continued walking, scolding him for not having brought a sweatshirt. They arrived home about an hour later, and Jack immediately went to the piano, flipping through the music sitting on the ledge. Kate sat down on the couch to listen as he played, wishing he wouldn't use such a meloncholy song. When she asked him to play something a bit more cheerful, he glanced over his shoulder, smiling softly. "Hey wait a minute...you were playing that when I first found you with the Others." she stood. "Jack, why..."

He turned away, and she came to sit with him on the piano bench. "What's going on in that head of yours?" she stopped his hands from moving, and he looked into her eyes.

"I was in solitary confinement," he began, "since they brought us to their side of the island. It was this dimly lit metal room...chains hanging from the ceiling."

Kate held her breath, and immediately knew Jack was beginning to tell her about his exprience with the Other's camp. She didn't dare interrupt him; she'd been waiting to hear the details of his own capture for the past year. "Juliet was in charge of me," he continued. "she brought food every day; breakfast lunch and dinner...somehow she always knew what I wanted. I wouldn't let her see my satisfaction, so I often refused to eat." he cleared his throat, and Kate nodded her encouragement for him to continue, touching his shoulder.

"Then she told me Ben had a tumor on his spine, and they wanted me to operate on him. Again, I kept protesting, not wanting to do anything that would be in their favor. So, I stayed in that room with the glass divider, the one you saw me through when they brought you in as a tool." he continued to tell the story of how Juliet continued to bribe him to take on Ben's surgery, how he'd almost drowned trying to escape through a door in the hatch; he did try choking Juliet that day, but she was too cunning for her own good.

"I still can't believe you saw us through the television monitors," she breathed. "especially since they had you in that cell all the time."

Jack took a deep breath. "I saw you because I was waiting for instruction, and yes I happened upon it," he continued. "I agreed to do Ben's surgery, but had him promise to let the two of you go free."

Kate rubbed his back carefully. "They had a lot of information on us," she began slowly. "did they know you had cancer before we landed on the island?"

Jack looked at her with tired eyes. "Yes," he replied. "they knew." he cleared his throat.

"So you and Juliet were never really that close?" Kate asked, unsure if she should feel relief or not just yet.

"Well, after Ben's surgery I made a deal with them as I said," he explained. "Juliet and I were both in the same boat...she didn't want to be there anymore than I did. She tried to reason with Ben again, and he wanted me to join him in an experiement they were doing before he agreed to let the two of us go."

Kate chewed on her lip, reaching up to touch his cheek. He'd recently shaved, but still had enough stubble left for her satisfaction. "What kind of an expriement?" she asked, and he blew out his breath.

"You remember Alex," he began slowly, "Danielle's daughter...the one the Other's took from her when she was a baby? Alex's boyfriend had been in this room with a whole bunch of mind stimulating devices...kind of like those virtual reality things. Ben wanted to test each person who came on the island with them, so he put me in there, because apparently I was an interesting specimen, usually stubborn beyond measure."

Kate felt her lower lip trembling a little, and placed her hand against his heart. "He did that, after you saved him?" she breathed, and he gave her a bittersweet smile.

"We've determined that Ben wasn't exactly considered humane in anything he's ever done." he stood up from the piano, and went to stare through the sliding doors. She stood watching him for a few moments, feeling awkward, and didn't want to intrude if he needed a minute or two to himself. "Kate...I'm so sorry," he began, turning to her, and she shook her head. "I never meant to make you jealous in Juliet's case...I never loved her the way I loved you, or love you I should say. I was angry...I was furious with the fact that Sawyer almost took you away from me." he knelt down, letting the tears come at last.

Kate stood watching him cry softly, and knelt down in front of him. "The more I think about it, the more stupid I really was," he continued. "You'd never officially declared your love for me, so I don't know why I was taking it out on you like that. But Juliet and I never were an item, and I want you to know that for a fact. Nothing ever happened except common goals." he sniffed hard, and Kate kissed his forehead.

"I'm glad you told me," she began. "What made you decide to do so?"

Jack went to get a tissue from the box on the table, and blew his nose. "I went to the beach this afternoon when I left my Mom's," he explained, "and I was thinking. Ben didn't want us to get off the island...remember that? I wonder if he had a feeling I'd be sick all over again. He thought the island had some sort of strange power, that mabye it was helping me. He thought I was some sort of miracle, because of my profession...that if I fixed him, he'd be fine forever."

Kate shook her head. "Jack, Ben was crazy," she said. "I wouldn't take anything he told you seriously."

Jack sneezed, and Kate helped him to sit down on the couch. "Come here," she whispered, and enveloped him in her arms, letting him lay against her lap. "It's okay." she bent low so she could kiss him, and he closed his eyes, feeling so safe with her as he always did.

"Thank you," he whispered, and she leaned down again.

"For what, sweetheart?" she stroked his side, and let him turn over on his back so she could see his face.

"For everything you've done or have been doing for me...I don't know what I'd do without you."

Kate smiled, tickling him gently. "Doctor Shepard, it is an absolute honor I hope you know," she replied, "that you're letting me help you."

Jack sighed with contentment, and for that moment, his fears were pushed aside.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Over the next few weeks, Jack and Kate began shopping for the baby's nursery. Thankfully the apartment had a spare bedroom, which they would use for such a thing.

"Since we dont know what it'll be yet, we should be as neutral as we can with colors and things right," Kate told Jack as they sat putting the crib together. The process wasn't easy, and he provided her with a lot of confused looks as he tried to figure out the diagram and directions in the booklet enclosed.

"Mmmhmm," he said, fitting a few screws in his mouth as he hooked one of the poles together. When they finally got it up, the two of them stood gazing at it. Jack had his arm around her waist, and smiled, proud of his handywork. "Did you want to repain these walls?" he added, glancing around, for it was a rather boring white. Normally, nurseries were known for their mixture of pastel colors and different trims. She raised her eyebrows.

"I'd love to, honey, but it's a lot of work...I don't know if you're up for something like that just yet."

Jack's chemotherapy treatments were rapidly approaching completion, which was a relief for them both. However, they were anxious about the next oncology appointment, which would determine the next step, if there was one.

"We could get some help," he replied. "it wouldn't have to be just the two of us."

She thought for a moment. "True," she agreed. "how about Charlie, Claire and Sawyer? We'll see if they're availible one weekend and we can get it done twice as fast with five people."

Jack smirked; Sawyer didn't seem the artistic type in his opinion. He had a feeling the most involved the ex-con artist would a few babysits here and there, if that. Kate saw the expression on her husbands face, and folded her arms. "Jack, stop that," she scolded, and he shook his head, wiping his slightly sweaty brow with the back of his hand. He led her out of the nursery and into the living room, where they sat on the couch and had something to drink. "What can we loose by asking him?" she kissed his cheek. "he says no, so we just have four people, which is also fine."

Jack kissed her forehead. "It's up to you, sweetheart," he replied, and gritted his teeth...his knee had been aching worse than ever. He bent over and took steady breaths through his nose, and Kate placed a hand on his back, prepared to get up for whatever he might need.

"Jack?" she asked, and he held up his hand, not wanting to move just yet. "Do you want some advil?"

He cleared his throat when the pain subsided, and closed his eyes for a moment. "It's from all of that kneeling," he muttered, and she stood, sitting her can of Coke on the coffee table. "Where are you going?" he grabbed her hand, and she turned around, smiling softly.

"To get you some medicine," she replied, and he pulled her back onto his lap. "Jack," she laughed, as he began to kiss her softly, in the way that made him very difficult to resist.

When he was settled in bed an hour or so later, Kate decided to give her friends a call, wanting to set up the painting party before the appointment with Dr. Olina the following Thursday. She wanted to make sure Jack could enjoy the experience as well. Charlie and Claire were thrilled by the idea, and offered to bring snacks and the like.

"You don't have to," Kate laughed, but they continued to insist.

"What's a party without snacks?" Charlie asked, and she gazed up at the ceiling for a moment, deciding to agree.

Sawyer, shockingly, was agreeable as well, though he sounded more amused if anything. "You two are really getting into this whole baby deal, aren't you, Freckles?" he asked, and Kate touched her stomach, used to the bulge at this point. Of course, it wasn't as big as it could be yet, but for the first few weeks of the change she had a bit of trouble getting comfortable.

"What am I going to do with you?" she teased, and Sawyer gave a small noise in response. "So you'll be there, right?"

He nodded, taking a puff from his cigarette as he lay on his hotel room bed. "You got it. Give my best to the Doc, will ya?"

Kate promised to do so, and after hanging up, she began jumping up and down as softly as she could. She joined Jack in the bedroom a few moments later, and he lay reading the book he'd been picking through for the past few months. "Aren't you ever going to finish that?" she laughed as she crawled under the covers, and he stuck out his tongue.

"So, any luck with the party?" he asked, and Kate winked, rubbing his chest with the palm of her hand.

"I told you it would be fine," she whispered into his ear, and he gave her a kiss on the temple.

By the time Saturday arrived, Kate had gotten as many decorations as she could, incuding a few tubs of light cream-colored paint and stencils for the ceiling. "I had a hard time deciding," she told Jack when she brought it into the apartment, finding him writing checks for bills that had come in. "There were a ton of patterns, including a tropical one, which I figured wouldn't be the best avenue to take."

He smiled at her faintly as she set everything down on the floor, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Need any help?" she asked after they shared another kiss, and he cleared his throat, straightening his papers.

"Nope...we're good. Here are your statement's for the month..." he handed her a couple of opened envelopes, and she went to put everything into her account book. She wasn't used to such an orgznied system for saving, but it certainly made life easier to know how much you reguarly needed to survive. "So a tropical pattern, huh?" he stood to hug her; their guests weren't coming for at least another hour, so they had time to themselves. Kate pressed her forehead against his chest, sighing contenedly. Jack smelled so good, even when he wasnt wearing cologne of any sort.

"Have you heard from your Mom at all?" she asked, gently fingering the port-a-cath box under his shirt, and he loosened his grip. "I'm sorry, but I'm worried...your last visit didn't go well. I don't want you to be stressing out over this of all things."

He ran a hand over his buzzed head, and folded his arms. "We haven't spoken since I left her house," he replied, and she bit her lip. "I don't know what to do about it, Kate. She's not an easy woman to get along with."

Kate made a noise that was between a laugh and a cough. "You thought the same way about me, and look how we ended up?" she slapped him jokingly on the shoulder. "I really hope the both of you can come to an agreement...I hate that I'm the primary problem." she sighed and turned away for a moment, which only caused Jack to move closer.

"Don't say that," he warned. "Kate, you know that's not true."

Kate glanced over her shoulder. "Stop lying to yourself, Jack," she said. "if you'd married a harvard law school graduate, she'd probably be a bit more accepting." she gave a small sniff, and he touched her arm.

"Hey," he began, turning her to face him. "You're worth ten of those women. No matter what my Mom thinks about you, my opinion'll never change. If she wants to be in my life, she'll have to respect the fact that you're part of it." he kissed her forehead, just as there was a knock on the door. Kate kissed him back with a smile, and he watched as she went to let in the first of their guests. Claire and Charlie were there without Aaron (who was with a sitter again), both looking happy and carrying chips, salsa, and a cheese or two.

"You guys really shouldn't have done all this," Kate scolded as they helped them set the food on the table, watching as Charlie and Jack greeted each other with loose handshakes and clasps on the back. Claire smiled as she borrowed a knife from the silverware drawer, and began to slice the cheese to put on a plate.

"Oh that's all we ever think about anymore is food, food, food. I swear, Charlie's just like a human garbage disposal sometimes with his appetite!"

Jack laughed heartily at the expression on his friend's face, and Charlie gave an eyeroll. "Remind me again what made me crazy enough to propose to her?" he asked, and Claire threw a chip at him.

"Seriously, though, we didn't mind at all," Claire promised, and Kate grinned, anxiously glancing at the clock. She realized the Charlie and Claire hadn't seen Sawyer since they were rescued, for they'd never gone out as a big group. When she explained the situation, both looked slightly awkward, but were fine with the idea of his joining them.

"I wonder how he's doing, anyway," Charlie pondered out loud as they began to set up the room with the plastic tarp. "Is he still sarcastic?"

Kate snorted, watching as Jack opened the cans of paint. "I'm afraid he'll never grow out of that," she replied, just as there was another knock. "Speaking of the devil..." she excused herself to let him in, and saw Sawyer dressed in jeans and an old shirt.

"I come bearing gifts," he greeted, offering a six pack.

"Are you serious?" Kate asked, eyeing him. "Two pregnant women, a cancer patient, and...well, you and Charlie might as well go head on. Thanks." she drug him in, and everyone stood together, staring. "Hello would be a start," she encouraged, and Charlie nodded.

Once they had the music playing in the background and the painting spree begun, their nerves relaxed considerably. Painting was certainly difficult, and very messy. At one point, Kate jokingly stroked Jack's face with the brush, sending everyone into fits of laughter at his lemon-tight lips and closed eyes.

"Trying to start something?" he asked, flinging his own brush in her direction, and hitting her shirt.

"All right, now," Charlie began, glancing at the two of them. "don't make me put you in time out..."

A shower of blue and cream colored paint hit him directly in the face, and before they knew it they were in a small war. It luckily had no bearings on the walls or ceiling, but all of them were filthy afterwards. Before they knew it, all five of them were dancing along to the music as they used rollers and brushes, switching partners and generally having a blast. Kate watched as Jack twirled Claire in a circles, and hoped she would tell him the truth of her identity soon. Charlie and Sawyer's headbanging and mouthing of the words to "Another Layer", made her laugh; he was definitely a musician at heart.

When they finished, the room looked fantastic: Kate had chosen a rubber ducky theme, using yellow, blue, and sea green paint to chissel into the stencil. The group gathered in the living room afterwards to relax, arms aching from constantly raising and lowering with the movement of the brushes.

"I have ibuprofin if anybody needs it," Claire announced, reaching her purse, and Charlie jumped at the offer.

"So, I hear you two are tyin' the knot," Sawyer broke in, taking a swig of his beer. Charlie nodded, smiling when Jack sat down next to Kate after making a trip to the bathroom, and put his arm around her shoulders. "When's the big day?"

Claire blushed, and Charlie held his head up. "Next Valentine's Day," he replied, and Sawyer snorted.

"Expected as much," he said, and Kate shared an eye roll with Jack. He was smiling for the first time in weeks, so Kate applauded herself for putting the painting party together. He clearly needed a distraction; both of them did. Especially with his upcoming appointment, which had them both incredibly tense. It was a relief when no one mentioned his illness the entire time they were at the apartment; she had a feeling their friends caught on by how happy Jack seemed, and didn't want to freak him out unnecessarily.

When it was time for everyone to leave, Sawyer stayed behind a moment, because he was curious. "You didn't give us any updates," he said, once the door shut after Charlie and Claire. Jack looked at Kate, who lowered her head, and told her husband to leave the room if he had to. Jack agreed to do so, disappearing down the hall.

"Sawyer, we didn't want to bring it up, because the both of us needed a distraction. He has his next appointment with the oncologist on Thursday, and this is going to determine whether or not the chemo worked. We don't want everybody worrying...it's bad enough we're freaked out."

Sawyer folded his arms. "I see. So..." he made a motion with his hand. "what is the next step if for some reason..." he paused at the expression of pain on Kate's face, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I'm the baby's future godfather...I want to know where I stand!"

"We don't know what the next step will be," Kate admitted. "we're hoping chemotherapy is the only thing he'll have to go through." she took a deep breath, apologizing, and turned away for a moment. Sawyer cursed under his breath and raised his head again, patting her shoulder.

"I shouldn't have brought it up," he said, and Kate sighed. "but I'm worried about you, especially being pregnant and all. I feel like I should be doing a lot more than just sitting around waiting."

She nodded in understanding, trying not to cry. "I'm okay," she promised. "my priority is Jack right now...he needs all of the emotional support he can get. He doesn't want any of you to be anxious for him. Respect his wishes, Sawyer," she begged, and he nodded, giving her a hug. She hugged him in return, though it did feel strange, considering they'd shared more intimate moments than this. When he said goodbye and left, she stood in the foyer, closing her eyes and giving a small sniff.

After a few moments, she forced herself back into the living room, and went to check on Jack in the bedroom. On the way there, she caught sight of him sitting in the rocking chair by the crib, leaning his chin in his palm. Kate watched him for a while, hesitant to interrupt if he was deep in concentration about something. "Sweetheart?" she began, and he jumped a little at the sound of her voice, blinking. "I'm sorry," she apologized, and came to plant a kiss on top of his head. "What's wrong?" she rubbed his back, and he straightened up a little.

"What did Sawyer want?" he asked, and she pulled up another chair, lacing her fingers through his.

"He wanted to know how you were health-wise," she replied. "we did give him a big responsibility, and he wants to make sure he's kept updated, if he needs to be of any assistance to us."

Jack nodded in understanding, and placed her hands to his lips. She stared as he continued to place them against his cheek for a second, before lowering them again. "We did a great job in here," he said softly, and she smiled, taking in the smell of fresh paint. "I just hope I get to be here when it's in use."

She frowned, having a bad feeling what was coming. "Don't be ridiculous, Jack," she retorted. "of course you'll be here! You don't expect me to change all of the dirty diapers, do you?" she tried to tease him with her eyes, but saw it wasn't working. "Jack, stop this," she ordered. "you're going to be fine." she reached up to touch his cheeks, but he moved away from her, glancing towards the door. She leaned back in her chair as he stood, running a hand over his face. "I thought you had a good time tonight...you seemed really happy," she added, and he turned to face her, managing a small smile.

"I did," he insisted. "I'm just...the more this really begins to look like a nursey, the more real everything seems." He touched the set of dresser drawers, and the rattle sitting on top. Kate didn't know what else to do, so she decided to let him share his feelings with her. It wasn't every day he did this without her coaxing, after all. "Kate, I know you're not going to like what I say when I say it, but I have to get it out in the open. I don't want any unfinished business around here."

Kate felt her throat choking up with tears, knowing she wouldn't be able to hold them back for much longer. "If God forbid the chemo failed and I don't..." he cleared his throat. "I want you to go on," he continued, and she covered her mouth with her hands, the tears flowing at last. "I don't want you to be alone, if you can help it. If you find yourself caring for someone else after I'm gone...I encourage you to follow your heart to the best of your ability. I want you to try and find someone else who will love you both, as I always will. The idea of your being lonely scares me more than anything."

Kate gave a sob, and he immediately pulled her into his arms, burrying his face against her hair. "Jack, please don't make me let you go," she begged, her voice muffled. He held her for a long time, letting her cry as much as she needed to.

"I want you to have something," he said, and she gulped, allowing him to lead her into the living room. She stood with her arms wrapped around her body, feeling so helpless as he rummaged through his box of old momentos. He pulled out a rather thick gold ring with a ruby jewel in the center, and placed it into her hand. "This is the ring I got after I graduated from medical school," he explained, and she turned it over in her fingers, watching as it glistened in the light. "It probably wont fit your finger, but you can wear it on a chain or something if you need to."

She kissed him passionately afterwards, which he eagerly returned. "I will never love anyone as I love you," she breathed as he ran his strong hands under her shirt, touching her stomach gently.

"I know," he replied, lifting her into his arms as they continued to kiss, completely lost in each other.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Kate couldn't believe how fast the night passed; she'd held onto Jack the entire time they were in bed together, needing to feel him. The pain in his knee bothered him to the point where he tossed and turned constantly, making it very awkward to fall asleep. They were exhausted by the time they went to the hospital, and Jack was greeted by his colleagues, who missed seeing him there on a regular basis. Dr. Olina took Jack to have his port-a-cath removed, and to put him through another CAT scan to see the progress of the cancer. Kate, meanwhile, sat in the waiting room trying to occupy her mind by reading through magazines. She was so nervous about the outcome of the treatment, she couldn't concentrate, and kept reading the same paragraph over and over again.

Jack's tests were done about forty minutes later, and the oncologist called her to join them in her office. "You okay?" Jack asked, noticing how pale she'd become, and Kate laced her fingers through his, squeezing them firmly.

"Yeah," she promised, and he kissed her forehead, turning his attention to the doctor.

"So, how are we doing?" he asked, and Dr. Olina smiled softly, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. A long silence filled the air, and Jack leaned forward, clearing his throat. "It didn't work, did it?" his voice was quiet, and Kate felt her throat choking up with tears again.

"I'm sorry, Jack," she replied, and Kate closed her eyes, trying to relax her very tense muscles. He let out a small groan and leaned his head back, rubbing a hand over his face.

"What's the next step, then?" he couldn't imagine going through another eighteen weeks of chemotherapy; the oncologist had already warned him that one treatment cycle would be enough for his body, because he'd been through it before. Dr. Olina began to flip through the file of papers on her desk, and handed him a packet, which he read the title of carefully. "Bone marrow transplant. That's necessary?" he looked at Kate, who rubbed his shoulder, feeling at a loss of how to comfort him.

"It's our best shot," Dr. Olina said. "The chemotherapy did very little to shrink the cancer cells, which are much stronger than they were from your first attack. You have a version of hodgkins, which feeds on the bone marrow of your knee. That's why the pain is so bad," she explained, and Jack hugged his wife protectively. "I'm not going to give up just yet, Jack, because you've been such a strong fighter through all of this so far. What we're going to do, is put you through a round of radiation therapy, to try again to shrink the cells to a point where it will be worthwhile to operate. In the meantime, you two need to ask any family members or close friends if they would be willing to subject their bone marrow for testing."

Jack nodded in understanding, but he felt numb. "What are his odds if he does have the transplant?" Kate spoke, finally trusting herself enough to use her voice, glancing quickly through the packet. "It seems really complicated besides just finding a donor."

"Better than if we do nothing," Dr. Olina answered kindly. "You two are going to have a baby together, and I want him to have the best chance of beating this as possible. I would like to begin the radiation as early as tomorrow, if you think it might be something you want to try."

Jack hadn't spoken much since his initial question, and Kate knew this was hard for him to digest. He'd been through eighteen weeks of torture with the chemotherapy poison's ripping through his system, making him terribly sick and weak. "Sweetheart, if you want to think it over, you can," she said, rubbing the back of his head, afraid he might start crying at any moment. "but I think if this is another chance to beat this disease, we should try it."

Dr. Olina smiled at her, knowing how difficult news like this could be for patients to discover. Jack had been one of her favorites, and it helped that he was a doctor as well, so she didn't have to explain a lot of the complicated medical jargon to him. "How long would I have if I decided not to go for the BMT?" he asked, and Kate lowered her head, dreading the answer. She was getting so angry; not at Jack, but at the situation. Why, after all he'd done for her and for everyone else while they were stranded on the island and off, did he have to put up with something like this? The worst part about it, was he tried to be as quiet of a patient as possible, not wanting to burden anyone more than was necessary.

"I'd say a year, give or take," Dr. Olina replied, and Kate gripped his arm, staring into his eyes anxiously. "The cancer is starting to spread."

"Jack, please," she begged, and he felt his heart racing. A year...that went by so quickly.

"Kate, I want to warn you that even though Jack's chances are strengthened with this operation, it will be a long and difficult recovery process. He'll need you in every possible way to help him get through it."

Kate turned her attention to the oncologist, looking at her as though she were crazy. "I love him," she said very slowly. "of course I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get him well again."

Jack closed his eyes, the emotional tension in the room growing stronger by the minute. "How long do you think it'll be before I'll find a match?" he asked, and Dr. Olina cleared her throat, removing her glasses.

"It varies with each person," she replied. "sometimes it can take up to six months, but when we do find the right bone marrow type, it's worthwhile."

Kate glanced at her husband for a moment. "Would I be able to be tested, with my being pregnant?" she asked, and when Jack started to protest, she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Yes," Dr. Olina said, and Kate felt a sigh of relief. "however, the downside to that is, we do not allow pregnant women who happen to be a match to have the operation until after she has given birth and is in full recovery."

Kate lowered her hand from Jack's face, listening as he gave a deep sigh. "I see," she said, and Dr. Olina looked at Jack.

"Normally the best possibility for a match would be a sibling," she continued, "but I remember you told me you're an only child."

Kate felt her muscles tense again; this was not true at all, actually. She thought about Claire, and needed to get her friend to tell Jack the truth, before it was too late. She wanted to interject so badly, but her loyalty to Claire kept her from doing so. "Kate, I don't want you risking your health for me," Jack began slowly. "I don't want you to be tested. You need to think about the baby."

She glared. "Shut up, Jack," she hissed, and he leaned away from her, his eyes narrowed.

"So are we in agreement to give this a try?" Dr. Olina looked from one to the other, and Jack lowered his head again for a second.

"We might as well," he replied, and he was handed a form to sign for consent. Kate watched as his hand shook while he used the pen, and felt absolutely terrible for him.

Dr. Olina apologized for not being able to give them better news, and scheduled Jack for his first round of radiation at 10:00 the following morning. Neither of them spoke while they walked towards the hospital's exit; this felt like some kind of horrible nightmare. The sky was bright blue, and the sun beat down on their faces as they wandered into the parking lot. Jack automatically went to the driver's side of the van; he'd only recently felt well enough to drive on a regular basis.

"I can drive if you want," Kate began uncomfortably, knowing Jack was a bit frustrated with her.

"That's okay," he replied, opening the door a bit more roughly than he normally would have. They didn't go straight home, and Kate learned not to talk when Jack was this upset. He pulled into the small lot for the beach, and Kate watched as he climbed out of the car, heading towards the boardwalk rail.

"Jack," she groaned and got out of the car as well, jogging a little to catch up to him. "Jack, stop." she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her; if looks could kill, his would have done the job rather cleanly. "I'm sorry you don't want me to be as involved with your illness as I want to be, but I can't just sit by and watch while everyone else tries to help you! Jack, what if I'm the only one who's bone marrow matches yours? We'd be making a huge mistake if we didn't at least try!"

Jack turned away from her, finally collapsing in silent tears, eventually allowing her to hold him close. "It's okay," she soothed, letting him burry his nose against her shoulder. "It's okay." a seagull cried overhead, mixed with the sound of people talking in the distance, and the ocean waves crashing along the shore. Jack held onto her tightly as he cried, unable to do anything else. When he did manage to relax a little, she offered him a tissue from the travel pack in her purse, which he used gratefully.

"I'm sorry," he apologized after blowing his nose, and she smirked. "I just...I don't want you to be in anymore danger than you have to be." he cleared his throat, wiping his eyes, and gave a small shiver. "I don't know what to do...I'm dying, Kate," he added, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. "we can't deny that."

She pressed her lips to his stomach, and felt him rub her back. "No," she agreed, "we can't." she took a deep breath. "but we can try our best to prevent that from happening...or at least give you more than a year to survive. Chances are not completely gone, Jack."

He took her hands and raised them to his lips in a kiss, before glancing over his shoulder. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up," he added, and she frowned, kissing his back as she held him from behind. "Let's go for a walk on the beach...I need to take all this in."

Kate agreed, holding onto his hand as they went down the steps and onto the sand, heading towards the ocean. "I'm just so angry, Kate," he began, after they were walking for about twenty minutes in silence. Jack had taken a stronger pain medicine for his knee, so it didn't bother him as much as it had the past few days. "I've been trying to make peace with what's happening to me, but I can't." he stopped walking and sat down, hugging his knees to his chest. She joined him, laying her head against his shoulder.

"We don't have to make peace with it yet," she replied. "we are going to find a match for you, and you're going to get well. I'm going to get you better, Jack."

He massaged his forehead. "Don't make promises that are far out of our reach to keep," he said. "I know how you feel, but right now I want to try and take one day at a time." he sniffed.

"As soon as we get home, I'm going to start making some phone calls," she said as he pulled her into a hug, pressing his lips against her head. "Let me help you up...you need to get some rest." she eased Jack to his feet, and let him lean on her as they headed towards the car.

"Thanks," he said once he they were in the car. This time, Kate took over the driving, and he glanced at her. "I'm sorry...I don't ever want you to think that I'm angry at you directly."

She pulled onto the street, and smiled. "I know. Believe me, you have every right to be frustrated. This has been a lot for you to deal with."

Jack dozed against the window as they drove towards their apartment, and he went to bed once inside.

Kate called Charlie first, trying to keep the tears back as she glanced through the packet of information regarding the transplant, and when he answered, she asked he was availible for her to come over. "Yeah," Charlie replied. "is everything okay?"

Kate swallowed, trying not to sound too upset. "I need to come and talk to you about Jack."

There was a pause, and Charlie encouraged her to come over as soon as she could. Kate went into the bedroom to tell Jack she was heading over to Charlie and Claire's, allowing him to pull her down for a kiss. "Are you all right?" he asked, and she nodded, massaging his chest a moment.

"I'm going to talk to them about getting tested for a match," she whispered, and he kissed her again.

"I love you so much," he said, and she touched his cheek, pressing her hips to his forehead. "Be careful."

Kate nodded, leaving the room, and heading back out to the car. She had to pull over when the tears began coming again, afraid she'd get into an accident if she drove in her current state.

It took her an extra fifteen minutes to arrive at Charlie's apartment, and when she knocked on his door, he opened it, finding her with damp cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. "Come in," he said, and pulled her into a hug. "Claire's out food shopping and has Aaron with her, but they should be back in about a half hour." he offered her something to drink which she declined, not feeling very stable stomach-wise. "What's going on?"

Kate blew out her breath, and looked at her lap. "We just had Jack's oncology appointment," she explained, and Charlie straightened up, not liking the sound of her voice. "the chemo didn't help."

Charlie stared. "What?" he breathed. "is he..."

Kate shook her head. "The doctor suggested he try for a bone marrow transplant...he'll be getting some radiation therapy done to shrink the cells to an operable size, and in the meantime we have to search for a donor."

Charlie rubbed his chin, his eyes wide. "How's he doing?" he asked, and Kate shook her head.

"He's really upset, but he's being so good as usual," she replied, and Charlie nodded in understanding.

"What can we do?" he sounded hopeful, and Kate smiled faintly at him.

"Would you and Claire be willing to go for bone marrow testing?" she asked. "we're trying to get everyone Jack knows to do this, and if neither of us are a match, they'll put his blood type through a national registry." she cleared her throat, folding her hands. "I'm so scared, Charlie," she breathed. "Jack's was so sick while he was on chemo, and it's..." she closed her eyes. "it's just so unfair!"

Charlie squeezed her arm. "Do you want me to make any phone calls? I have Hurley's number out in Maine...maybe he can catch a flight here. He always got along with Jack on the island."

Kate nodded. "I'm calling Jin and Sun; they said to let them know if they could do anything. Oh, and Claire's pregnancy won't be a problem...only if either of us are a match for Jack, we won't be able to help him until we have our babies."

Charlie frowned. "I'm trying to think if there's anyone who would be willing to help us out," he said. "You're going to ask Sawyer, I hope?"

Kate felt her body bristle; she knew she had to, but she'd been dreading it. "Yeah," she said quietly. "I just...he stayed behind after the painting party, and he wants to be more involved with the situation."

Charlie cocked his head to one side. "What's wrong with that?" he asked. "you wanted him to be, didn't you?"

She hugged herself. "Yes, but Jack told me the other night that he wanted me to go on if he passed away...he said if I ever found someone who cared about me as much as he did, not to let anything stop me from falling in love again."

Charlie was quiet; he understood where Kate was coming from, having been told about the sexual escipade when Jack was still angry with her.

"Do you still have feelings for Sawyer?" he asked, and Kate blinked. "I mean, would he be..."

"No!" Kate retorted. "I would never resort to him. He's my friend, and yes, I want him to be in our child's life, but I don't ever plan on marrying again if anything happens to Jack. He's my soulmate, and nothing could even remotely replace him."

Charlie smiled. "So what are you worried about, then?" he asked, and Kate sighed.

"I don't want Sawyer going back to his old ways, that's all," she muttered. "I know Jack's the only reason he's been keeping his distance. I don't want him taking over."

Charlie chuckled. "I wouldn't worry," he insisted. "Well, I'll make sure to call Hurley tonight. We'll tell Claire when she gets in, and that'll make seven donor offers, if Jin and Sun agree. Hey...what about Jack's Mom? Is she going to get tested?"

Kate felt as though someone had punched her in the gut. Jack hadn't mentioned his mother since the news of the possible transplant, but she knew he had to tell her about it. His life was hanging from a string at this point, and she had to know of his condition. "He hasn't told her yet," she admitted. "we just found out today, so he's still processing the news himself." she leaned her chin in her palm.

When Claire did arrive home, both Kate and Charlie cornered her once Aaron was put down for a nap, and the shock on her face made Kate feel as though she wanted to cry all over again.

"Oh Jack," Claire breathed, and Kate hugged her friend tightly, promising there was still hope of his beating the disease.

"Claire," Kate began slowly, "you have to tell him. Now's as good a time as any," she said, and Claire's eyes widened. Charlie had gone to check on Aaron when he thought he heard the baby give a whimper from the nursery, and Kate sat down with the younger woman. "I know you're scared, but believe me...you're probably his best chance as you're a sibling."

Claire closed her eyes, and looked towards the window. "I'm not really...I'm his half sister," she whispered, and Kate smiled.

"That's still better than no relation at all," she replied, just as Charlie came out, rubbing his hands together. "Everything all right?" she asked, and he nodded.

"Oh yeah," he replied. "Aaron's just dreaming. Hopefully nothing dirty." he winked, and sat down with them.

"Charlie, I haven't told you," Claire began slowly, "because I was freaked out enough myself, but..." she looked at Kate, who nodded.

"You're not sick too, are you?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow, and Claire smirked.

"Thank God, no," she admitted, "but Jack's my half brother."

He blinked stupidly, and pointed to Kate, his mouth opening and closing. "Come again?" he asked, cleaning out his ear, and Claire bit her lip.

"I found out when I went for my one doctor appointment after finding out I was pregnant again," she explained. "I recognized the picture of Jack's Dad on the wall of former employees, and I recognzied him. He was having an affair with my mother at the same time he was married to Jack's Mom, so..." she shrugged, and Charlie frowned. "don't be angry at me," she begged, and he shook his head, squeezing her hand.

"I'm not," he insisted. "Wow. You two do look a little bit alike," he admitted, "but I thought that was just coincidence. What are you going to tell him?"

Claire shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "there's no easy way." she sighed heavily. "I wish I'd done this sooner, but I didn't know at all when we were on the island." she managed a small laugh. "feels kind of silly talking about it now."

Charlie glanced at Kate. "I wish I knew sooner," he admitted, and Claire sighed.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't know how to tell you, and it didn't seem fair that you knew before Jack. Believe me, I was just as shocked to find out...it didnt seem real to me. It still doesnt," she added, and Charlie patted her shoulder.

Kate stood, and both of them looked at her. "We don't have time for arguing about this," she said, "because time's pretty crucial. I don't know exaclty when they want you in for testing, but I'll let you both know as soon as I find out more details."

Claire nodded. "Okay," she said slowly, and Kate glanced at her watch. "I should go," she said. "I don't like leaving him alone for too long. He starts thinking again." she tried to smile, but it was difficult.

"Tell Sawyer," Charlie added as she started to head towards the door after hugging each of them, and Kate glanced over her shoulder, frowning. "if you'd rather me do it, I'll..."

Kate shook her head. "No, I'll do it," she sighed, and Claire gave Charlie a strange look, but he shook his head, promising he'd fill her in after Kate left.

"Bullocks," Charlie grumbled, after the door shut behind her.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

The radiation treatments were definitely easier on Jack than chemotherapy, but each round made him feel sore and tired. Kate told Sawyer the news of the Bone Marrow Transplant as soon as she felt strong enough to handle the information herself.

"The doc's just getting dealt one blow after another, isn't he?" Sawyer asked, and Kate nodded, fingering the glass that once contained her chocolate milkshake. They'd gone to one of the diners during Sawyer's lunchbreak, because Kate didn't have to worry about making the situation more involved than she had to. "But count me in, Freckles," he added, and she smiled.

"Thanks, Sawyer," she answered. "this has been a rough week." she took a deep breath just as her cell phone went off. Sawyer leaned back when she answered it, finding Claire on the other end.

"Hey, sweetie...what's up?" Kate asked, watching as the waitress came to drop off the check, and narrowed her eyes when Sawyer took it into his hands. She reached over to try to slap it away, making a sour face at him. He shook his head, holding it out of her reach, and merely smiled mischeviously when she settled back in her chair, defeated.

"I'm at rehearsal now," Claire began, "but I wanted to know if Jack had any plans this week. I wanted to make him dinner at our place one night, so I could tell him about...you know." she paused as she listened to Charlie tuning up one of the instruments, and had to stick a finger in her ear when the noise doubled through the microphone. Kate heard her friend curse quietly on the other end, and had to laugh.

"I don't think he has any plans," Kate admitted, "but I know he usually feels pretty crummy after his treatments. I'm sure he wont want to pass up a date with you, though...I'll ask him tonight."

Claire sighed with relief as Charlie called her, and she gave him a nasty look, pointing to her cell phone. He held up his hands innocently and waited for her to finish the conversation.

"Good," she said. "Do you have his cell phone number so I can call him personally? I think that would be better." she chewed on her lip, and Kate provided the information, which she scribbled down on the corner of her music sheet. "Listen, I have to go...Charlie's nagging me to get up on stage again with him. We were having technical problems."

Kate said goodbye, and after hanging up, folded her arms and stared at Sawyer. "You're unbelievable," she hissed, and he laughed, already slipping the money into the pocket of the small folder. "You don't have to pay for me! I work too, you know."

Sawyer rolled his eyes as he set the folder on the corner of the table. "You shouldn't have to pay for yourself when I'm with you," he pointed out, and Kate raised an eyebrow.

"This isnt a date or anything," she said, and he raised his arms in the air.

"Dammit, Kate, I know that," he replied slowly. "I just want to help you out every now and again...bein' polite and all. Now let's get the hell outta here."

Kate snorted, forcing her aching body from the bench, and followed him out into the parking lot. "Well thanks," she told him. "Claire was on the phone by the way...I never told you that she is Jack's half sister."

Sawyer stopped walking, and turned around, blinking twice. "Come again?" he asked, and Kate blew out her breath, folding her arms.

"Yeah." she glanced up at the sky. "we found out Jack's Dad was Claire's as well...when we went for her first real ultrasound after she found out she was pregnant. She wanted to keep it a secret, because she was afraid Jack would get worse if he had more people to worry about. Now she's going to tell him about it," she added, and it was Sawyer's turn to fold his arms.

"What made you change your mind now?" he asked, and Kate cleared her throat.

"You know...one of the best chances Jack has of finding a donor is through a sibling," she began, "and even though Claire's a half-sibling, it's better than nothing."

Sawyer looked down at the blacktop. "And what if she isn't a match?" he asked, and Kate stared at him.

"We're not thinking in that direction," she hissed. "Please, Sawyer...we need all of the positive vibes we can get. Jack's hope isn't entirely gone." she massaged her forehead, and Sawyer glanced at his watch, muttering quietly.

"Well, when do you want me to do this testing thing?" he asked, and Kate raised her head.

"I--I don't know exactly, but I'm going to call everybody once we get the information." She gave him a hug, thanking him again for lunch, and he nodded.

"Anytime. I'll catch you on the upside." he saluted her, and Kate snorted, rolling her eyes as they parted ways. She returned back to the apartment and found Jack sitting on the couch, flipping through one of his old photo albums. He smiled when she joined him, and they shared a kiss.

"How'd it go?" Jack asked as she began massaging his shoulders, and closed his eyes, savoring her touch. "Oh that feels good." he groaned softly as she hit a tense spot, and Kate nuzzled his neck.

"It went okay," she replied, feeling his forehead, relieved that he wasn't feverish as he felt with the first round of radiation. "What are you doing?" she played with the watch on his wrist, and he moved a little so she could get a closer look. She gasped when she saw more childhood pictures of him, and he smirked at the expression of amusement her in eyes.

"Found this in our bedroom closet...I didn't realize how much crap we have in there. I think we should start sorting it soon," he suggested, and she leaned her head against his shoulder, watching as he flipped the pages carefully.

"What, you mean like spring cleaning?" she asked, and he laughed quietly. "isn't it a little late for that?" she made a playful face, and he grabbed her nose gently. "Argh, Jack..." she slapped his hand away, and allowed him to grab her in a headlock, which resulted in an attack of tickling. She looked under his t-shirt and found the map of marker the radiologist used to give direction for the lazers, and frowned slightly. "Wow," she breathed, pulling a strand of hair over her ear, and Jack set the photo album aside, lifting his shirt so she could see closer. "what is all this?" she touched his skin with her fingertips, and he bent down to kiss the top of her head.

"It's their way of diverting boredom," he tried to tease, and he saw the serious expression on her face. "I'm sorry...it's how they can see the areas where the lazers need to be angled. It's nothing...it washes off, I promise." he touched her cheek gently, and Kate nodded in understanding, squeezing his hands.

"Yeah," she said, managing a smile. "I guess I forgot about that."

He kissed her forehead, and gave her a hug. "Yeah...and I washed it off the first time, so you wouldn't freak out."

Kate pressed her cheek against his stomach, raising her eyebrows. "Nice job," she chuckled, and Jack let her sit up straighter on the couch. "I guess you were a bit preocupied."

When he sneezed, she shook her head, reaching for the photo album. "Closet's pretty dusty, too," he added, "and I was sneezing like crazy for at least an hour." he smirked, and Kate made another face as she opened the album again.

"You poor thing," she teased, and saw a picture with Jack, his mother, and father together towards the beginning. She tensed slightly when Jack slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "Jack..." she pushed him gently away when he tried to kiss her, and he frowned, touching her shoulder. "You have to call your Mom."

He closed his eyes, letting out a small groan as he leaned his head against the back of the couch. "I'm getting up the courage," he muttered, and she slipped out from under him, standing in front of the coffee table, holding the photo album to her chest.

"Let me make it easier for you, then," she began, and he raised his eyebrows in confusion. "I'm not going to do anything sexual related until you do. That means no hugging, no kissing, no touching...until you make that phone call."

He scowled, and Kate shrugged her shoulders. "That's the nastiest thing you've ever said to me," he said in a whiny voice, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut up, Jack," she replied. "I'm serious..._this_ is serious. She needs to know, and..." she closed her eyes, and Jack stood, running a hand over his head.

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll call her right now," he insisted, and Kate smiled, relieved.

"Good," she answered. "I'm going to give you some privacy and look at the rest of these pictures in our bedroom."

Jack nodded in agreement, and she disappeared through the door. Kate peeped through the crack for a couple of moments, watching as he went for the portable phone, and sat at the kitchen table. She shut the door afterwards, and went to sit on their bed, continuing where she left off with the photographs. There were all sorts of pictures in no particular order; Jack was in deed a very good looking young boy, and grew more handsome every year. It was strange to see him in photos with his Dad playing baseball, on the beach...Jack always told her how they never were all that close. Still, here they were smiling and laughing...yet in the later pictures, there weren't very many of them together. Kate wondered if her father's promotion in the hospital produced the strain in their relationship...it was quite possible.

"I can't believe you would go behind my back and do something like that, Mom! I would really appreciate some trust in me and my choices," she heard Jack yell, and the hairs on the back of her neck stuck up. "why can't you just understand that I love her? Isn't that enough? We're in a serious crisis here, and all you can think about is your own insecurities."

Kate leaned against the headboard, feeling her throat choke up with tears. When the yelling stopped, she could hear Jack's voice growing more quiet, and soon he wasn't saying anything. She set the photo album on the edge of the nightstand, and slipped out from the bedroom door, peeking into the kitchen. Jack sat with his face in one hand, and the other hand clutching the phone to his ear. His shoulders were shaking, which was a clear indication that he was crying. Kate leaned against the wall and chewed on her nail, feeling tears slip down her cheeks at the sight of him in such distress.

"Mom, you don't have to come over here," Jack promised. "I'm okay. I just...I'd really like your help, but I want you to respect me. Kate is part of my life, and no matter what you think of her, I'm never going to change my mind. I'm sorry," he apologized, taking a deep breath, and reached for a napkin to blow his nose with. "I'll come over tomorrow, all right?" he promised, and Kate covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle her sobs...she didn't want Jack to think she was spying on him. "I love you, too...good night."

Jack hung up the phone, and gave a great sigh, looking up at the ceiling. "You can come out, Kate," he announced, and she peeped out from the hallway, seeing him gazing at her wearily. "I can sense when you're watching me." he smiled faintly, and Kate came timidly towards him, immediately pulling him into an embrace when she got to the table.

"I am so sorry to make you go through that," she whispered, and he squeezed her arm, kissing her on the forehead.

"I'm not," he replied. "my Mom...well, let's say she did a background check on you," he continued, and Kate backed away, fear in her eyes.

"What?" she cried, and he shook his head. "Jack, why...what does she know?"

He sighed. "Everything," he said quietly, "and she was trying to wheedle me away from you again."

Kate turned away for a moment, feeling sick to her stomach. "Oh my God," she choked, and ran for the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Jack heard the sound of retching a few moments later, and struggled to stand so he could go and check on her.

"Kate?" he knocked twice, trying the knob, and found it to be unlocked. Kate hunched over the toilet, gasping for breath, and he pulled her hair back when he knelt down behind her.

"Shit," she breathed, and he rubbed her shoulders as she began to cry again.

"Come here," he encouraged after she flushed the toilet, and she collapsed against him, exhausted. "no matter what she does, Kate, I'm never going to stop loving you...ever. We found each other for a reason. Hmmm? Right?" he wiped a tear from the edge of her nose, and she managed a small laugh, her stomach feeling hollow and painful.

"Right," Kate choked. "I just don't understand why she would do something like that. If she hated me because I was an underclassman before, now she probably loathes me...an ex fugitive. I killed people, Jack...that's not exactly easily forgivable." she shuddered, and Jack held her close.

"That's where you're wrong, Kate," Jack replied. "you're an ex-fugitive. That isn't who you are anymore...you've paid your pennance a hundred times over on that island. She's going to have to respect you, Kate, or I'm not going to let her in our house." he kissed her ear. "that I promise you."

She glanced at him, too weak to stand for the moment. Jack picked her up much to her surprise, and carried her back into the bedroom. "What are you doing?" she asked softly, and he set her on the bed, lowering his lips to hers.

"Kissing you," he whispered, and Kate touched his cheek.

"What about going over to her house tomorrow?" she asked quietly, and he gazed into her eyes.

"We're going to try to work things out," he said. "we're focusing on my health now...that's what's important."

Kate nodded as he continued to kiss her, not wanting him to stop. She had to laugh when she heard his cell phone rang, and forgot about Claire's call earlier that day. He blinked with confusion; usually the only people who ever called were work, Kate, or occasionally Charlie. He apologized for the interruption, and went to check the phone, not recognizing the number on the ID.

"What's the number?" Kate asked, and when he read it to her, she nodded.

"It's Claire...I told her to give you a call." she smiled at Jack's confusion, and he flipped the cell phone open, leaning back so he could answer. She listened as they talked, and he sounded agreeable to meeting her on Friday night for dinner. She rubbed his tatooed bicep with her palm, wishing she knew what the symbols stood for. Of course, Jack would never tell her...there were certain things he preferred to keep to himself. When he hung up, Jack pulled her close to him again, pressing his lips against hers.

"Now where were we?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair, and Kate smiled shyly.

"In the middle of doing exactly that," she replied, and pressed him down onto the mattress.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Jack spent the rest of the week between the hospital and his mother's house, trying to go over his options. If he thought Kate was a worry wart over his health, his mother was even moreso. She constantly leapt from her chair at the slightest cough or sniffle he produced, asking if he needed tea, medicine, or whatnot. He was grateful to have the distraction of visiting Claire on Friday, and promised Kate he wouldn't stay out all night. She was working until eight thirty, and insisted she'd be fine taking care of herself for dinner.

He went to the liquor store and bought a bottle of wine, which he thought would be a nice treat for Claire and Charlie to have after the baby was born. Jack changed out of the clothes he wore to the radiation treatments, and put on something a bit more respectable, before heading out of the apartment around 5:30.

Claire, meanwhile, busied herself about the house, cleaning and making pasta with alfredo sauce, chicken, and an array of vegetables. Her large stomach made it difficult to stand for long periods of time, but she was used to it, having been forced to walk more than a doctor would have considered safe while pregnant with Aaron. Then again, being on a deserted island with absolutely no medical facilities except a spianl surgeon wasn't exactly safe, either.

She kept glancing at the clock, whose hands seemed to move extra slowly that night, and continued to stir the pasta in the pot on the stove.

"I'm off to the studio," Charlie called as he came out of the bedroom, whistling, and he pecked a kiss on her cheek. "Call me when it's safe to come home, all right?"

She smiled gratefully at him, and insisted she would. He left, and the only sounds in the apartment were the radio playing quietly from one of the general classic rock stations, and Aaron's occasional gurgles from his playpen. The toddler stood watching his mother with his large blue eyes, chewing continuously on one of his stuffed animals. He screeched "Maaa!" and she came to soothe him for a moment, while keeping her eye on the cooking food.

Jack finally arrived at 6:00 sharp, and she checked herself in the mirror before rushing to open the door for him.

"Hey," he greeted, and presented the wine bottle to her.

"Jack, you should know better than this," she laughed as she took it into her hands and accepted a kiss.

"It's for after Shannon," he laughed, and she rolled her eyes playfully, going to store it in their alcohol stash. Jack immediately went for the playpen, and she watched as he picked Aaron up into his arms, bouncing him a little.

"How's my little godson?" he asked softly, and Aaron gave him a liquidy smile, clutching the shoulder of his button down shirt. "Do you need any help?" he called to Claire as she went into the kitchen to finish preparing the meal, and she smiled.

"Of course not," she insisted. "go and relax on the couch for a while. Do you want something to drink?"

Jack shook his head, and Claire brought him a glass of iced tea anyway, which made him smirk. "Thanks," he chuckled. "how have you been doing? I'm starting to recognize you again."

She made a face, and shrugged afterwards. "I'm okay," she promised. "I should be asking about Kate...this is her first, and I remember how terrified I was about the slightest thing."

Jack cleared his throat, taking a sip from the iced tea, and let Aaron play with his car keys. "She's doing a lot better," he replied. "sometimes a bit more irritable than I'd like, but what can you do about that?" he stretched his bad knee, and Aaron let out a small noise at the movement.

"That's good," Claire called. "How is radiation going? Do you have a time when we need to be in for the tests?"

Jack shook his head. His oncologist hadn't mentioned a specific time frame for the donors to be there, but he assumed it was whenever they had time. He explained this to Claire, and she promised she'd go over the schedule with Charlie. In fact, Hurley was arriving on Tuesday, and it was apparently a surprise, so she didn't mention this little bit of information to Jack. When dinner was finally ready, Claire encouraged her guest to join her at the table, and Jack placed Aaron into his high chair.

"There we go," he breathed, and Claire felt her throat choking up at the sight of her half brother with his nephew. Jack was definitely practicing for his own child, and in regular circumstances, she would laugh.

"It looks great," Jack complimented when he helped her carry the dishes to the table, and they sat down, helping themselves.

"Thanks," she said with a nod. "I'm not the world's best cook, but I'm learning. Especially with two men in the house..." she grinned, and watched as Jack served himself.

"I'll admit," Jack began once they started eating, "I was a bit surprised that you wanted to have some time alone with me. I know we never really got to do that on the island...I do regret it."

Claire blushed. "The only times we did were when you were in the middle of saving me," she pointed out, and he smiled. "I know you had a lot going on, Jack...you were trying to help everybody, and that really was difficult."

Jack was quiet for a bit, and she set her fork down, trying to figure out how she wanted to bring up the news of her important discovery. Part of her wanted to just blurt it out, for that's how it felt inside of her...the information wanted to explode from her mouth.

"Are you all right?" Jack asked after a while, and she looked at him. "You look a bit anxious. I promise I'll be fine tonight," he laughed, and she shook her head, chewing on her nail.

"Actually, Jack, I do have a reason for wanting you to come over tonight. Or at least, wanting to spend time alone with you."

Jack raised his eyebrows, confused, and set his fork down. "Oh?" he straightened up, and Claire looked down at her plate, closing her eyes tightly. She felt a bit nauseous from her anxiety, and regretted having eaten before telling him.

"I'm..." she started to speak, and found no words could come out. He blinked in confusion, unsure of what to make of her sudden change in behavior. Claire was usually the calm one in most situations, and to see her freaking out in front of him was a bit unnerving.

"Claire, it's okay," he promised. "you can tell me if something's bothering you."

She nodded, folding her hands and placing them against her mouth. "Jack, I'm your half sister," she whispered, and he leaned forward, unsure if he'd heard her correctly.

"What did you say?" he asked, and she cleared her throat, looking him in the eye.

"I'm your half sister, Jack," she said in a regular voice, and for a few minutes, both of them were silent. Jack felt a wave of numbness wash over his body, and a sensation as though he'd been struck across the face.

"Claire..." he began, and she held up her hand.

"Don't," she begged. "It's been absolute murder getting up the gall to tell you this, believe me. I wouldn't have, but I figured I owed you that much, especially now."

Jack rubbed a hand over his face, having lost interest in the remainder of his meal. "I don't understand," he said quietly, and she slumped her chair, feeling much better now that the information was out in the open. Keeping it a secret from him had been horrible, especially since he trusted her with everything involving himself and Kate.

"I'm so sorry," she choked. "I didn't believe it either at first...I only found out your father was mine when Kate and I went to my ultrasound."

Jack stared at her. "Kate knows about this?" he asked, and she shook her head frantically.

"I made her swear not to tell you," she sobbed. "Jack, I didn't want you to know...you didn't need someone else to worry about. Please don't get angry with Kate."

Jack blew out his breath, crumbling his napkin into a ball. "I have to go and get some fresh air," he said, and Claire watched as he stood slowly, heading towards their patio. She got up and wanted to chase after him, but knew that wouldn't be the smartest idea. Aaron began crying almost as soon as Jack stepped out through the sliding door, and Claire picked up her son, making "shhhhsh"ing noises to calm him down. She peered through the door and watched as Jack leaned on the rail, looking over the cityskape. She knew it wasn't going to be an easy task telling him, and she hated herself for having to do this, when he was already under enough stress with his illness.

She put Aaron back into the playpen after she was certain Jack had enough time to himself, and went out to join him. "Are you okay?" she asked, and he glanced at her over his shoulder for a moment, and back towards the city. "I'm sorry," she added, touching his arm. "I don't like the situation anymore than you do."

He smiled faintly. "I'm not angry that you're my half-sister," he promised, and she leaned against the rail with him. "I'm just...I'm stunned. I really thought I knew who my Dad was...and now..." he rubbed a hand over his face again. "How did you find out?"

Claire blew out her breath, and looked down at her hands. "Well, the doctor in charge of the ultrasound started talking to Kate about you father, and how he was a chief of surgery for a long time at the hospital. He brought us to the portrait section, and I recognized the man's face immediately...I'd spoken with him before leaving Sydney."

Jack blinked. "You knew my father the entire time we were on the island?" he breathed, and she wet her lips.

"I didnt know he was your father," she insisted. "I remember him telling me about his son, who was a few years older than me and a doctor, too. I hated him so much, so I didn't care to ask about you. I hated him, because of how he just suddenly decided to walk into my life, after I assumed he was dead all this time."

Jack smiled again. "I see." he sniffed, and folded his arms. "so...what did he tell you?"

"He said...he and my Mum met while she was studying in the states, and they were really becoming close...or so she thought. She suddenly discovered he was already married, and immediately threw him out of the house. She moved back to Sydney and had me, and always told me my father was dead. Then she was in a terrible car accident...we both were, and this anonymous person was paying our bills. It turned out to be your father." she chewed on her lip, and Jack nodded, having a bit of difficulty taking this all in. He'd known his father to be a drinker, but even through all that, he swore he'd been absolutely faithful this mother. She cherished him with everything she had, and if she knew about this, her faith would be shattered.

"How is your Mom?" he asked, and Claire lowered her eyes.

"She died," she began slowly, and Jack reached for her hand, but Claire moved it away. "I don't need any sympathy, Jack...I've made my peace with it now." she glanced at him. "but..." she shrugged her shoulders, and cocked her head to one side. "what do we do?"

He shuffled his feet, and sighed. "I don't know," he admited. "I don't think we should bother telling my Mom about this...after all, it's not like my Dad is still alive and able to keep sneaking around." he felt suddenly cold, and Claire suggested they go back inside. They sat down on the couch, and she offered him a cup of tea.

"Thank you," he said, and Claire went to make each of them a mug of fresh chamomile.

"So...are you going to tell your Mum about me?" she asked, once they'd each taken a small sip, and Jack looked at her.

"No," he replied. "It's not worth putting her through that...not now. We'll keep this to ourselves for now."

Claire nodded, glancing into her teamug, and then Jack thought for a moment. "Wait...maybe we should...it would finally open her eyes to how he really was. She just did a background check on Kate, and found out all about her criminal past...even though I can forgive her for most things, I dont think I can forgive her for hurting my wife like that."

Claire stared at him, and blew out her breath very slowly. "Oh my God...how did Kate take it?" she asked, and Jack took another sip of tea.

"Let's just say she paid penance to the porcelain gods shortly afterwards," he replied, and Claire shook her head.

"Your Mum is a tough one," she said, and Jack nodded, "but I don't want to be thought of as a revenge tactic." she gave him a look, and Jack gave her a hug.

"I know," he replied. "but you're going to be my best hope for this transplant. If it turns out to be a match, then we'll tell her."

Claire nodded in understanding. "That sounds a bit more reasonable," she agreed. "God, I was so proud when I found out you were related to me. I couldn't ask for a better person to be my half-brother."

Jack laughed, and kissed her cheek. "That's an honor," he said. "You know what...now that I think about it, we do look a bit similar."

It was Claire's turn to laugh, and she nodded. "Charlie said that, too," she said. "Jack, I seriously hope you can beat this. I can't imagine loosing another family member I'm close to."

Jack cleared his throat, and let go of her, managing another smile. "I can't promise anything, Claire," he replied. "but I'm going to do whatever I can to at least give myself the best chance."

She nodded, and glanced at the dinner table, which still contained a bulk of their food. "Are you still hungry?" she asked, and he chuckled, apologizing for having ruined the initial outcome of the meal.

"No," she insisted, "it wasn't your fault. I had a feeling this would happen after I told you, but I wanted to bring the news to you as slowly as I could."

Jack thanked her for it, and he was grateful when Claire made him a plate to take home and eat at another time, and offered a bit of the chocolate cake she bought from the supermarket. "I think I'm all right for now," he said, and after giving her a kiss and one for Aaron, thanked her for being honest with him.

"Just promise me you won't turn around and loose your temper on Kate," she begged, grabbing his arm, and he smiled.

"I promise I wont," he said. "she did the right thing." he said goodnight, and Claire watched as he headed towards the steps leading for the exit, and leaned against the door after it closed. In its entirety, the situation had turned out quite so bad as she expected. She knew Jack would be upset and flustered, but luckily he hadn't fainted as a result. Once she gained enough momentum to move again, she began the process of cleaning up from dinner.

Jack didn't arrive home until after 10...he spent an hour walking on the beach, watching as the moonlight glistened on the water. _"I'm your half sister...I'm your half sister..._" the news kept replaying itself in his mind, and it still seemed so unbelievable. A person he'd known for two years now, turned out to be related...it was something that happened in the movies!

When he arrived back at the apartment, Kate was sitting on the living room couch watching television in her pajamas. He frowned at the tired expression on her face, and snuck up behind her.

"Hey," he greeted, and lowered his head so he could kiss her on the cheek. She looked at him, smiling softly.

"You're home late," she said. "I was getting worried. Are you okay?"

He sat down next to her on the couch, and she reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Yeah...I just had to do some thinking on my own for a while." he kissed her, and Kate wrapped her arms around him.

"She told you, didn't she?" Kate asked, and Jack nodded, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah...I'll tell you, I'm impressed that you kept the secret for so long. Especially after all of the trust issues we had for so long."

Kate bit her lip, and lowered her head. "I hated doing it, Jack," she said, rubbing his chest. "I really hated not telling you, but I wanted to respect Claire's wishes. It was a pretty intense situation." she felt his forehead. "you're feeling a little warm, honey."

Jack cleared his throat. "I'm fine," he insisted, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"You really need to take it easy," she said, and went to get the thermometer. Jack lay down once he had the couch to himself, and closed his eyes for a few minutes. When she came back into the living room, she frowned at the sight of him asleep, and shook him gently awake.

"Mmm?" he murmered, and cracked open one eye, finding her kneeling in front of him with the thermometer in her hand. "Oh...sorry..." he yawned, and struggled to sit up. She took his temperature, not pleased when it ended up being 101.9. Luckily it had been higher than that before, so he wasn't in too bad of shape.

"I'll get you some ibuprofin and see you to bed," she added, and Jack apologized again when she helped him to his feet.

"If you'd listened to me, you would have done your thinking on the patio," she sighed, and led him into the bedroom. Once he was resting comfortably under the covers, Kate laced her fingers through his, and placed them against her lips. "at least you know I have good willpower...I keep my promises." she narrowed her eyes, and Jack reached up to brush the hair away from her face.

"I'm reminded every second of why I love you," he said in a whisper, and Kate nestled close, placing her hand over his heart.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

When Hurley arrived the following Tuesday, everything began to go underway for the bone marrow testing. Jack was of course, stunned, but definitely pleased when Charlie brought him over.

"How are you doin', man?" Hurley asked, and was shocked to see how tired and pale the doctor looked. Not that Jack hadn't been this way once or twice on the island, but it had a different tone.

"Hanging in there," Jack replied honestly. "thanks for coming out here, Hurley--we really appreciate it." he felt Kate rub his back soothingly, and offered both guests something to drink. Jack told Hurley as much as he could about his situation, which was very difficult to reiterate.

"We're here for you, dude," Hurley promised, and Jack nodded, squeezing Kate's hand tightly when she came back to sit down after passing glasses to everyone.

Everyone met at the hospital around one (Jin and SUn ewre coming in the following morning, beause their plane had been delayed), and Dr. Olina walked them through the process.

"It's going to sting a little," she explained, "but that's about the extent of it."

Sawyer smirked. "Ol' Jumbotron here probably won't feel a thing," he said in a low voice, and Hurley narrowed his eyes, clearing his throat.

"Dude, I heard that," he replied, and Kate gave Jack an amused glance. Sawyer would never truly change in that regard.

"Well, who wants to go first?" Dr. Olina glanced at each of them, and Claire raised her hand timidly. Jack smiled at her when she was led away down a narrow hall. Everyone else sat fidgeting while they waited; it was torturous being in a waiting room, but no one complained verbally. Jack used Kate's shoulder as a pillow, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his knee and hips. Even with the medication provided by the doctor, it didn't seem to abate very much.

"Getting a little antsy, Sawyer?" Kate asked, grinning at the expression on his face. Barely a moment after she'd spoken, the door to the room opened and Margo Shepard came in. SHe eyed Kate with disgust at first, and tried her best to hide it when Jack awoke to greet her.

"I'm sorry I'm late, honey," she apoloigized. "there was an accident and traffic was a nightmare." she kissed him quickly and felt his forehead as a precaution, finding a spare seat.

Jack turned to Sawyer, Charlie and Hurley, introducing them one at a time. "We've heard a lot about you," Charlie pointed out, and Margo nodded, realizing she'd chosen the seat right beside Kate.

"Kate," she greeted cooly, and Kate merely nodded, feeling sick to her stomach all over again.

"Margo," she replied in the same tone, keeping an arm around Jack's shoulders, not wanting to let him go.

Sawyer kept watching them with expectance on his face. The last time he saw Kate this tense was when they were with the others, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Jack, honey--do you need anything?" Margo asked, and he shook his head.

"No, mom...I'm all right, thanks. Kate's been taking good care of me since we got here." he could feel her body tense a little under his touch, but she gave him a grateful look. Claire soon came out, looking a little sore, and nearly fainted when she saw Margo sitting in the waiting room. Jack had described her before, so she recognized the woman at first glance. She introduced herself, and Margo luckily seemed pleased by her disposition.

"How did it go?" Kate asked, offering to go next...the sonner she got it over with, the sooner she could come back to rescue her husband.

"Fine, I think," Claire replied. "it's a little tender, but after giving birth in the middle of a jungle, nothing hurts nearly as much."

Everyone laughed, and Kate gave Jack a quick kiss before the oncologist took her down the same hallway. "How has Jack been feeling with the radiation?" Dr. Olina asked, once they were in the room with a metal table. Kate undressed and put on the paper gown provided, feeling slightly awkward with her steadily growing stomach.

"He's always a little tired and sore when he gets home, but that's probably the worst of it," she replied. "He did have a little fever on Friday, but that's because he was out late and over-exerted himself."

Dr. Olina nodded in understanding, and told Kate to lay down; the metal was cold, and caused her to shiver a little when her bare skin touched it.

"Jack is really lucky to have your support," Dr. Olina continued, trying to distract her patient from the situation at hand. "This is a difficult situation for anyone to go through." she rubbed alcohol on Kate's thigh, which was the safest area to do the shaving.

"He's been having a rough time emotionally," Kate admitted, cosing her eyes--it was an interseting sensation,a nd did sting--but she was used to pain. Once she had the wound cleaned and bandaged, she put her clothes back on, and waited until the doctor came back in before speaking again. "Once everyone has been tested, about how long would it take to get the results back?" she asked, and Dr. Olina smiled at her.

"About a week," she replied, and Kate fiddled with the wedding band on her finger.

"And...if neither of us are a match..." it hurt to even bring this up, but there was always the possibility.

"Then if he agrees, we'll put him on a donor list, which could take months or up to a year or more before a match is found," Dr. Olina replied, and Kate sat down in the chair, feeling a bit lighteheaded.

"Be honest with me," she began. "Do you think Jack has a chance of surviving this?"

Silence passed between them, and Dr. Olina set her chart down so she could sit as well. "Kate, we can't make any assumptions right now," she replied. "as I've told the both of you at the last visit, miracles are possible, and he could come out of this without a problem. But I will admit, his chances of pulling completely through are rather slim. It would be different if he didn't have cancer prior to this attack, but his body has already been weakened considerably. I wouldn't give up, though, honey. Oh..." she wrote a prescription for another round of pain killers for Jack, and handed the paper to Kate. "Before I forget, this should help."

Kate closed her eyes, feeling tears welling up in them. "Thanks," she whispered. "I uh...had better get out there so the others can have their turn." she wiped her cheeks, which were wet, and Dr. Olina watched as she left, frowning.

When Kate came back into the waiting room, Jack noticed the expression on her face. "Are you okay?" he asked, and she laced her fingers through his, pressing them against her lips for a moment.

"I'm fine," she squeaked, and handed Jack the script. "Happy birthday."

Jack laughed, thanking her. Once everyone had gone through the procedure, Margo offered to take them to breakfast.

"No, Mom," Jack protested, and she shook her head.

"I insist," she replied, and after everybody checked their schedules, they headed to one of the local diners. Kate was half tempted to decline the offer, especially after she felt so uncomfortable in Margo's presence, but she wanted to be the bigger person.

There was a bit of a wait, but luckily plenty of benches to sit so Jack didn't have to stand for any length of time. It was a shockingly pleasant situation, and even Kate felt a surge of pride at how kindly Margo treated Charlie and Claire. She seemed impressed by their entertainment career, and Charlie explained what got him into music to begin with. Kate had to chuckle to herself as she sat between Jack and Sawyer; it was almost ironic.

Sawyer actually resigned himself to talking with Hurley, who was currently going to college for a psychology degree.

"Really!" Jack exclaimed with surprise. "How's that going?"

Hurley gave him a look over his plate of eggs, scrapple, homefries and toast. "It's going," he replied, and Kate laughed.

"I'm sure you're doing just fine," she insisted, and Hurley gave her a smile.

"So, Kate," Margo began, and the table grew suddenly silent. "Have you and Jack given any thought to baby names? Claire tells me she wants to name her daughter Shannon."

Kate hesitated; she always felt so self-conscious around Jack's mother, and now that she knew about her criminal history, the anxiety was worse. "Well, we've decided Luke for a boy...my Dad was a Star Wars fan, so I've always liked that name...or Jacqueline if it was a girl."

Margo narrowed her eyes, and cupped her hands over her chin. "Your father, mmm?" she asked, and Jack closed his eyes, feeling the tension in the air thicken.

"Eggs! These are really good eggs," Charlie announced, and Kate gave him a grateful look. "Mrs. Shepard, I'm glad you offered to take us out to breakfast...it's not everyday I'm treated to such a good bit of cook..." Claire elbowed him in the side, and he gave her an innocent look.

"You're welcome, Charlie," Margo replied, and chose to end the conversation.

After breakfast, Kate was ready to run home, but Jack's arm around her waist kept her still.

"Call me if you need anything, sweetheart," Margo announced as they headed to the parking lot. Sawyer watched from a distance as Jack allowed his mother to give him a kiss, and she got into her car without a single word to Kate.

"Damn," He breathed, once the three of them gathered in a triangle before disappearing into their car. "You weren't kidding about her."

Kate folded her arms, wanting desparately to kick the tire of their minivan. Jack noticed her expression, and hugged her tightly, allowing her to burry her face against his chest. "It's okay," he promised. "My Mom was born a royal pain in the ass...it's nothing to do with you."

Sawyer shifted from side to side, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Don't let her get to you freckles," he added. "Jack, listen, make sure to give me a ring if you need any help, okay?"

Jack nodded, thanking him, and when Sawyer had driven off, he planted a kiss on Kate's lips. "It's going to be all right," he added. "Let's go home."

Kate agreed, feeling a bit foolish acting like this in the middle of a parking lot. As they drove back to the apartment, the words of Dr. Olina rang in her head...that Jack had a very slim chance of surviving this bout of cancer. _But I've never given up on mircales..._she pressed her knuckles against her lips, and fought the urge to cry. _You can't freak out in front of Jack...he needs to concentrate on fighting this, _she thought as they pulled into their complex. It was such a beautiful day, which almost mocked her in a sense.

"Look at it this way," Jack began as they took the elevator up to their apartment. "We have the rest of the day to do nothing but lay around the house." he took her face in her hands and kissed her forehead.

"You're always so pleasant," she managed to laugh as they stepped onto their floor. "Sometimes it drives me nuts." she pinched his side gently, and Jack pretended to look insulted.

"Come on, you," he teased, opening the front door. "Home sweet home!"

"Thank God," Kate breathed, not wanting to be anywhere else.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Over the next couple of months, Kate's stomach slowly began to show. By the seventh month, she was getting so large that she called herself the "cautionary whale".

"You are not," Claire laughed as the two of them went out to lunch together one afternoon. "believe me, I can completely sympathize with your condition." she motioned to her own stomach, and according to Charlie, her due date for Shannon would be any day now. However, Claire refused to lay around the house and do nothing all afternoon, even though she had taken a leave of absense from concert rehearsals.

Kate gently massaged her stomach tenderly with the palm of her hand, and blew out her breath as the baby kicked one of his tiny feet. "I can't believe you did this while stranded on an island the first time," she groaned, struggling to sit up a little straighter. "I'm almost ready to reach in and rip the kid out myself."

Claire cringed at the comment, and ate another french fry. "So any luck with bone marrow doners yet?"

Kate bristled slightly, even though she knew Claire didn't mean any harm. It was just so difficult, waiting...especially after discovering neither of them were a match.

"We haven't heard a damn thing," she groaned. "Jack just...he's..." she massaged her forehead wearily. "We're both exhausted."

"I just had a thought," Claire spoke up after the waiter came by to see if they wanted anything else from the menu. Pregnancy had given Kate an entirely new appetite, and she felt like a bottomless pit. Not only that, but the strange cravings drove her nuts sometimes! She ordered a banana split with peanuts sprinkled on top for dessert, and rapped her fingers on the table absentmindedly.

"What's that?" she asked, and Claire leaned forward.

"We havent tested Aaron yet. I...didn't want to bring this up, but I think we're starting to reach our desparation point. Charlie and I were talking last night, and doing some research."

Kate's eyes widened. "Aaron? Is that possible...he's just two!"

"Well, I called Dr. Olina and she said it is possible to use a toddler's bone marrow if necessary."

Kate took a deep breath, and sipped from her glass of soda. "I'll bring up the suggestion to Jack, but I can tell you right now, he won't hear of it," she said, and Claire chewed on her lower lip.

"He's not getting any better," Claire pointed out, just as the waiter dropped off the ice cream dish. "and with your baby coming so soon, I dont think it would hurt to mention the idea."

Kate took a bite of her ice cream, savoring the sweet and the salty combination. "I will," she promised. "but I can't garuntee he'll accept. Jack's been spending a lot of time just sitting in the nursery and staring at the crib."

Claire nodded in understanding; this had to be an incredibly difficult situation to go through.

When they finished eating, Kate did her best to help Claire stand, and the two of them waddled through the front door together. "This is hilarious," Claire giggled once they reached the parking lot. "Someone should really take a picture of the two of us."

"I know, right?" Kate teased, and opened the door for the younger woman, encouraging her to move as slowly as she had to.

"Don't want to cause any unnecessary damage," she warned, and Claire stuck out her tongue in response.

Once they were both seated somewhat comfortably, Kate checked her cell phone, and saw Jack had attempted to reach her. "Aww damn," she cursed, and immediately dialed his cell number, hoping nothing had happened. Claire cleared her throat and waited patiently as they pulled out of the lot and onto the highway, heading towards her apartment complex. "Hey...you called?"

Claire watched the scenery go by at the wharp speed, humming softly to herself.

"Oh no, don't even bother, Jack. No, I can take care of it. Will you give yourself a rest?" She glanced at Claire with amusement, and her friend smiled softly. "Jack, seriously, I don't mind stopping by the drug store. I'm dropping Claire off now. Okay...love you, bye." she hung up, and blew out her breath with exhasperation.

"What did he want?" Claire asked, and Kate rolled her eyes.

"He's being a busy body," she mused. "and wanted to go out and pick up some more laundry detergent. Told him I'd stop on the way home and get it...I know he just wants to leave the house, but I seriously don't trust him driving alone these days."

Claire let out a small whistle, and made a small grunt of discomfort. "I'll probably wind up crashing on the couch for the rest of the day," she admitted, once they pulled into their complex.

"That was fun," she said, and Kate smiled, asking if she could help her friend upstairs. "Oh no...I'll be all right. Trust me, I've carried Aaron before with this belly. No worries." they exchanged hugs, and Claire put her hands on Kate's shoulders. "It doesn't hurt to bring up Aaron to Jack," she admitted, and Kate gave her hand a squeeze.

"I promise I'll ask him," she replied, and waved as Claire waddled through the front door after using her key to unlock it.

Sighing softly, Kate turned and headed back for the car, desparate as usual to get home to her husband. Remembering to stop at a CVS on the way for laundry detergent, Kate picked up a bottle of ibuprofin, as they were running short on that as well.

She hated leaving Jack for long periods of time; some days he could barely get up from the couch, he was in so much pain. The medicine Dr. Olina provided him with helped somewhat, but didn't last all day, and in the middle of the night he would start to toss and turn.

She arrived at the apartment around two thirty, and quickened her pace (or what she considered to be quick in her condition). Kate felt a wave of relief when she found Jack laying on the couch watching television, lazily flipping through channels.

"Hey," she greeted once she opened and shut the front door to their apartment, and kept one hand on her stomach and the other at her side as she wandered into the living room.

"Hi," Jack replied, struggling to sit, and accepted her embrace. "Ah, you got it," he croaked, noticing the detergent in her hand, and she held it up in clearview.

"I hope you'll like smelling like Mountain Fresh," she replied, and he managed a laugh.

"You're a little warm," Kate admitted, placing a hand against his forehead, and he shrugged. "how are you feeling?"

"The same," he replied. "how about you? I'll have to say, I think you look rather sexy with that large tummy."

"Oh shush," Kate laughed, sitting down, and placing her purse on the floor. "my back feels like it's going to break in half, and I feel like I have to pee twenty four seven. Plus, I think I've officially turned into a bottomless pit." she allowed Jack to ease her legs over his thighs, and remove her shoes for a massage.

"That's healthy," he insisted. "you're eating for two now, you know."

Kate nodded, accidentally releasing a belch, and blushed. "Sorry," she laughed, and he made a playful face.

"So did you and Claire have a good time? How is she?" he asked, and Kate closed her eyes, the feeling of his hands on her feet heavenly.

"She'll probably wind up having Shannon by the end of the week if that," she replied, and Jack nodded in understanding. "Jack, I feel like a bloated mess right now. How can you POSSIBLY find this sexy?" she leaned her head back a little, and Jack took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers.

"Kate, I'll always love you no matter what you look like. We could be old, wrinkled and toothless...I'd still find you incredibly breathtaking."

Kate felt her throat choking up with tears at his comment, and struggled to sit herself, kissing him passionately. "You still look as incredibly handsome as you did when I first met you on the island," she replied, and he closed his eyes when she touched his face. If any of the other castaways saw Jack now, more than likely they wouldn't recognize him.

"Did anybody call while I was out?" she asked, and he continued his massage.

"Nope," he replied. "been pretty quiet this afternoon." he sighed, and Kate cleared her throat, wondering if she should bring up Claire's suggestion before they became distracted.

"Jack," she began slowly, and he looked at her, curious. "um...listen. Claire and Charlie were talking, and they might have another possible bone marrow match for you."

Jack straightened up, his eyebrows raising. "Oh? Who?" he allowed Kate to sit straight, and she fiddled nervously with her wedding ring.

"Aaron."

Dead silence filled the air, and Jack stood, bewilderment apparent on his face. "Absolutely not," he snarled. "I'd rather die than make my nephew and godson go through that."

"Jack," Kate choked, and he stared at her.

"He's barely two years old, and...no. Kate... no," he added, when he saw she was about to interject, and Kate swallowed hard.

"Jack," she whispered, and he rubbed a hand over his face. "we haven't heard anything about this in over six months. Quite honestly, I'm starting to loose hope with the whole thing. Claire said she spoke with your oncologist, and it is possible to do..."

"Am I not making myself clear when I said no?" Jack asked, sitting down again, and she gripped his arm, choking on tears. "Kate, believe me, I don't like this anymore than you do."

"So I'm supposed to just sit here and watch you die, is that it?" she sobbed, and he pulled her close, rubbing her back soothingly. "Jack, please don't make your peace with this yet. Please..." she begged, and Jack kissed her forehead tenderly.

"I made my peace with it five months ago," he whispered, and she touched his face again, slowly moving her hands down to his chest. "I'm tired of fighting, Kate. I just want to live what's left of my life with you, and not be dealing with constant treatment."

"But what about our child?" she asked, and he took a deep breath. "Jack, I don't know if I can take care of this baby alone."

"You won't be alone," he promised. "you'll have Sawyer."

She gaped at him. "What..." she breathed, and he shook hsi head.

"I don't mean you'll have him, but he's going to be our baby's godfather. It's his responsibility to do what he can to help you in anyway possible. Plus, we have Charlie and Claire always availible. Kate, look at me...I want you to understand what I'm going through. I've been fighting cancer for a long time, and I'm ready to just let fate take it's course."

She embraced him again, burrying her face against his shirt, and let the tears come. She couldn't believe this was happening; Jack had never been the type of person who gave up a fight.

"Kate, I love you," he whispered into her ear. "I want to be honest with you."

"Oh God," Kate sobbed. "Jack..."

He smoothed her hair, and raised her chin so she could look into his eyes. "It's been bottling up for quite a while," he admitted. "and I tried to wait, I tried to be hopeful, but when neither of you were a proper match...and the donor list is a long shot. I'm just so tired."

Kate nodded, rubbing his arms briskly, and gave a great sniff. "What will I tell the others?" she asked, and he brushed her hair away from her face.

"When the timing's right I'll do that," he promised. "I want whatever time I have left to be as happy as possible, though. Our baby'll be born by the end of November, we have Charlie and Claire's concert in December...their wedding...I want to be surrounded with good things. I want to have pleasant memories."

Kate squeezed his arms, before wiping the tears from her eyes. "Well," she began slowly, "I'll make sure you get just that," she replied. "I love you. I always will, no matter where you go."

Jack embraced her again, listening as _Somewhere over the Rainbow _rang in their ears from the television set.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Jack and Kate turned in early that night, but were awoken around one in the morning by the phone ringing. Jack stumbled out of bed, accidentally stubbing his toe on the leg on the dresser.

"You okay?" Kate asked in a quiet voice, and he insisted he was fine, hobbling into the living room. Struggling to sit upright, Kate checked the time on the alarm clock, and her eyes widened. "Who could be calling at this hour?" she thought out loud, and when Jack came running back in, she knew the answer.

"Claire just went into labor," he announced, and she was out of bed faster than she thought possible. "No, we're going to go when the sun comes up," he added, noticing Kate had begun gathering her clothes. "She might not have the baby for quite a few hours yet...the contractions can last a while."

"Dammit," Kate cursed, and sat down on the edge of the bed, grimacing at the pain in her lower back, and Jack joined her.

"If she delivered a baby on the island without a real doctor to help her, I think Clarie will be fine in a hospital," he promised, and Kate leaned against him, feeling dizzy.

"Yeah," she breathed. "I can't believe she's having another one."

Jack grinned as they crawled back under the covers, setting the alarm for a relatively early hour.

"I know," he agreed. "it feels like yesterday when you helped deliver Aaron."

Kate wrapped her arm around his middle, and snuggled close. Their conversation earlier that previous day still haunted her mind; the fact that Jack had given up the battle, and just wanted to exist.

_I know I should respect his wishes, but I can't help feeling this way, _she thought, her eyes focusing on her stomach, fascinated that a small human being was forming. She had to talk to Sawyer about this, to let him know what to expect.

It took a long time for her to fall asleep, and it was far from restful.

Claire had Shannon Elizabeth Pace at precicesely twelve o'clock noon that day. Jack and Kate flew to the hospital early in the morning, helping her through the long painful contractions.

When the baby came out healthy and flailing her little arms and legs, Kate couldn't help but shed tears of happiness. She was thrilled at the expression on Charlie's face as well; it was one thing witnessing the birth of a child that wasn't your own. This was his very first, and the pride was completely genuine.

"She's beautiful," Kate gasped, and Claire encouraged everyone in the room to take turns holding the infant.

"Jack?" Charlie asked, when he held the baby, who seemed to stop crying at once in his arms. "you all right, mate? You went kind of blank."

"He definitely has a way with children, doesn't he?" Claire asked, and Kate encouraged her husband to return the child to its mother after a couple of minutes.

"Come on," she said, rubbing his shoulder tenderly, and eased him into the nearest chair. "sit down before you end up on the floor."

"Is everything okay?" Claire asked, and Kate looked at her, not wanting to break the news Jack had given her the previous night.

"Yeah," she lied, and gave Charlie a hug. "Congratulations," she announced, and he grinned, bowing low afterwards.

"Can I talk to you for a minute in private?" Charlie asked, glancing at Claire who lay making soft cooing noises at her new daughter, gently smoothing the head of soft fluff. Kate shared a glance with Jack, who promised he would be all right, and followed her friend into the hallway.

"Did Claire tell you about our...plan with Aaron?" Charlie leaned against the wall, and folded his arms, narrowing his eyes.

Kate felt the familiar tears choking her again, and he immediately noticed her change of expression. "Hey, hey--what's wrong?" he asked, reaching for her arm, and she massaged her forehead gently.

"It's..." she cleared her throat. "Jack didn't want me to say anything yet, but he didn't agree. I did ask him last night, practically pleaded with him to change his mind..."

Charlie stared at her. "He's giving up, isn't he?" he asked, and Kate raised her eyebrows, not sure how to respond. Charlie rubbed a hand over his face, and glanced towards the hospital room door.

"He's so tired," she explained. "and I know he's been fighting so hard to beat the cancer."

"But why would he give up hope now, especially when you're about to have your own baby?" Charlie asked, trying not to raise his voice too loudly. The last thing he wanted was to upset Claire in her current condition.

"I don't know," Kate admitted. "but as difficult of a decision as this is to make, I think we all should go with his wishes."

Charlie looked up at the ceiling, and Kate stepped forward so she could attempt to give him a hug, but he wouldn't allow her to do so. Instead, he opened the door to the hospital room to be with Claire and his new daughter, leaving Kate alone in the corridor.

Jack could sense the tension in the room had changed consierably when they both returned, and shot Kate a questioning look as she sat down in the spare seat beside Claire's bed. Shannon was sleeping peacefully now, her little fingers curled over her mother's thumb.

"Is everything okay?" Claire asked, looking from one to the other, and Charlie gave her one of his familiar _don't worry about it _smiles.

"Oh yeah," he promised. "we were just talking."

"And we really should be going," Kate added, when Jack coughed, leaning his head back against the wall. "We'll be back tomorrow."

Claire smiled at her, accepting hugs and kisses from each. "You'll be here before you know it," she promised, and Kate bent down to place a very gentle kiss on top of her niece's forehead. The baby squirmed a little under her sudden touch, but didn't actually wake. She felt Jack lace his fingers through hers, and after saying a final goodbye, left the room.

"I told Charlie," Kate admitted as they walked towards the elevator, and Jack turned to stare at her. "He asked if I'd brought up the option with Aaron, and he called it, Jack. I told him I had spoken with you, but you weren't going with the idea."

"I had a feeling," Jack replied. "he seemed a little on edge."

She slipped an arm around his waist once they were in the elevator, waiting patiently for the contraption to reach the first floor. "Jack," she began once they were in the car and heading home. "why?" she cocked her head to one side, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Why what?" he asked, and she put the key into the ignition, placing her hands in her laps afterwards.

"Why did you choose to just end everything? I saw how you were holding Shannon, and clearly you want a child of your own.Why would you just give up when we're so close to living that dream?"

Jack reached for her hand, and squeezed it tightly. "I've already told you, Kate," he replied. "I'm tired of dead ends. I feel like everything we've gone through for the past several months has just been..."

"Pointless?" Kate finished. "Is that what you think, Jack?"

"I'm a doctor," he continued. "The idea of miracles just..." he shrugged. "They're a long shot, and I'm trying not to get my hopes up."

Kate leaned forward to kiss him gently on the forehead, and placed his hands against her cheek. "I love you, Jack," she breathed. "and nothing is ever going to tear us apart, whether it be on earth or in heaven. I refuse to be separated from you."

"And you won't," Jack promised. "even if I do die, and not saying it's going to happen tomorrow or anytime soon. Dr. Olina did tell us I have a good year or two if I decide not to go with the treatments...I will always be with you, even if my body isnt here."

Kate sniffed, and pulled him close, hoping she wouldn't loose it again.

"I just wanted you to know that even though Sawyer is going to be the godfather, I will never feel the same way about him as I do for you. We were meant to be together, even if for a short time."

Jack smiled, a sense of relief filling his body. "Are you going to be okay to drive?" he asked, and she nodded, gripping the steerling wheel tightly.

"Yeah," she promised. "I just need a few minutes."

Jack cleared his throat and leaned back against his seat, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his legs. "Shannon was beautiful, wasn't she?" he asked, once they pulled out of the hospital parking lot. He glanced longingly back over his shoulder, missing being there on a regular basis for work. He thought about returning since he no longer would be dealing with treatments, but the almost consistent pain and exhaustion kept him from doing so.

"Yes, she is," Kate agreed. "she looks a lot like Charlie with that pug nose."

Jack chuckled warmly. "Who do you think our baby will look like? Me or you?" he asked, and Kate smirked a little.

"I think he'll have my eyes, and probably your facial features," she replied. "And maybe just to throw us off he'll have bright red hair rather than brown."

Jack laughed. "I hope not," he admited, and Kate made a face.

"What? Red heads are just as adorable as brunettes or blondes," she argued, and Jack tickled her side playfully (they were at a stop light), causing her to shriek with laughter.

"Not a good idea," she gasped. "I might loose whatever I had for lunch all over you."

Jack chuckled warmly as they continued driving, and eventually reached home. Kate slipped an arm around his shoulders to give him support while he walked, for exhaustion seemed to be settling in again. When they arrived, a voice mail from Jack's mother awaited on the answering machine. Even though Kate was still at odds with Margo Shepard, she could tell the older woman was trying her best not to cause unnecessary tension between them. After all, fighing wouldn't help matters, so they produced a mutual feeling of indifference instead.

"Just checking in to see how you've been feeling, dear, and wanted to invite you over for supper on Sunday night. Tell Kate she is more than welcome to come along."

Kate smirked once Jack pressed the delete button, and he squeezed her hands. "We dont have to go if you don't want to," he promised, and she shook her head, leaning against his chest.

"I do want to be the bigger person," she said. "even if it means torturing myself for a few hours."

Jack kissed her lips softly, and encouraged her to lay down for a while. The idea of lounging lazily in bed or on the couch sounded very nice to Kate, who wasn't used to being still for so long. Jack watched as she stretched out onto the couch, groaning as she covered her stomach with her hand. He joined her a few minutes later, and began to very tenderly massage her belly.

"I wonder if the baby can hear us," Kate said in a soft voice. "when you're not around I do sing to him, or tell him stories..."

"What makes you think it'll be a he?" Jack asked, and Kate shrugged.

"Just instinct, I guess," she replied, and he cleared his throat.

"I'm sure they can hear us," he said, and Kate smiled at him again. "would you like me to say anything specific?" he continued to massage her stomach gently with his hands, and she struggled to sit up a little.

"Just tell him who you are, and how much you love him," Kate replied, feeling her throat choke up. Jack did just that, and went on to say how he was hoping he would be as good of a father as possible.

"My hope is to be around long enough to watch you grow," Jack continued, and Kate closed her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "but unfortunately, buddy, I can't garuntee anything. What I can say, though, is you're surrounded by an amazing group of people who will love and care for you as though you're their own. But hopefully I'll be seeing you soon, Luke...all right?"

Kate sniffed when he finished, and reached her hand towards him. "Jack," she whispered, and he looked at her. "please, just hold me."

He moved closer so she wouldn't have to push herself anymore than necessary, and enveloped her in his arms.


End file.
